Being a student is full-time work. It is not gritty or grimy, but it certainly is grueling and intense. I don’t know about you, but there are times that I feel resentful. We pay a huge amount of money to work so hard. Although it isn’t harmful to wallow for a bit, eventually . . . well, if we’re not part of the solution, we’re part of the problem, right? 

So what can we do to bring in a little dough to offset these mounting college expenses? 

We have talked about selling back textbooks, which can be a huge help. Unfortunately, that opportunity comes only at the end of the semester. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have to buy the darn things in the first place! 

I’ve found two options that have been beneficial to me, both monetarily and academically.

First, is tutoring. I’m not necessarily talking about peers, or even people slightly below my academic level. I’m talking about kids. Many parents are in search of people capable of connecting with and teaching their child. These students may struggle in subject that the parents are comfortable teaching or do not have time to give the child the daily, one-on-one attention. Or, the student may simply need a fresh approach to a subject with someone other than mom and dad. 

Not sure how to start? Go to the website, www.WyzAnt.com. You can set up a profile, set your hourly rate and cancellation policy. There are short quizzes to confirm your knowledge in the areas you list as strengths and parents have the ability to purchase a background check on you. While the background check may seem a bit intense, simply giving parents that option provides them with some security. To my knowledge, no one has ever used the option, but I’m willing to bet that they are glad it is there. 

When using a service like WyzAnt, read the terms thoroughly, as the site owners will often take a large percentage of your hourly rate as payment for the use of their service.

The other option that has been beneficial to me is offering services as a freelance editor for students. As people enter various graduate fields, they often have to complete thesis papers or capstone projects, for which editing is a necessity. A contract can be written up or purchased, and rates can be set by either mutual agreement, or using a resource like the Editorial Freelancers Association. 

Neither of these things build a customer base or a pile of money overnight, but they are also not elusive, and are worth looking into. At the end of the day, these things are not a replacement for a full-time job. They will, however, pick up the tab for lunch or a mani once in a while. And let’s be real, who needs a manicure more than someone who stares at their typing hands for hours on end? 

Ten lucky Salute to Spouses readers have the opportunity to get a free, one-year membership to www.momcorps.com

This award-winning, career development firm gives its members access to expert career advice, industry pros and the most up to the minute information on what is trending in the business world. And now, it can all be yours.

Salute To Spouses and Mom Corps, announced a new partnership last month in honor of Military Spouse Day. Mom Corps shares our commitment to support military spouses as they grow their career and educational goals.

Mom Corps was created and is led by an Army spouse who experienced the challenges of re-entering the workforce after each PCS. Now, her program gathers experts, advice and resources into one online community where women can find help in meeting their career goals.

When you join the site you will have access to career experts who deliver training in the areas of job search, workplace flexibility and business ownership. Members can also use the Mom Corps community to network with other professionals.

In honor of all the hard work spouses do all year long, Mom Corps is giving away 10, free, one-year memberships to fans of Salute to Spouses. This is a $99.99 value!  Deadline to apply is July 10. Apply today!

To apply, visit http://www.momcorps.com/blog/blog/2014/05/08/salute-to-spouses-partners-with-mom-corps-to-support-military-spouses

Are you in the middle of a PCS?

Are you stressed? Tired? Screaming at your spouse, your kids and anyone who asks if you're done yet?

Stop. Walk away. Take a mini-vacation if you can.

You heard me. Walk. A. Way.

When we PCS'd to Hawaii four years ago I was seven months pregnant, our three kids were driving us crazy as we tried to clean and prep our house for a renter as well as ship our household goods across the Pacific and wrap up our lives here. I was the local day camp director, we both were volunteers at another camp and barely a box had been packed. It was chaos.

So, I booked a four day trip to the beach.

My husband was beyond mad.

We have stuff to do. There are things in the house that need repaired. We have to finish packing. He fired off a very long list of excuses to prove to me that leaving the vicinity was a very bad idea.

Too bad. It was paid for.

So we left.

Best. Decision. Ever.

