So, I finally decided that I should at least try to go back to full-time work. Everyone in our house is in full-time school. No one really needs my help during the day, and well, let's face it. The extra money would be nice. So I began my search.

I have a college degree. Before I quit work to raise a family and follow my soldier across the nation, I worked for two different Fortune 500 companies. And that's nothing to sneeze at, if I do say so myself. However, in the last 10 years, 99 percent of the positions I have held have been volunteer. Those positions did require that I manage people, inventory, budgets, time and data, but sometimes I think it is difficult to show a potential employer how valuable volunteer time can be and the experience it can bring. I wasn't really sure where to start, but I have a presence on LinkedIn and that was where I began my search.

I searched LinkedIn for jobs in my area and I did the same on usajobs.gov. I have applied for 10 or more jobs that I felt matched my experience both on the job and as a volunteer. I even applied for jobs that I thought would be fun but I may not have enough experience to do. But if you don't ask, the answer will always be no, right?

So, I have checked my ego at the door of the internet, and I have floated a lot of résumés. I have filed a lot of auto responses that read something to the effect of, "Thank you for your interest. We'll contact you."

Honestly, once I filed those emails, I had forgotten all about all of the résumés that I had sent. I had forgotten until last Tuesday.

I didn't hear the phone ring. It was on vibrate. I picked it up to check it because the kids were in camp, and if I had seen or heard it ring, I wouldn't have answered. It was a strange number. I checked the message. "This message is for Sarah Young. This is Stacy at ... and I would like to schedule an interview." I was in the truck with soldier, and he was a little overwhelmed at my screaming. But I was excited!

Then an email arrived in my inbox. "Hello Sarah. I'm contacting you to schedule a phone interview." I was jumping up and down and doing the happy dance!

By the time you read this, I will have finished both interviews (with two different companies) and school will have started. We will have a lot to talk about over the next couple of weeks!

So grab some coffee and join me here next week!

May the moving gods smile upon you and may only the things that you don't like get broken . . . sby

 

 

The kids are back to school, is it time for you to head back to work?

There are job fairs happening all over the nation this month. The ones listed below are hosted by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Hiring Our Heroes initiative. These fairs are specifically designed and held for military members and their spouses.

Get out there and check them out. The perfect job may be waiting for you!

Don’t forget to click on the link and register. Registration is required.

Aug. 5

North Platte, NE

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/north-platte-ne

 

Gulfport/ Biloxi, MS

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/gulfportbiloxi-ms

 

Aug. 6

Sioux Falls, SD

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/sioux-falls-sd-2

 

Aug. 7

El Paso, Texas

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/el-paso-tx-1

Little Rock, AR

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/little-rock-ar-1

Minneapolis, MN

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/minneapolis-mn-3

Aug. 8

Peoria, IL

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/peoria-il-0

Aug. 9

Marquette, MI

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/marquette-mi

Aug. 12

Fresno, CA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/fresno-ca-1

Fort Bragg, NC

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/fort-bragg-veterans-jobs-summit

Aug. 14

Farmingdale, NY

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/farmingdale-ny-1

Aug. 19

Camp Lejeune, NC

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/camp-lejeune-nc-military-spouse-networking-reception

Aug. 20

Fort Sill, OK

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-sill-ok

Camp Lejeune, NC

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/camp-lejeune-nc-military-spouse-hiring-fair

Aug. 21

Fort Gordon, GA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-gordon-ga

Aug. 26

Charlotte, NC

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/charlotte-nc-transition-and-benefits-career-fair-part-96th-annual-american-legion-national

Fort Polk, LA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-polk-la-military-spouse-networking-reception

Aug. 27

Fort Polk, LA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-polk-la-military-spouse-opportunity-fair

Aug. 28

Kaneohe Bay, HI

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/kaneohe-bay-hi

Tampa, FL

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/tampa-fl-5

 

Congratulations on your promotion. Your superiors selected you over your peers to become the new manager. Navigating this transition into management will be tricky. Having to make that transition and be an effective leader to your former peers will be even trickier. But it's doable.

"It's all in how you handle it," said Emilie Mecklenborg, Recruitment Media Strategist at Alexander Mann Solutions. "Stay grounded and don't let it go to your head."

