I have to admit, those videos - the ones with soldiers jumping out from behind Santa Claus or hopping out of a birthday cake to surprise their loved ones with a return from deployment - yeah, those make me cry. I can’t help it. Seeing little kids’ faces when they see their daddy is precious, and brings back memories of each time my husband shocked our little guys.

But the ones where he surprises his wife?  Man, those get to me, and this fierce pang of longing shoots through me, especially if Jason is deployed. 

But my next thought is always, ‘oh my, what if Jason did that, and I hadn’t shaved my legs? Or cleaned the house?’ In all honesty, after I’d gotten through the shock and joy of seeing him, wrapping my arms around him and simply breathing him in, well, I’d probably have a look of abject horror on my face because I wasn’t prepared.

Yeah, yeah, I know, they don’t really care if things are “in order” when they get home from deployment, right?  But I care. We’ve done this deployment thing four times, and numerous trainings to JRTC and NTC and of course those school rotations. After 12 years of being a military family, we have a routine that helps us through homecoming and reintegration.  

These small things are what signal to my heart that he’s really coming home. They’re like my own internal battering ram, breaking down the walls I build during a deployment so I’m ready for him to come home to me. 

1. Clean the house. With five kids at home, this is kind of, well, yeah. I do my best. I just never want him to stress out when he first gets home. I want our home be his refuge. But like I just said, five kids. Sometimes he’s just lucky the floors are vacuumed.
2. Stock up the refrigerator. I look like an utter moron when homecoming shopping. Seriously, you’ve never seen a woman happier to load a six-pack of Yuengling Lager into her cart. As I shop, I look at the expiration date on the milk and just grin, knowing that he’ll be drinking it, and that I’ll see Mountain Dew in the frig again.
3. Shop for that outfit. Nothing gets me giddier than thinking about the way I’ll drop his jaw at homecoming, especially this last deployment when I lost those 70 lbs. I choose every item with care, and even when I start looking two months ahead of redeployment, it keeps me focused forward, propelling me through the longest days.
4. Hire a photographer. This isn’t a must for everyone. But for us, those pictures of me racing to him, capturing those first moments of getting our arms around one another, those are precious, and the photographer who took them was a dear friend. This last deployment had the added bonus of introducing him to our daughter, who we’re fostering, and I knew we had to capture that exquisite moment. Don’t feel like hiring a photographer?  Ask a friend, or snap a selfie, just capture that moment and the elation of being reunited.
5. Send letters. The last few days of a deployment are agonizing. Time slows down to a crawl and communications are all but severed unless you have an international cell phone. Just as our cut-off for mail came, I sent Jason a collection of cards, and a few of them were designated to open on the way home, and as he was waiting for our homecoming ceremony. I wanted him to know how grateful I am for him, for this love that conquers deployments. I’m a blubbery mess when I actually get to hold him, so I wanted to make sure I said all the important stuff before my brain turned to mush. Most importantly, he loved them.
6. Wash his T-shirts. I bag up about ten of his shirts as he leaves for deployment. Why? Because when I’m particularly miserable, I pop the seal and catch the thing I miss the most - his scent, and what it means to me – home, safety, and love. They also served as our youngest son’s pillow cases during the 3^rd deployment, effectively stopping his night terrors. But when Jason’s on the plane headed toward me, that’s when I wash them and fold them into his drawers. That’s when I let myself really believe that this deployment is over. 

They may seem like little rituals, silly in the scheme of things, but this is how my heart prepares for reintegration. A lot happens after homecoming, peeps, and prepping for homecoming isn’t just getting the dust off the baseboards. For me, these little things signal to my heart that I can gear down from deployment “survival” mode, and ready my heart to be put back where it belongs: right next to his.

And Jason, surprising me is okay, as long as you’re cool with unshaved legs.

It took less than 30 days for daily updates from the war in Iraq to fall off the front page of our city’s daily newspaper when the battles began there in March, 2003.