We escaped to the North Carolina Outer Banks. Not just the coast, but the outer islands to which we had to have a ferry carry us, our gear and our vehicle. There was no concierge, no hotel pool, no restaurants or phone service. Just us, a teeny, tiny cabin placed squarely on the beach, at the edge of the nation's east coast. There was hardly a soul there.

It was heaven.

We couldn't control what was happening back at our regular lives if we wanted to. No internet, no phone. We were stuck playing on a completely empty, beautiful beach.

We came back to a mess. But suddenly, it was ok. The stress was gone. We were recharged and ready to tackle it. The next two weeks of work were less difficult and less taxing.

Leaving for several days may not be possible. But get out as much as you can. Sit at the local coffee shop and have a coffee or an ice cream. Take your kids to the park. Walk away from the boxes and cleaning.

You will feel better.

Rookie military wife mistake. I am afraid to type it because I do not want to jinx myself and the troubles that may come because of it.

My husband is away, training - out of the country. And we have no (wincing in shame) power of attorney. Nothing. Not only do I not have a POA but he has no will. We own a home and have children and we have absolutely nothing documented to take care of our family.

And everything is in my husband's name. In my head I can hear my mother reprimanding me.  

The worst part? I know better. I've been through two deployments. I've dealt and fought with the cable companies and the banks. I know all too well that even though we are married, if the paperwork in his name, they can't help me without that very important piece of paper, without the POA.

But now, we have kids. This is a bigger deal than just trying to cancel our cable.

Military families are forced to have conversations that aren't always comfortable for many people. Not because we want to, but because it's our reality. Tragedies and accidents happen every single day. We have to be prepared for every type of situation - good or bad.
I would much rather know my husband's wishes for his family and have a tough conversation now instead of spending the rest of my life not knowing what he wanted for us in the unfortunate event that something ever happened to him. It's terrifying and dramatic and makes me nervous and sick to just thinking about it, but, it's our reality. This stuff happens and you have to prepare for it.

For a deployment, this extremely important, notarized document is mandatory. We are out of the combat billet right now but my husband has been traveling quite a bit. Back in February we realized we needed to meet with legal and square away all the necessary paperwork that would allow me to make decisions in my husband's absence.
This single bit of paperwork would tell authorities who would care for our children if something happened to me while my husband was away or vice versa. But here we are, four months later, he is gone and we have no paperwork.  
Ugh. The worst part? I know better! I advise Marines and their spouses to take care of this. And yet, my husband and I are guilty.

So for now, I am going to keep us all in a safe, little bubble. That should be easy, right?

Please, don't learn this lesson the hard way. Have the tough talks, make the appointments. Drag your kids there if you have to and give them whatever you need to and get the paperwork done.
This paperwork is a pain but it is important. And if disaster strikes, and you are caught without it, your days will be much longer and tougher than dragging the kids to a meeting with legal.
Don't learn the hard way. Get a POA.

"It costs nothing to have a little faith, so when times get tough, we might as well give it a try."

So to me, a Permanent Change of Station can be looked at a lot like a deployment. No matter how many you have under your belt, the next one will be different. It may be more difficult. It may be easier. But it will certainly be different.

For me, this move will go down in the Young family's military history as the worst move ever.

When people ask me, "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" I always choose the bad news first. So let's talk about yesterday.  

The boys and I had all gone to bed late Monday night, so we were a little late getting started Tuesday morning. But the dog had to go to doggie daycare and we had to be back in time to meet the movers.  

We made it back to the house with a little time to spare, and the movers showed up on time. Everything seemed to be going well, and then I heard, "Mrs. Young..." .

The driver bellowed my name, and then the other boot fell. The driver informed me that the customer who they picked up before us had been grossly underestimated, so our shipment of household goods would have to be split into two shipments.

Not my favorite thing to hear, but it could be a lot worse, right? I thought that maybe our first shipment would show up on Monday and the next shipment might show up on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Um. No. They took the important stuff on our first shipment, beds, clothes, kitchen, kitchen table and chairs, one living room set, and television. Everything else is going into storage until there is a driver to bring it to us.

I kept thinking, "This could be worse. It really could be worse. This happens to people every day."

Then, it got worse.

The boys and I had dropped off some trash and we were headed into town to pick up the dog. I will fully admit to you that I was driving distracted. We are moving. Sweet soldier and sweet girl have gone ahead to the new location. And we are trying to close on a house.