Instead, step into that role with grace, establish credibility and be the kind of leader every team wants to follow. Here's how:

Recognize that the social dynamics will be different. In the past, when you received recognition, your peers likely celebrated with you. However, now that you are their boss, they may not feel like celebrating. Be graceful by keeping the at-work celebration low-key (or non-existent). And, if you decide to have a celebration outside of work, strongly consider whether you should include your direct reports. As equals, it's no big deal how you socialize, but when you are the boss, lunch, after work drinks and other social interactions take on new meaning.

Set professional boundaries. For example, "Have a conversation about personal and professional relationships. Don't assume everyone already knows how to handle it," said Mecklenborg. "Also, make sure every request is connected to a business goal so there is no misinterpretation and, keep all members abreast of how the team is doing."

Set the working conditions. As soon as possible, schedule a team meeting to review goals and expectations, but make it about them and not you. Reflect on the discussion your boss had with you about the company and department goals and translate them into what it means to the team. Conduct a review of rules, roles, rewards and repercussions and ensure them you will apply them fairly and consistently.

Establish credibility as a manager. Chances are, your team is already aware that you are proficient in the technical skills to do the job. But, what you may have to prove is that you have the credibility to manage. Can you manage workplace relationships fairly and consistently? Can you manage the team workload? Can you make business decisions and not just comply with them? Communicate your decisions clearly and with confidence. Accept feedback and explain how you got there as you see fit, but don't feel the need to justify or change the decisions you make.

Understand leadership.  Leadership has nothing to do with titles or seniority. It is also not the same as management. Leadership is more about modeling behavior, empowering and inspiring others.

"I feel you should empower employees by doing some of the same things they do, but also by delegating", said Mecklenborg. "You can't just say 'You clean while I stand here and watch'. It's better to show how you can divide and conquer by saying 'You clean while I enter payroll," she said.

Mecklenborg believes that at the end of the day, effective leadership is all about respect.

"If you want them to be awesome to you, be awesome to them," she said.

New school year, new opportunities, new writers here at Salute to Spouses!

As you gather your fresh, new school supplies and back them all neatly into your bag for the first day back to class, we have a fresh, new crop of bloggers to accompany you on your back to school journey!

Just like you, these ladies, all military spouses, have tackled homework assignments with newborn babies, balanced late night homework assignments with late night, overtime hours at work and desperately searched for work after a PCS move.

Please help me welcome our new writers and join them on their blogging adventures for Salute to Spouses! Check out their brief biographies below!

Army wife Holly Bates holds an MBA in Human Resources and is conducting her own federal job search after a recent PCS move. With just three years to go before her husband retires, Holly will share best tips and practices for finding a job that you love and preparing for a huge life shift as the joy and difficulties of military retirement loom.

After seven years as a military spouse, and multiple deployments, Mandy Rebmann knows the ins and outs of dealing with military finance and making a household run on the ups and downs of military pay. She also has spent 12 years as a professional in the finance industry. If you’re looking for finance advice and information, Mandy will be delivering it to your inbox every month!

 Moving and deployment can be tough. It can be tougher with a family member who has special educational or medical needs. Army spouse Tiffany Shedd has faced many of these issues as she navigates the military medical system to find care for her son who has been diagnosed with epilepsy. Read her blog to get the latest information on the EFMP program and the inspiration to keep going with the going gets tough. 

When you can’t find a job you love, sometimes, you have to create one! Army wife Lisa Kain turned entrepreneur when she create the patriotic jewelry company, United Grace. Every month she will profile inspiring military spouses who invent, create and lead their own companies all while balancing the exhaustion of deployment, training, PC and the day to day business of running a household.

Welcome ladies! It’s going to be a great fall at Salute to Spouses!

It is the first PCS (summer) season we haven’t moved in the last three years. It is also the first time since we were first married that we have lived off base. Since we live in a “normal” neighborhood (i.e. a mix of retired, active duty and civilians) I didn’t expect to see much change around the neighborhood. But since we returned from a vacation a couple weeks ago, I am surprised by the number of “for rent or for sale” and “annual rental property” signs around our community. It seems like every other house had been emptied by one family and waiting for a new family to move in.  

I hate to admit it, but I do not know a lot of my neighbors. It is a quiet neighborhood-no sidewalks, pool or playgrounds (note to self for next move - closer playgrounds!) There has been a friendly hello or nod as we pass each other, but for the most part, everyone seems to keep to themselves. Most days, I feel like I am the only stay-at-home mom (with toddlers) around my circle, which is a new feeling. When we lived on base, I felt like the demographics were different. Everyone was similar to myself – they were a working spouse or new mom with one or two kids at home. There were always kids at the playground or moms walking or running with strollers. It was easy to make friends. When a family moved, the home was quickly repainted and filled with a new family.