We lived nowhere near a military base. Deployments, IEDs, death was not in our regular lexicon. The beat of daily life continued unhindered for most people in the area. But for military families around nation, the next decade would alter their lives forever.

 Nowhere is that more evident than in the towns that border military bases.

At Fort Bragg, handicapped spots at stores are filled by vehicles marked with disabled veteran license plates. The men and women sliding from these vehicles are in their 20s and 30s. They are missing limbs. They are moving with the aid of canes and wheelchairs.

Many businesses, on and off base, have parking spots designated for gold star families – those who have lost a soldier in battle. These spots are usually full.

In the pickup line at our local elementary school it is easy to spot the three, yes three at one small school, cars decorated with the scars of battle and a daddies lost to war. These cars bare gold star stickers and a photo of each man, smiling in uniform with the dates of their births and deaths etched in the vehicles’ back glass.

War is not what is used to be. When America’s warriors are away and struggling to survive, the rest of America meanwhile continues to live unhindered, unworried. They know the details of the upcoming Kardashian wedding but have no idea about the struggles and hardships that the warriors face who keep them safe every night.

There are no victory gardens. Nightly news updates are snippets of information that most people skip. The idea that we are all working together against a common enemy does not exist. Our warriors are taking care of that, the rest of America is on vacation.

For at least one day, please, stop and consider the enormous sacrifices of our military families.

Today is not about barbecues or heading out on vacation or breathing a sigh of relief because you can finally, stylishly wear white.

Today is about pausing to remember and thank the men and women who have died so that you may live.

It is hard in a nation where often there seems to be plentiful food, water and freedom to imagine that life could be any other way. It is hard to imagine that the wars, kidnapping and daily attacks that happen in other countries could be a reality here.

But our military, for hundreds of years, has kept that nightmare away. And they have paid for us to have that security, with their lives.

Today, consider the air you breath, the giant smorgasbord of food, family and fun that is laid out before you to celebrate this national holiday, consider the very land you stand upon and realize none of it would be possible if not for the men and women lying still under it.

Pause and thank them.

Ugggh, PCS. So much to do.

Did you ever wish you had a secretary to make some of those phone calls on your seemingly endless list? The elementary school, MWR, license bureau, rental agency, electric company, cable company - does it ever end!

Poof! Your wish has been granted

USAA members, and let's face it, most families that include a uniformed member are members, have access to a nifty tool on the USAA website that has already price-checked the utilities in every major location across the U.S.

Log in to the USAA website, click on "Our Products" tab, then click on "Shopping & Discounts" and finally, click on "Home & Security." Here you will find a box marked, "Utility Market Place."

Enter your zip code, select the service you are looking for (phone, cable, internet, etc.) the speed of internet, number of channels and other details you desire and it will list all the competitors in the marketplace and their rates.

Boom. Done.

It seriously couldn't be easier. No arguing with customer representatives or calling three companies, taking notes and then guessing which is best. This website lays everything out where you can see it, compare it and choose. You can even sign up for the service at this site.

It's good to note that there are several other very handy tools on this page, to include listings for local vendors such as plumbers and lawn care as well as discounts for ADT security services. We recently used our USAA membership to install a large ADT security system in our home. The installment without the USAA discount was over $1,000, but as USAA members, our cost was just over $400.

Seriously, if you have not checked out this page, do it now. It will save you time and money.

Since I made the decision to postpone graduate school earlier this year, I have been working on updating my resume and beginning my search for part-time work.

I have found the search to be a little more challenging than it used to be. I have a BA in psychology, but I’ve been out of the work force for four years. And in that time I’ve had four different addresses. And currently, we live hours away from any big city and opportunities are few and far between.

But the truth is, even after searching for a job on and off throughout the last few years, I have never applied to a position. I have never truly put myself out there since becoming a stay-at-home mom.