My phone buzzed and I looked down. When I looked back up, I was face to face with a red Dodge Ram tailgate. Everyone was ok (thank you, Chevrolet!), but that really puts a wrinkle in my life.
So now, the items that I have load planned for a Chevy Suburban, which include a 75-pound dog and his crate, all have to fit in a Dodge Journey. Comparatively speaking, the journey is about half the size of my suburban.

But the good news is that as I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room somewhere in Illinois, having cleared housing on the first try and already driven eight hours. The dog barked all night, but I am watching my two sweet boys sleep as I wait for the first taste of coffee to soothe my soul.

This journey is difficult, but this morning, I showered, put on my Tough Mudder Finisher tshirt, brushed my teeth with my son's toothbrush and know that I will reach my new life, at our new station, today.

My will to reach the finish line well surpasses my frustration with my current situation, and by the time I go to sleep tonight, I will be in my home state in my new house.

Just a Note:
I have to say thank you to all of my neighbors and friends who rallied around us to help when the accident happened. You were there to pick up the boys and offer rides. You asked if we needed help, you jumped in and helped. A sincere thank you to my friends, Alison and her husband, Joey, Cris and her husband, Dave, Leslie and her husband, Mark, and Stacy and her daughter, Cameron. You guys are why they call it an "Army Family"! My sincerest thanks for everything!

May the moving gods smile upon you and may only the junk that you don't like get broken...SBY

It’s hard to explain just how bad a week can be during deployment.

Granted, all it takes is a look or a simple exchange of a few words between military spouses for each other to understand.

But, when you’re trying to explain it to someone married to a math teacher, an accountant or car salesperson, well, it just doesn’t compute.

During one deployment, after a particularly gnarly week, I had finally returned a phone call to a friend whose husband works in construction. I was weeks late; we’d played phone tag forever and I knew she was a bit miffed at my lack of attention.

I tried to explain. I stumbled and bumbled up my words, and I knew she wasn’t buying it.  

So, finally, I said it.

“Seriously, I have had so little time that I haven’t showered in over a week!”

There was a rather pregnant pause in the air.

I assumed, at that point, she was probably infinitely judging me or trying to smell me through the phone.

And then, she gasped. And loudly offered to hop on a plane and come help me because after all, “Everyone deserves to shower once in a while!”

We had a good laugh after that. I assured her I was fine, and that sometimes, when you’re alone with this parenting/working/homefront gig, you have a rare bad week, and you’re lucky if you eat more than the crust of your kid’s PB&J sandwich once every few days.

In fact, those weeks, you’re lucky to get a semi-regular shower, even if we don’t want to admit to that.

Later, as I told the story to my fellow military spouses, they all nodded excitedly in agreement.  

No need to be embarrassed. It seems to happen to the best of us, I guess.

In fact, it’s so prevalent that, among my group of military-wife friends, it is now the barometer by which all hard weeks are measured.

“How often have you showered?” I’ll jokingly ask a friend at my daughter’s pre-school who looks like she hasn’t slept all week.

On a text-message chain about a Friday playdate, several of us warned that it had been “one of those weeks,” and we hadn’t showered in a few days. We then reached the consensus that someone better bring wine.

Granted, some of it is exaggerated, tongue-in-cheek sort of fun. Just relating to each other and remembering that we aren’t alone in the chaos that is running a deployment household.

But we also know that, sometimes, it’s also true. That there is too much to do and too many places to go and too many people who need taking care of. And before you know it, you’re taking a “sponge bath” at night before bed and applying an extra layer of deodorant in the morning.

Not my proudest moments, but they’ve happened.

Luckily, not every week is like that. Most of the time, I can bathe regularly, as well as handle life as a military wife.

And when I can’t? When it’s been one of those weeks?

I splash on some extra perfume, and call it a win.

Just when you think you are ahead of the game as you plan your next career move to match your next military household move, you are suddenly reminded that military life is always full of surprises. And most of the time it starts with the phrase, ‘Honey, guess what?’