But here in a “real” neighborhood, PCS season isn’t the same. The streets are quiet, there are not many kids riding bikes around or families taking after dinner walks. And the houses are not always quickly filled with a new family. Some of them have been empty for months. Some will be someone’s forever home.  I am not quite sure if we will make new friends this summer. And although we have a good routine here, and good friends in our lives around town, it would still be nice to feel that community vibe while walking around our own neighborhood.

Don’t get me wrong, I have some awesome neighbors! But, I miss the small talk and making stops in every other driveway to catch up with friendly faces. I miss the playmates for my kiddos at the playground, the constant sound of giggles or screams of kids scooting by on bikes and skateboards and fresh baked goods being delivered from another spouse as a welcome to the neighborhood.  

I can’t believe I miss living on base during PCS season. Most times it’s a difficult time of year to say, ‘See ya later’. But I am missing the predictability of one family moving and another arriving, almost immediately. It is always a new chance to make new friends with a possibility of long lasting friendships.  

I am not so sure what to expect in a normal neighborhood from here on out. But you don’t have to be a military family to have common courtesy or make new friends. Neighbors - military or not - are always going to be there, living on base or off. So this year, I will have my friendliest military spouse face on with store bought cookies (baking is just not my thing, as we have learned!) and hope to make some new friends in our neighborhood.

Do you find that when it comes time to PCS, it seems like there are no less than a million decisions to be made? I know I do!

Do you or your husband travel ahead while the other stays behind or do you go together?

Do you take the kids out of school to move or wait until the break?

How much stuff do you take in your personally owned vehicle?

Do It Yourself or Army move?

And my favorite, should we live on post or off post?

Early on in my life as an Army wife, that decision, for us, was purely driven by waitlist time. I remember sweet soldier calling the Ft. Huachuca, AZ housing office as soon as we signed out of Ft. Benning, GA, and I remember them telling him on Friday that if we could be there by Monday morning, we would have a house! You bet we made it!

Now that our children are older, deciding whether to live on post or off is a much more important decision. They are going into the sixth, fourth and second grades. We have all ends of the learning curve in our home. So at this point, school is what drives our decision on where to live.

As parents, we do all of the research that we can. We take to social media, which I think has revolutionized this process, to ask our friends and our friends’ friends and even strangers what they think about the schools in the area of the new duty station.

Sweet boy is going into the sixth grade, and that is such a pivotal time in a child’s life. I had been really stressed out about moving because I wanted him to experience this transition with his friends. That was not to be, and here we are.

My parents always taught me that if I wanted something, to talk about it, to anyone and everyone that would listen. So, I began talking to people, starting with the school Military Family Life Consultant. The MFLC is basically a school counselor who specializes in issues specific to military life. Our MFLC at our last school had friends in the area of the new duty station, and cautioned me about sending sweet boy to middle school there. We found out where the best schools in the area are and we decided to buy a house. On a side note, it is really difficult to find a rental when you have a 75-pound dog.

So the decision is made and the off post home is bought.

I went to register the kids for school and on the spot, the district ushered me into the office of the special education department. One moment, I was sitting in the lobby filling out paperwork in triplicate and the next moment I was sitting across the desk from the head of the special education department in our new county. But honestly, that is why I try my best to stay well versed in little sweet boy’s education plan. I walked away that day with a very good feeling about the SpEd department and our new school district. 

Then, the other day, my phone rang. It was the guidance counselor from the middle school. She had been looking though sweet boy’s cumulative folder and discovered that he needed to be in accelerated math. I didn’t have to call her. She called me! I went to visit with her and discuss the options for sweet boy, and I walked away from that meeting feeling much more comfortable with the transition that is happening.

For the first time, I think, in the six moves we have made, I am convinced that we have unequivocally made the correct decision for our family.

So for all of the disaster that has been this move to Ft. Gordon, GA, the silver lining is the amazing school district! I can’t wait for school to start!

 

May the moving gods smile upon you and may only the things that you don’t like get broken . . . sby

I read a terrifying study a few weeks back. It determined that babies born at military hospitals were twice as likely to be injured during delivery.