After a little reflection, I have realized it is because I am not only afraid of rejection, but I am not confident in my education or my experience. It is easier to make excuses and rationalize why a position wouldn’t be right for me instead of facing the reality that I may not be qualified. And, for many years, I have used our military life as a crutch to stop myself from making any real decisions about my future career or education plans.

I need to switch gears. I need to be proud of my undergraduate work and of my past work experience. And, I need to be proud of my experience as a military spouse. 

There are services available on base to help spouses create and update their resume, apply to federal jobs and prepare for the interview process. I have been a military spouse for almost eight years and have never taken advantage of this service. Partially because I am a little stubborn and feel like I can do it myself.

But also, I am afraid our military lifestyle will deter a potential employer from hiring me. We often do not know how long we will be in an area. I know this can be difficult for employers.

I have been out of the work force for a long time. I want to utilize this resource on base to make a fresh start and prepare me better in the areas where I am not as confident anymore. Ideally, employment will be the outcome.

But even if I do not find a job in the next few months, gaining a little confidence in myself will make me a better and stronger military wife and mother. I have nothing to lose!

Did you ever make something and think, ‘Hey, this is pretty cool. I wonder if I could sell this?’

More importantly, did you ever give it a try?

Coast Guard wife Rachel Wray, current stationed in Honolulu, took her lifelong love of creating and has turned it into a booming business that is helping to make military quarters all over the island feel like home.

This summer she is moving her business, Creations by Rachel, to Memphis where her husband will serve as a recruiter. Though the talented artist said moving a family and a business across country can be daunting, a little planning goes a long way and makes for a successful transition.

Need inspiration for your own small business aspirations? Enjoy this quick conversation with Rachel, creative spouse turned savvy entrepreneur:

Q: What inspired you to begin Creations by Rachel?

A: “The startup of Creations by Rachel was completely spontaneous. As early as fourth grade I can remember making crafts (mainly potholders) and trying to sell them door to door. I have always crafted and decorated as a personal hobby. In November, my husband brought home a pallet board and I ended up painting a duty station block for our house. It just so happens that the next day I stopped by the Dear Olympia store at the Pearl Harbor NEX to look at her paints. As one DIYer to the next, I showed the owner a picture of my block. She liked it and offered to let me consign it at her kiosk! She encouraged me to go home and immediately start a Facebook business page and to think of a name for myself. That night, Creations by Rachel was born. I really was in the right place at the right time!”

Q: Tell me what your company does.

A: “With Creations by Rachel, my mission is to create one-of-a-kind custom home décor pieces that are on-trend and popular. I also offer power tool classes, painting parties, and personal crafting sessions.”

Q: What is the toughest part of being an entrepreneur and starting a new business?

A: “The toughest aspect of all of this has been learning to clearly identify my business goals without letting my emotions control the process or muddy my communication with other business owners and partners. Thankfully, I have had patient mentors.”

Q: What kind of prep work did you have to do to prepare to open your business?

A: “Getting started for this business was pretty minimal on my part. I have taken a few power tool classes from local hardware stores and have attended webinar sessions on growing your business. However, I would say the years I spent crafting and reading design blogs have been my biggest sources of information and inspiration. I have had to add quite a few tools as my business has grown, but the blessing of working from home is low overhead costs.”

Q: What is the best part of owning your own business?

A: “The best part has been interacting and networking with other similar small businesses. These owners are passionate about DIY and home décor, which encourages and inspires me in my own pursuits. And of course, working with my customers and creating relationships with them has been truly wonderful!”

Q: What is your ultimate goal for your business?

A: “My goal for this business is to create a place where my customers feel excited and safe to come create with me. I love bringing them into the creative process and teaching them new skills and techniques. Oftentimes, after a class, I walk away, feeling just as inspired by them, as they, hopefully, do by me.”

Q: As you prepare to move to Nashville this summer, moves are always an upheaval for military families, but as a business owner how will this impact you?