When Air Force wife Cachet Prescott, PHR, learned she and her husband were supposed to PCS in two months she prepared her letter of resignation and planned to submit it within the standard 30 days so her supervisor would have plenty of time to prepare. And she did. But the day she delivered the news to her boss, her husband called almost as soon as she returned to her desk.

“Honey, guess what?” he said. The move would be in two weeks, instead of in two months.

“It was Tuesday and I had to figure out how to tell my boss that my last day was Friday,” said Prescott, a career coach and brand strategist. “When I went back into her office, all I could do was be honest. There was nothing I could do to change anything about the situation.”

As a military spouse, Prescott makes it a point to always expect the unexpected and to be as prepared as possible for sudden change because she knows it will happen, sooner or later. At work, this preparation includes a minimum of four goals.

1. Give advanced notice

Aim to give your employer a 30-day notice whenever it is feasible. Granted, Prescott still only ended up being able to three days’ notice, but if she had not been prepared by writing the letter as soon as she found out they were moving, she and her employer may have had to operate in crisis mode. And in a crisis situation there could have been a lot of bad feelings, negativity and damage to her professional reputation - all of which may have robbed her from a positive letter of reference and future networking potential.

2. Leave on a good note

No matter what the circumstances are of the job or your departure, don't tell the boss to take this job and shove it.

“I once loved a job, but couldn't stand my supervisor," Prescott said. “I really wanted to just say 'good riddance,' but I was still a faithful and good employee toward her because it was my reputation on the line.”

Prescott didn't let her employer's response to the last minute resignation and departure circumstances affect her professionalism either.

“My boss asked if I could let my family go ahead of me and I move later to give them more time to prepare at work,” Prescott said. “I reminded her that I had initially given 30-days’ notice instead of the acceptable two-week notice and that she knew my character was such that I would never have put her in a bind if it was within my control.”

3. Start a continuity binder

As easy as it would be to drop everything and walk (or run) away from a job when you have a thousand things to do to prepare for your move, leave the job better than it was when you arrived. Create a continuity binder if there isn't one. Or, if one does exist, update it as much as possible before you leave.

 “I know what it's like not to have any idea what needs to be done when you get to a new job. Be kind enough to leave a binder that provides direction, contacts and even simple screen shots,” Prescott said. “I have had my successors call and thank me for doing such a good job.”

4. Don't be emotional

Sometimes, even when you do your due diligence to provide advanced notice, leave on a good note and prepare a continuity binder, employers and fellow employees still may not treat you well and may be negative about your departure. Don't get emotional.

“Never let them see you sweat and don't cry at work. Have your 'moment' at home. Then, put on your game face and get through the day,” said Prescott.  “It's your time to countdown.”

Ever feel like your life as a mom has no right to mingle with your professional career? Like you are constantly choosing between two lives?

Meet a CEO and a military spouse who thinks that talented, professional women cannot only be great moms and talented employees, but who has also built an organization to help working moms find flexible work in their field without sacrificing the needs of their families.

Allison Karl O’Kelly is an award winning entrepreneur and the CEO and founder of Mom Corps. Her business is simple, to place talented professionals in flexible positions in companies across the country. And it has worked. Mom Corps has been recognized for helping to change the face of the business world as moms, and dads, work toward finding a balance between work and home.

Recently, Mom Corps has reached out to military spouses across the globe to help them be successful in their professional endeavors, regardless of where the military sends them.

Salute to Spouses had a chance to speak with Allison about the challenges military spouses face as they build their careers.

STS: Are you still an active duty spouse?

Allison: “No.”

STS: Did you start your company while your spouse was on active duty? If so, how did you balance building a company and managing a military life with PCS moves and future uncertainty?

Allison: “I didn’t marry my husband until after his service, but managing work and life is a struggle all parents share. That’s why I started Mom Corps and Mom Corps YOU – to help professionals find meaningful work that integrates with the rest of their lives.”

STS: Some studies and websites suggest military spouses have a more difficult time finding employment simply because of their military status. Do you find this to be true?

