Currently, I am stirring cookie batter for tomorrow’s school bake sale, rocking my one-month old, writing this story and somewhere in the back of my head I am calculating how much my overspending at the commissary this morning is going to mess with this month’s budget.
It is 11:39 at night.
My husband headed to bed about an hour ago after loading his gear into his truck and then letting the dog out to go to the bathroom.
Am I happy? No. Not because it’s almost midnight and I’m still working. Not because I know as soon as I set this baby down to run to the restroom, she’ll start screeching again and I’ll have to breastfeed her while typing (a difficult task to master I assure you). Not because I somehow managed to melt the chocolate all over the inside of the baggies long after the cookies cooled. But because I’m doing all this at once while my husband stood at the backdoor to take the dog out … while doing absolutely nothing else.
Seems I’m not the only one a little miffed by my mate’s inability, or unwillingness, to multitask.
MSNBC.com reports that a recent study published in the American Sociological Review shows how working moms not only multitask more frequently than working dads but also experience more negative emotions because of the added chores.
Umm, duh.
I can’t be the only one who saw that coming - all while loading the dishwasher and stopping my 4-year-old from batting his baby sister over the head with a Star Wars light saber. Did I mention I was reading the story on my IPad while downloading music and searching for an app that would keep track of the recipes I keep losing?
The news site says the study collected data from 1999 to 2000 in eight cities to learn how middle-class families balance family and work obligations.
Researchers found that working moms spend 48.3 hours per week, or 40 percent of their waking hours, multitasking. Dads spend 38.9 hours per week doing two or more things at once.
The moms were found doing the labor intensive housework or childcare duties while dads multitask by talking to several people at once, performing self-care or recreational activities.
The study also said many moms find multitasking to be stressful, mostly because of the types of activities they have to take on at once, and often, in public – tasks like disciplining children that can leave them open to scrutiny and judgment.
So, when my husband clips his toenails, while watching football and talking to his brother on the phone about the game, he is considered a multitasking genius?
Meanwhile, an hour after witnessing my husband’s multitasking prowess, I was at the commissary with three kids in tow, stopped on the bread aisle where I had my 4-year-old in a time-out with his nose pressed up against a row of canned black olives while I was digging in my purse for a long lost sippy cup for my whining toddler and my third grader was quizzing me on who I thought would win in a battle to the death, a squad of x-wing fighters or the actual death star. I did all this while trying to ignore the chuckles of passersby. I still haven’t figured out whom to put my money on in that galactic showdown.
I am betting that anyone who saw that hot mess on aisle nine didn’t consider me a multitasking genius but rather a mom in the middle of a meltdown.
So, how do we fix the unfairly divided household tasks? The authors of the study suggest getting dad more involved - doing things together as a family.
Ok. I had to try it. I drug my husband and all five kids to the commissary the next day. This time the 4-year-old was in time-out on the paper towel aisle, both babies were crying, my third grader was now questioning me about the merits of the different Jedi knights, my second grader was begging for a pet parakeet and I was juggling a conversation with a mom from our scout troop who I happened upon while trying to load a giant bag of dog food into the cart. My husband, meanwhile, was oblivious to the entire scene as he scanned the meats for the tastiest looking steaks.
When he finally turned and still seemed unfazed by the chaos unfolding around him I shot him a nasty glance. “What?” he said, still concentrating on his steak choice.
My husband: not a multitasking genius. Never has been. Never will be. But for all my hard work that day, I had a mighty tasty steak that night. And though he may not get a lot done every day, I have never and will never have to take the dog out. Some tasks are worth the trade.