A: “We are getting ready to PCS and it is with some anxiety that I leave behind my customer base in this location. However, I am taking the portable aspects of my business with me and I plan to continue teaching classes as we travel this summer. I think as a military spouse and small business owner, you need to prepare yourself and your customers for the business to slow down until you are settled again.  It helps to create some final fun/big moments such as sales and fun classes just before you leave and again when you re-open. Customers love getting to be involved in these exciting times with you.”

Q: What tips can you share to help other spouses move their business efficiently and effectively?

A: “I would encourage others to start collecting feedback from friends and family on their services or products and to not take any negative feedback personally but as useful information. Also look for ways to make connections with other business owners, social media is amazing for this! Let them know what you have to offer and see if there is a way your services can meet one of their needs. I have found that staying on-trend and keeping fresh ideas helps keep your business relevant.”

Q: What encouragement do you have for military spouses who want to become entrepreneurs but feel overwhelmed?

A: “Don’t be afraid to try new ideas and have them be total failures. It’s a great learning opportunity when this happens. Also, work well with others and don’t be afraid to encourage them in their businesses. Most likely, they will repay the favor by encouraging you. Most of all, keep on creating and having fun!”

Sometimes they’re big, sometimes they’re small. Sometimes they’re hardback, sometimes they’re squishy. Sometimes they’re spiral bound and sometimes they’re loose-leaf. I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. 

Sigh. Textbooks. 

Right before every semester starts, we get a nifty little list of required reading for each class. Sure, sometimes we’re lucky enough to take a literature class that requires something we already have on the bookshelf. Or, if we don’t have it, Kindle or iBooks have a great number of classic titles for free. FREE! 

Sometimes, though, we aren’t so lucky. I’ve been there. I’ve been there more times than I care to admit, frankly. You know the dark place I’m talking about. The one where we’re already salty because we have to take some nonsense 102 level class that is wildly uninteresting, and our saltiness is compounded because the book for the class is monetarily equivalent to the birth of our firstborn? 

Yeah. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve visited that dark, salty place many times over the duration of my academic career. However, with each passing semester, I learned a few tricks.  (Yes!  There is a glimmer of hope!) 

One of the key elements I’ve learned regarding textbooks is to rent. Rent, rent, rent! Chegg, Amazon, Kindle, Nook, and Half.com all offer textbook rentals, which are significantly cheaper than purchasing (obviously). You order, they mail, you use. Then you print off the return label, slap it on a bubble envelope and ship that bad boy back! 

To make the deal even sweeter, many titles are available through e-book rental, which makes the shipping hassle non-existent. Be sure to check out the prices on each site, because prices vary by semester and outlet. 

Many professors will be up front about the amount of time you will dedicate to the book required for their class. Some professors hate the book choices, and pick one solely because the school requires them to do so. When that is the case, they typically do not have a problem letting you know exactly how much they think the book sucks. In these classes, you can almost get away with not purchasing the book at all, or perhaps sharing with one or two other students.  (If you take that route, it would be beneficial to ask your professor if they are cool with that … just to be on the safe side.)

Schools will occasionally require a text that is specific to their institution. Sometimes it’s simply because the school has requested that the publisher remove a chapter or two. Emailing the teacher prior to the class’s start date can confirm whether that is the case, and can save you some money if you don’t have to buy through the school’s bookstore. 

Which brings me to my final point:  if you absolutely, without a doubt must purchase your book from your school’s bookstore, go early.  I mean, as soon as you know the titles required for your classes, go buy the books. Don’t order them online. It’s cute that they provide you with the little, clicky bubble to indicate your preference for a used book over a new one.  But that cute little, clicky bubble will provide you with a false sense of security, my friend. Want to know why?  Because most bookstores do not pull your order and put it together until you arrive to pick it up, and by then all the used books will be gone. 

I hope that these tips have been helpful. I wish someone had given them to me when I started college.  Now go forth and spend all of your hard-earned money on books that you will skim once and sell back at a much, much lower price. 