Allison: “The military spouses I’ve met definitely face challenges the civilian population does not encounter as often. Frequent relocation makes it hard for military spouses to hold a position for a lengthy period of time, and the frequent travel of their partners often means they may require some level of flexibility in their jobs. Because of these challenges, military spouses often accept positions below their qualification levels or don’t work at all. In fact, 90 percent of female spouses report being underemployed, earn 38 percent less than their civilian counterparts, and are 30 percent more likely to be unemployed.”

STS: What is the most useful skill you learned as a military spouse that has helped you as an entrepreneur?

Allison: “Flexibility. In the service, you have to be flexible in terms of order and location, and priorities can change with a change in leadership. As an entrepreneur, remaining flexible has allowed me to quickly shift my business when I see areas of success and opportunity.”

STS: What is the most difficult challenge a military spouse entrepreneur may face?

Allison: “Frequent relocation can make building a base difficult – entrepreneurs often get started through referrals from friends and family. But with today’s technologies, there is no better time to be a military spouse entrepreneur. Social media can help you stay connected to referral sources; tools like GoDaddy and wix.com make building a website easy, and document sharing systems and web conferencing tools allow you to stay connected to a virtual team.”

STS: When spouses look at your amazing business they see a thriving, corporate success. But entrepreneurs start small, correct? What is the first step for a would-be entrepreneur?

Allison: “The first step really is to trust yourself and make the leap. I can give you lots of tips like not giving away equity too early, not hiring too fast, etc., but to even get to that point, you have to take a chance and go for it!”

STS: In last year's Philadelphia Business Journal CEO profile, you say the workforce wants flexibility. What type of flexibility? And even though flexibility may be what the workforce wants, are you finding that businesses are able to offer it?

Allison: “Flexibility means different things to different people. At Mom Corps, we talk about flexibility in terms of time, place and duration. Time may mean modified hours, a condensed work week or part time; place may mean no travel, working virtually or even just a short commute, and duration may mean permanent, contract or seasonal work. Modern technology has made it possible for both part-time and full-time workers at all professional levels to have flexibility while performing their jobs efficiently.”

“Employers are realizing many benefits by offering a flexible workplace, including improving recruitment efforts, retaining quality employees and saving money.  In fact, Mom Corps’ annual workplace flexibility study found that 45 percent of workers would be willing to give up some percentage of their salaries in exchange for greater flexibility at work.”

STS: Mom Corps is doing a lot of outreach to military spouses this year. Why have you decided to reach out specifically to these women?

Allison: “Earlier this year, we launched Mom Corps YOU, an online community dedicated to helping professionals achieve work-life satisfaction. After speaking with some employers about their efforts to recruit military personnel and their spouses, we realized that the job search and return-to-work tools we offer through Mom Corps YOU are uniquely positioned to help military spouses find meaningful, yet flexible, careers. We’re partnering with corporations looking to employ our military personnel and their spouses, as well as organizations that support them, to provide scholarships for one-year Mom Corps YOU memberships. Through this program, we are hoping to help military spouses re-enter the workforce, navigate their career paths and become fruitful financial contributors to their families.”

During my husband’s last deployment, we went through some massive changes. The biggest was in October when we finally got the call we’d been waiting two years for – we had a baby girl to foster.  Now, eight months later, here we are, still fostering her, still buying an insane amount of hair bows.

But we’re also staring a PCS in the face four months from now. This isn’t just any PCS, it’s supposed to be our last, back to my home of record, where we’ll retire. We’ve been begging for this assignment for years, and now that we’re on orders, well, I’m terrified. Though we’ve had this little one for eight months, her future is anything but decided.

A question I often get as a foster parent, is whether military families are even allowed to foster. We’re living proof that we are. In fact, other than our slightly nomadic nature, I think military families are ideal foster parents. We have guaranteed, steady income, strong spouses who know how to adapt to change, and sturdy support networks around us that we’ve built through deployments.

But it’s this PCS thing that kicks us in the butt. I won’t lie, we’ve never been in this for fostering, but for adoption. So the first thought both my husband and I had when he received his RFO, was “We’re not leaving her.” It was the hardest, and easiest decision we’ve ever made.

We’re so often split apart due to deployments, trainings and schools, that it’s almost unfathomable to consider living separately by choice, especially when we have no clue how long it will take, or if she’ll inevitably come with us. We sat the boys down and asked them their thoughts.  After all, she was just a tiny snippet of a baby when she came to us, and eight months later, she is as much their sister as blood could be.