In my tiny Navy town, this news brought about quite the brouhaha.

The closest military hospital to us is almost an hour away and well beloved by many. It’s certified as “baby-friendly,” meaning, it is a more natural, infant-centered practice than a mainstream hospital.

And the military moms who make the drive to deliver there love it.

Though our local hospital, staffed by civilian obstetricians and nurse-midwives, is also quite popular, the closest military hospital holds quite the allure for many pregnant moms who want their birth completely covered by Tricare, with some options.

So, when that startling statistic was released, people did get up in arms a bit.

And then, the war stories started rolling in.

Someone, knew someone, who had a friend, who had a niece who died during a Pap smear exam at the military hospital.

And, someone, knew someone, who had a sister, who had a son who went in for a routine round of antibiotics and ended up with a lopped off leg.

And before you knew it, people were terrified of military doctors.

It’s ironic, really, that I care. I intentionally keep my kids on Tricare Standard so I can choose their pediatrician, and I have delivered both my children out of a hospital – military or otherwise – and paid a tiny co-pay, so I could choose who caught my girls when they were born.

That’s my choice, and I’m glad I have it.

But if I didn’t have that choice, and the military hospital was my closest, “baby-friendly” option, would I be concerned?

I thought about this long and hard. While we aren’t ready for baby number three yet, we have started talking about it. And where we would deliver him or her? And how much it could cost us? And if my husband will be home? And if he’s not, who will be there? 

You know, the normal, military-family conception chat.

And while I had considered the military hospital as a viable option prior, what with all the amazing birth stories I’d heard coming out of it as of late, I was wondering if I should reconsider.

First off, I do understand that military doctors aren’t competing for patients like civilians are. They don’t have to give you as much leeway, and they aren’t always known for being as accountable to the patient since they work in a military system.

But at the same time, it’s an option. It’s a free, affordable option. This particular military hospital has low intervention rates, a low C-section rate and is known for supporting natural birth and the mother’s choice. It’s clean, and, it’s safe.

Heck, in that recent study that scared the pants off everyone else, it might just be the outlier.

It’s hard to know what to think. We’ve all heard horror stories, but we’ve also heard good ones, too. 

Perhaps it depends on the patient. Or the particular doctor.  Or the hospital you’re using. 

Maybe it isn’t a military issue at all.

But it’s still a scary decision. And it’s a decision I’m unsure I’m prepared to make at this time.

So, for now, maybe we’ll just stick with two kids.

Elizabeth Jamison has taken the bar exam twice in two different states. And now, she’s preparing to take it again, in a third state. Each time, she has aced it.

Three bar exams? The extra pressure, study time and cost – crazy you say? It’s the life of a dedicated military spouse who is also a dedicated attorney.

Jamison, a Navy wife and the communications director of Military Spouse JD Network (www.msjdn.com) is just one of the 41 percent of its members who have taken two or more bar exams, usually due to the demands of the military lifestyles.

MSJDN was founded to advocate for military spouses who want to maintain their legal careers in spite of the challenges that frequent military relocations present. Many of these spouses have student loan balances of more than $80,000 and have families to care for, on top of juggling the duties of being a military spouse.

Since attorneys are required to be licensed in the state in which they practice, the time and cost to become licensed in a new state is an uphill battle every two or three years. Recent legislation has allowed many licensed occupations to have reciprocity in different states to accommodate their military moves - but not attorneys.

The highest court in each state governs their licenses, meaning they have to retest every time they PCS. MSJDN is currently working with states to make accommodations for military spouses and has succeeded in nine states.

 “Our primary goal is to get these rule changes into effect so that military families can stay together and military spouses can support their families,” Jamison said. “We’re working with each state to address their concerns and the rules in each state reflect the needs of that legal community. For example, some states that have enacted rules allow spouses to become members of that state’s bar permanently, while others permit it for the length of the service member’s orders.”

MSJDN also has an extensive membership of about 1,000 military spouses. The network provides resources for networking, support and job postings. The postings also include non-licensed legal jobs as well. A 

“We have so many people say they thought they were the only military spouse trying to pursue a legal career and they are so happy to find our group with like-minded spouses. It’s a very active group and a fantastic perk for those who join MSJDN,” Jamison said.

MSJDN has also partnered with In Gear Career to co-host the program, Homefront Rising, and provide non-partisan political action training to military spouses. This program encourages military spouses to become active in the political process and teaches the entire spectrum of political involvement from the local school board to state-wide Senate races.