Editor’s Note: Please welcome our guest blogger this week, Army spouse Holly Bates who recently made a PCS move from Hawaii to Georgia.

PCS can be a busy time. Seasoned spouses know that the best way to manage the chaos is to put it in a book - all of it.

This so-called, PCS bible is the lifeline between your current duty station and your new life awaiting you across the country or around the world. I build a book every time my family moves and model it after my hubby's "Love Me" book that documents his career highlights. Every document is held in a document protector. I use dividers, post-it notes and even print a colorful cover sheet to top it off.

You should begin building your binder as soon as you receive orders. In fact, orders are the first document you should have in there. Ready to build your own PCS binder? Here is a list of documents I include and organizational tips for a binder that is not only full of essential information but also organized well enough to help you find that information in a flash.

Basics: Smaller families can fit most of their information in a single, 1-inch thick, three-ring binder. Larger families may see their binders grow to 4 or more inches. Purchase sheet protectors with three holes to put in the binder as well as sheets with divider tabs attached. I also keep pencils, pens, a notebook and post it notes in my binder.   

Tabs: Your tabs should be labeled to match the documents in that section of the book. Here are my labels and what to include in that section.

Orders

You can’t give notice to on-post housing without a copy of military orders. You can’t make an appointment for transportation without orders. You need a copy for the on-post vet to obtain your free, 10-day health certificate. This is especially true if you have to make the move without your soldier. Orders are the number one document you will need for everything, everywhere.

List of Important Contacts

This is one is kind of self-explanatory, but may include airlines, hotels, car rental companies, family, local friends, schools, clinic/hospital, pharmacy, new unit staff duty, useful websites, utilities, insurance companies, banking institutions, veterinary clinics, etc. (Note: I also recommend keeping some of these numbers in your smartphone Contacts list. It makes calling easier, if your binder isn’t nearby.

Travel Documents

Include: flight itinerary/confirmation, airline phone numbers, airline miles account numbers for each traveler (you never know when you’ll accumulate enough points for a free flight!). I also keep our passports here until we leave for the airport. Then I move them to the outer pocket of my backpack along with printed copies of our tickets.  

Make hotel reservations as soon as possible. This becomes especially important when you’re driving across country through remote areas. Don’t wing it and assume you can find a room on the road – especially if you have three kids, two dogs and a hamster with you. Hotels have rules and often this limits the number of people per room and can mean no pets allowed. If you’re planning on renting vehicles, keep copies of the rental reservation and agreement. While this expense will not be reimbursed by the government, you may be able to receive a credit on your federal taxes for the year.

HHG/POV Shipping Documents

Keep copies of POV shipping forms (with appropriate POA if someone other than the servicemember is picking it up on the other end). This includes the inspection sheet used by the shipping company to annotate any scratches, dents or damage.

You will want to label a separate section for household goods paperwork. If you have any high dollar value items, keep a working list of the brand/model and serial numbers. This is helpful not just for a PCS move but in case you are ever burglarized you will have an exact record of what you are missing to give to the police. In the past I have kept a list of each of the 300 DVDS we owned and shipped in our household goods.

Medical/Dental Records

Old-school Soldiers and Spouses were used to hand-carrying their medical records between duty stations. Now that the military has gone digital, many clinics/hospitals will not provide original records. However, if you have any special needs, (i.e., off-post providers, infertility records, EFMP records, etc.), you’ll
probably want to request a copy for your new PCM/providers. Make sure to plan ahead as it may take a few weeks to get copies from patient administration. This happened to me when we PCS’d from Germany back to the U.S. They kept the original copy and I had to request a copy.

Most dependents receive dental care from a civilian provider. When you get ready to move (or at your last cleaning), let the office staff know you are getting ready to move and request one copy of your/your child’s dental records/x-rays.