We explained that Daddy would move to Colorado, and we would stay behind here until their sister was clear to come with us, or not. We pointed out that there was a chance she wouldn’t be able to come at all, that maybe she’d live with her biological family. They unanimously said they’d take the chance, and stay here, just for the chance to keep their sister. I’ve never been more proud of our little men, nor have I ever doubted my parenting more than at that moment, asking them to give up so much.

The thing about foster parenting as a military family is that we have two huge factors in our life over which we have no control. Good thing we’ve learned to bend instead of break. I think, as a parent, foster or biological, we make sacrifices for our children. We think of them first in all things, because they are what matters. In this case, I wouldn’t abandon any of my boys here if they legally couldn’t move with us, and I won’t leave her either.

So, now comes the hard part: putting our money where our mouth is. Selling our house and moving into a rental so we’re ready to go whenever she is … or isn’t. Now we prep for every inevitable scenario, because we’re learning that as much as nothing is certain in the army, that’s even more true in foster care.

We’re preparing to separate our family in order to keep our family. It’s complicated, and yet so simple when I really think about it. We knew this was a possibility when we went through the screening process to be foster parents, so just like Jason’s army career, we hang on and wait for news.

Besides, what fun would a PCS move be if you didn’t have giant hurdles to leap?

Editor's Note: Please help me welcome back columnist Sarah Young as she allows us to tag along on her PCS adventures this summer. Welcome back Sarah!

When we met, I was an Army wife embarking on her fifth deployment. When we said, "See you later," I promised that I would stop by again, maybe during a Permanent Change of Station (PCS). Well, here I am, and I am so excited to see you and share another adventure!

As I write this, I am planning Team Young's sixth (yes, you read that correctly) PCS, and we are really excited about this one. I hold in my hand, sweet soldier's orders to Fort Gordon, Georgia, and for those of you who don't know, that is only four hours from my hometown of Columbus, Georgia. This will be the closest I have been to my home since 2003.

When sweet soldier gave me the good news over the phone in the best southern accent he could muster, he said, "You call your mama and tell her that you're comin' home!"

It was an exciting moment! I couldn't believe it finally happened. After 12 years of being married to this Army and having been all over this country, we are finally being given both of our first choices all wrapped up in one nice little duty station.

So sweet soldier has been home for well over a year now, and I find myself tapping my watch and saying, "Aren't we on the patch chart? Don't you have someplace to go? Is there at least a TDY or field exercise coming?" Within our branch and units, that answer is a resounding, no. The interesting thing is that I find myself tapping my watch at about the two year mark at any duty station and saying, "Isn't it time to go? What's on your list of potential jobs?"

So then I started thinking. When does the PCS really begin?

For most normal military families, including mine, the PCS usually begins when you receive your orders. Makes sense, right? We don't get too excited when our branch gives us a list of potential duty stations and jobs. We may not get what we want. If we get what we want, then what if our orders are rescinded? What if there are no services for my exceptional family member? Then orders come through, but sometimes they still get changed.

So no matter what happens, in most cases, the PCS begins with orders sending sweet soldier to a new duty station.

Not this time.

This time, my PCS began when I stood in my kitchen and for the first time ever, I shook my fists in the air and shouted to sweet soldier and mother Army, "I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!"

It was then that mother Army smiled down upon me as if to say, 'Yes, my child. Because you have endured five deployments, four tattoos, three kids, two wars and, well, Kansas, I will give you the desire of your heart." It was a shining moment for me, and I am truly excited to once again share my adventure with you!

So, for the next few months, we are going to talk about moving halfway across the continent with the soldier, three kids, a dog and 15,000 pounds of household goods. We will talk about closing on a house in record time, getting cleared out of on-post housing, getting a new job, integrating into yet another new community, but this time, off-post. And we will do it all with some sweet, southern style and grace!

I am really looking forward to sharing this adventure with you, and as always, feel free to ask questions here or find me on social media. It is going to be a great summer! I can feel it!

May the moving gods smile upon you and may only the junk that you don't like get broken . . . sby