MSJDN also assists military families with their pro bono program, Justice for Military Families. Partnering with TAPS, (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors), and funded by Newman’s Own Foundation, this program not only provides a way for military spouse attorneys to stay current on the law while serving their community, but connects military family survivors with pro bono legal help as they navigate the often difficult legal challenges that may arise after a military member is killed in action.

 “We’re really proud of Justice for Military Families,” Jamison said. “It allows military spouse attorneys to use their talents for the benefit of the military community and fills the justice gap for these families in need of legal assistance.”

MSJDN is currently working on providing continuing education through their website, as well.

Maintaining a legal career as a military spouse can be difficult and expensive, but MSJDN provides a wealth of information and support to help connect spouses and continue to do the work they love, all while navigating the demands of the military lifestyle.

I got nothing.

Ever go to work, school, extracurricular activities, heck, even visits with friends and think, yep, I am just a giant blob of unproductive exhaustion.

Military spouses tend to fly through their days at 150 miles per hour, tending to house, kids, husband, school, job and all the little tasks each of those items requires. Eventually, you try to slow down but a body in motion, well, it stays in motion. And when it stops, everything flying at warp speed behind it, keeps going.

Until it crashes into you. Leaving you in a heap of to do lists, unfinished class projects, piles of summer camp laundry, school supplies to label and boxes that still have not been unpacked from your PCS – last year.

You know it is all sitting there. You know it isn’t going away. But still, you just can’t.

Motivation and even any care you had to finish it, is gone.

Ya got nothing.

It’s ok. We get it. It’s that time of year, when summer boredom kicks in for the kids, summer frustration sets in for you as you try to entertain them and still get things done, PCS is either over or dragging out just too long and the start of school is right around the corner. Hooray for school! Only after all the shopping, labeling, arguing over dress codes and paying for books, labs and sports gear has faded into memory.

It’s ok. Take a day. Collapse onto the couch and watch a day’s worth of mindless, recorded television while the kids scream and make a giant mess.

Then tomorrow, get back up and tackle it all, piece by piece. Because, you got something.

You’re talented, smart and ready to take on the world. You just needed a moment to mourn how little you thought you had in order to see how much you are.

You’ve got everything. Now, make the most of it. 

I know a lot of things. 

Seriously. Like, a lot of things. I know how to make lasagna without a recipe, how to tile a bathroom floor and how to be in a tactical aircraft landing without puking. My knowledge is pretty diverse, to be honest.

Recently, however, I found out that there was something about which I was absolutely ignorant: I had no idea how to graduate from college. 

Don’t get me wrong . . . I understand the cap-gown-walk-handshake-smile procedure. That part is not difficult. Neither was showing my ID at the student store to pick up my cap and gown, which I managed to time during book buyback, and not standing in that line from hell gave me an extra sense of glee.  

The cards that the school mailed gave a pretty detailed set of instructions, which made things much easier. Logistically, things were very easy to navigate. Emotionally, however, well, that is a different story. A good friend of mine looked at the recyclable, gorgeous blue tent and hat set that I was to wear, and asked what I was going to do with my mortar board. My super educated and classy response was something along the lines of “what the hell is that?”

To make a long story slightly shorter, I learned the following things about graduating community college:

1.  Figure out where you are supposed to line up before you do anything else. How do I know this?  Because at the last second, I looked like a really confused maniac trying to find my spot.
2. Wear comfortable shoes. I know many of us may be tempted to wear super cute heels. Don’t do that. I promise. The accordion-style walk to and from the auditorium and across the stage can be full of obstacles designed to take you down. This is your day! Don’t eat it while reaching for the fake diploma. Remember, they just read your name and major, so everyone there has the opportunity to YouTube your demise.
3. Take pictures! You may feel silly at the time, but you’ll want them later and so will your family.
4. Try to sneak in a Red Bull. Or two. Because that ceremony not only lasts approximately forever, indoor venues get ridiculously hot, particularly when you’re wearing the recyclable tent and sitting shoulder to shoulder with some sweaty stranger.

Number five is possibly the most important tip of all:

   5.  Do not comment in a loud and amazed manner that all of the professors are dressed like they work at Hogwarts. 

So, all you graduating spouses out there, CONGRATULATIONS!  You earned it, now go rock your recyclable gown and mortar board!