You’ll also want a list of prescription medications each family member uses and the expiration date, especially if you’re taking a month’s leave between duty stations. You don’t want to get stuck in hundreds of miles from a military doc with an expired prescription for a medicine you take daily. If possible, make a visit to your PCM shortly before you move to renew/extend any prescriptions. Most are willing to send you off with a 90-day supply if you explain you’re moving to ensure you have enough to carry you over
until you get settled with a new PCM.

School Records

Nothing is more frustrating than moving your child to a new school, especially in the middle of a school year. Most schools require a two-week notification to prepare the sealed envelope of your child’s school record to hand carry to your next school. It’s good to also ask for copies of any non-standardized tests to demonstrate any of your child’s advanced abilities. If your child is currently enrolled in a Talented and Gifted program that doesn’t always guarantee they will slide into the program at the new school. In this case, you may also want letters of recommendation from your child’s teacher and/or counselor regarding any afterschool enrichment programs to which they currently belong (band, chorus, Lego robotics, chess, etc.).

In addition, you’ll definitely want to carry a copy of your child’s shot records. This may also be placed under medical records. Some states will not let you register your child without proof of vaccinations, especially pre-k and kindergarten students.

CYSS Records

While talking about the kiddos, let’s not forget their childcare records. If you are utilizing
an on-post Child Development Center, School Age Services program or Child-
Youth Sports those records need to be brought to the new duty station as well. Supposedly, every post is linked (similar to digital medical records). In my experience, though, it is always best to stop by the
Central Enrollment to obtain a copy of your child’s record. It will prevent the headache of having to fill out the same paperwork again. Besides, the physical exam for sports/enrollment is good for one year from the date of the exam.

EFMP Records

Family Members enrolled in the Exceptional Family Member Program also require special handling. You’ll definitely want to hand carry medical records from all doctors and therapists. You’ll want a copy of their latest IEP from their current school. You may even ask your providers for any recommendations for your new location. They may be able to provide references for fellow providers and therapists.

Civilian Personnel Records (GS Employees)

You should receive a copy of your last evaluation before leaving your GS position. You’ll need this copy to bring to the Civilian Personnel Office, if you seek federal employment at your new post. In addition, stop by your state unemployment office before leaving to obtain information concerning claiming
unemployment while you seek employment at your new duty station. It may take a few months to get hired back on with the military. Also, keep an updated copy of your resume in your binder. You never know when you’ll need it! Network, network, network. You’re new job may come from word-of-mouth in the most unlikely places!

Veterinary Records

This section applies to fellow parents of beloved fur babies. It is possible to move halfway across the globe with your pets, but you’ll need to do advance research to ensure their vaccinations (rabies, FAVN, etc.) are up-to-date and you meet any country-specific requirements (i.e., Germany bans some breeds). Most of our pets’ annual needs (vaccinations, spaying) we’ve met on-post because (a) it’s usually cheaper, (b) consistency of records, and (c) most military vets are already familiar with the specific requirements for flying to Europe, Hawaii or Asia. Plus, we’ve always gotten the 10-day USDA Health Certificate required by airlines done by the military vet for free! Prior planning allowed us to fly our
14-year-old cats as excess baggage from Texas to Hawaii without any quarantine. We walked out of the airport with them. It took less than 30 minutes to clear the USDA Quarantine Station. I felt really sorry for the young couple arriving as I was leaving. They didn’t have a trip binder and found out they would need to quarantine their pet at a significant cost.

P.S., you’ll want to notify the airline as soon as possible that you will be flying with pets. Some have limited space and/or temperature restrictions during winter/summertime, which also happens to be peak PCS season.

DITY/Partial DITY Moves

I admit, all our moves have been CONUS-OCONUS and back. So, I have no direct experience with DITY moves, except what I’ve heard from friends and family. Because you are assuming responsibility for your move, which will be scrutinized by the military for reimbursement, you’ll want to keep every receipt related to renting a moving truck, weighing said truck empty and full as well as any vehicles you’ll be hauling. Ensure you empty the vehicle of any removable items (car seats, jumper cables, etc.) before weighing. In the military, it is important to get/keep everything in writing. The same applies when
you are moving.

As a military spouse with several PCS moves under my belt, my trip binder is the one thing that keeps me sane during the upheaval of a military move. Conversely, it also drives me insane with all the details I need to track—flight itineraries, hotel/car rental arrangements.

While not all moving related expenses can be claimed on the travel voucher, many can be listed as moving expenses on your state and/or federal taxes. For example, pets are considered household goods. You can’t claim the cost of shipping Rover or Fluffy on your military travel voucher, but you can on your federal taxes. I’m no tax expert, so refer to your tax preparer or the IRS website (www.irs.gov) for more information.

Let’s face it. Our service member has a lot on his/her plate as they clear their unit and CIF, arrange transportation, visit travel offices, as well as various farewell luncheons and dinners. And in all fairness, I don’t mess with his Army briefcase, which holds all his military records. My binder is a supplement to this because I’m sure I’m like many other Spouses—I like to have a hand in when the movers come, what date we’ll clear housing, how quickly can I get a Statement of Non-Availability to enjoy Mai Tais on the beach in Waikiki. (Note: This last part is absolutely a must when leaving Hawaii!)

*This list is certainly not comprehensive and may not meet all your Family’s needs. Feel free to add/subtract what suits you. Some additional suggestions I solicited from friends:

-If your family is ESL, get and keep a copy of your child’s test results. Without paperwork in hand, a new school may re-test your child and the results can vary. In the meantime, they may be unnecessarily placed within an ESL

-If moving to Alaska, make your ferry reservation early, to include all necessary cabins, which are reimbursable on your travel voucher. A friend planned ahead before they even had paper orders in hand and was able to avoid sleeping on the floor in the public areas of the ferry for two days.

The best advice you can get is to do the research and be prepared. Every PCS location has its quirks and requirements and if you know they are coming, and are ready, you will have a much smoother, calmer, PCS experience.

Your service member may be eligible for a $1,000 check from Sallie Mae after the lending giant made a deal with the U.S. Justice and Education departments this week.

The government claims Sallie Mae, and its former loan servicing unit, now known as Navient DE Corp., of denying service members protection under the Service members' Civil Relief Act. The law requires that eligible military members receive an interest rate cap on certain consumer loans, including education loans.

The government claims that Sallie Mae knowingly ignored thousands of requests from military members to lower their interest rates. While the company has not admitted to any wrongdoing, it has agreed to a $60 million payout to troops and has agreed to work with individuals to remove overdue loan payments from their credit history.

The payments are estimated to average about $1,000 per person and are due to about 60,000 individuals.

An independent organization will work to locate troops who are due the payment and send them their money. If you think you are due money from the settlement, visit www.justice.gov to find additional information, however Justice Department officials have said individuals do not have to contact the department to receive the refunds. If you are due a refund, officials said, they will find you.

It’s PCS Season, which in our little military world, means change is coming. It’s the cause of house-selling, purging, nerves and adventure. Well, at least for those who are moving.

Sometimes the hardest part of PCS season isn’t moving, it’s being left behind. 

When you PCS, there’s a whole new, well ... everything. New house, new duty station, new unit, new friends. It’s as exhilarating as it is tedious, this fresh start that begs you to make the best of yourself with every box you unpack, every crystal wine glass you find that the movers didn’t break.

But when you’re the one not PCS’ing, things can look a little different, because everything where you are is still the same – but it’s not. Most of what makes a duty station amazing are the friends we make there, and they begin to define that assignment for us, that portion of our lives. When they leave for their next post, the base around us doesn’t physically change, but the way we relate to it does.

Staying behind means watching your friends leave one by one, saying farewell one dinner, one hug, one tear at a time. It means explaining to your children time and again, that it’s just a part of this not-always-beautiful life that they live, and hoping they’ll see their friends again one day. It’s waking up the day after your best friend leaves, and feeling just a little sad and empty, like there’s a gaping void that it’s impossible to fill. 

And when you watch a good chunk of your friends PCS at the same time? Well, it kind of feels like you’ve become this giant slice of swiss cheese, unsure which hole you’re supposed to try to fill first.

But we have to fill the holes. 

Cheese not your metaphor of choice? Okay, how about trees? Everyone loves trees. If we’re these giant trees, growing, thriving, then surely our friends are our roots, nourishing and supporting us, keeping us from toppling over when the storms hit. Sometimes PCS’ing can feel like your roots are being cut off one by one, and while your friends are transplanted, doing the whole “bloom where you grow,” thing, you’re kind of withering and dying.  

I’ve been there, and it sucks. 

But once you get past your initial tears and wallow moments, it’s time to take stock. Yes, being left behind can be a royal pain in the …well, you know, but if there’s one thing that the Army has taught us, it’s that change is constant. If you live in base housing, then you know that house next to you won’t remain empty for long. Welcome that new spouse, even if you don’t feel like it, because you’re part of her new adventure, and as a good friend told me once, you never know who might be your next “person.” 

Fight the urge to hermit away and swear off friends. You don’t do that? Oh, then it must be just me. I get in this funk, where I feel like making friends in the Army isn’t worth it when I just keep losing them time and time again. Then I look all around the world and see these amazing women I’ve had the opportunity to call friends, and I can’t let myself regret a single laugh, or even the torrent of tears when they leave. Get out, and give someone new a chance.

When all else fails, remember that technology is awesome. We’re never further away than a phone call, a Skype session, a Facebook IM away from each other. I can honestly say that I maintain some of my strongest, truest friendships far away from our duty station because distance doesn’t determine friendships. Just because I can’t see these awesome ladies doesn’t mean they’re not still there, ready to lend support through a phone call, or even a cheer-up-during-deployment visit. You may feel like a rootless tree, but maybe your roots just grew longer, stretching to cover the distance between you, and just maybe you’re stronger for it.

So for those of you who are being left behind this summer, have your moment, your wallow, your tears for the physical loss of your friend. After all, a measure of how much you miss someone is really how much you loved them in the first place.

Then take a breath and push on. No duty station lasts forever, and it’s your turn to PCS next.

There is a lot of information out there for military families.

Walk into any ACS, family center, PX, NEX, BX, commissary, or military medical waiting room and you will be inundated with pamphlets, booklets and flyers.

There are base calendars online, separate calendars for youth activities and on-post sports and events. There are hundreds of other websites that offer programs for military families. Even for spouses who consider themselves good at keeping up with the information deluge, it's a lot to compile.

And sometimes, there is so much fluff news that military families lose track of the information that is really, really important - like updates on benefits, troop deployments and pay. Those topics tend to be fueled by rumor, Facebook posts and speculation.

No more. Get your information from the professionals.

The Early Bird Brief is compiled daily by the editors of Defense News and Military Times. That means that the good, bad and ugly will be here. No more fluff, no more re-directing families to happy, base news. Did Congress vote to slash your benefits? You will find the story here. Were troops killed over the weekend? It is here.

The Early Bird is divided into sections: the day's top five stories, defense industry news, Congress, Defense Department, Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, Veterans, Afghanistan, Middle East, Europe, Americas, Asia-Pacific and Commentary and Analysis.

It is still a lot of information. But the dividers make it easy to consume. PCSing to Japan, check out the Asia-Pacific section to get an honest read of what is happening there. Is your military member retiring and looking for a job in the defense industry? Check that section to keep up with new contracts and deals the military has made, which may help you decide what company to apply with.

We know it is one more thing to read every morning, but the Early Bird is written so well, in bite-size paragraphs, that with a single glance you will have an unbiased look at what is happening around the military that day.

Sit down with a cup of coffee and look it over. You will be glad you did.