Looking for a job fair? Don't know where to start? The job fair may be local but the listings are hanging out in cyberspace.

Your best bet for finding a job fair near you is to first check our listing, posted the first week of every month. If you happen to miss that, you can go straight to the organizations that host the events.

And since the Obama administration has encouraged businesses to hire veterans and military spouses there are a lot of hiring fairs dedicated solely to attracting the military folks. As an added bonus many of the organizations that host the job fairs also operate virtual job boards that are updated daily.

http://www.vetready.org  - For military only, includes job fairs and job listings

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/events/hiringfairs - Created by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in 2011, this network of job fairs has been one of the most successful in placing military members and their spouses in civilian jobs. The organization has helped more than 18,000 military family members find jobs.

http://www.taonline.com/militaryjobfairs - A site dedicated to transition out of the military, it lists jobs and job fairs

http://www.nationalcareerfairs.com - For military and civilian job seekers, this lists all job fairs, military specific and non-military

http://h2h.jobs - The Heroes 2 Hired organization specializes in helping Reserve and National Guard members find jobs

http://hireahero.org - This site specializes in job listings for military members and their spouses

Don't feel like searching these sites? Simply use Google and type in the word job fair and your state's name. The search engine will not only bring up generic job fair listings but also those for specific careers and locations.

Get online and find your job today!

I have started a new volunteer adventure over the past few months and I wanted to share my experience with you all.

For the last year I have enjoyed volunteering for a non-profit organization on base, but I found myself wanting to give back to the battalion my husband belongs to, our immediate military family. Since my husband is not deploying any time soon, I felt like the least I could do was help other families by helping put on family events and/or fundraisers.

So this summer I became a Family Readiness Assistant. And it just so happens to put me directly under my husband’s direction.  Or as he would like to joke, he is now my boss.

I will admit, I briefly discussed volunteering for this program when we first moved here over a year ago but there were a couple other wives who held the position and I did not want to step on any toes or change the work that was already being done.

And, I wasn’t sure I wanted to work that closely with my husband, to be perfectly honest. For the last four years, I have put my role as a mother first and my life as a military spouse second. I still struggle with the whole military spouse hat even eight years into it and generally feel more comfortable in a small group of ladies. A whole company seemed frightening to me. I do not like to take on more than I can handle and being new to the area and the battalion, I backed away.

But things change. New people come and go in the military and a friend asked me to join her at a family readiness meeting. My husband’s company could have used an extra family readiness assistant so long story short, here I am.

And surprisingly, it has been going well! In fact, it’s been nice to have some “work” things to talk about with my husband around the dinner table. I know of upcoming events, deployment homecomings, trainings etc. I find myself asking my husband more questions about his work life that sadly, I guess I haven’t asked about the last couple years.

It’s not because I am not interested in what he does day in and out but when he comes home most days during (okay usually after) the toddler witching hour of making and eating dinner, clean up, baths and bedtime, it doesn’t leave a whole lot of down time for discussions.

I think my husband stopped asking me how my day was a long time ago because I am pretty sure it wasn’t a nice answer. And somewhere along the line, I stopped asking about his day. A piece of me misses having a career outside of my role as mom and it’s hard to hear about his accomplishments. Especially when the only thing I accomplished was keeping my kids out of the ER for the day. As a mom of two boys that is quite the accomplishment!

It’s been a little sad to look back and see that I became too caught up in my own stress and exhaustion. This new opportunity has given me a little more purpose, not only as a military spouse in my husband’s battalion but as my husband’s wife as well. Helping other military families, whether the act is as small as sending out an email with events or making cookies for deploying Marines, has given me a purpose outside of my home. My confidence and motivation has increased and I find myself a little happier on the busy days of running to base for meetings and family events with my kids in tow.

I never thought that the busier our lives would be, the better but it really has been a positive change.  We are talking around the dinner table and it’s not just about our kids and their potty training habits! It’s been a fun change around our house and I hope it continues. My goal was to help other military families but in doing so I have also helped myself.

If you crank the tunes when you hit the books, you may be giving yourself a mental boost. While studies on the effects of music on the brain abound, there’s also a wide range of findings. But the research seems to support at least one key benefit: music tends to help people stick with a project.

“Music seems to engage individuals in whatever task so they persist longer,” said Professor Eugenia Costa-Giomi, PhD, of the University of Texas’ Butler School of Music. “Not necessarily improve performance … you can be looking at accuracy of responses, score on a test, but you can also look at persistence in an academic task – how many times you try to solve the problems, how many problems you try to solve.”

This is not to say there aren’t other benefits, but the effects of music vary depending on the individual, the setting and many other factors, Costa-Giomi said. She says she always asks her university students – musicians -- if they listen to music while they study.

“Some say it’s impossible not to pay attention to the music; they’ll get distracted,” she said. “There are others that actually say it helps them keep studying. They choose the music very carefully so it’s not distracting.”

The right type of music before a test may help tune up your thinking, she said.

“In regards to just listening, which is what the Mozart Effect is about, what we know is the tempo of the music has a lot to do with the intellectual arousal that occurs during listening that can have positive effects on test-taking,” Costa-Giomi said. “You are a little bit more alert.”

That alertness isn’t limited to just Mozart, she said.

“Anything that engages the person during a 15-minute period as opposed to sitting, doing nothing, waiting and then taking a test,” she said. “The tempo of the music was one of the variables that affected performance in certain tests. More upbeat, faster tempos led to more intellectual arousal and better performance in certain tests.”

But that improved performance doesn’t last long.

“The sad side of all this, if there is an improvement in performance, it’s very short-lived,” Costa-Giomi said. “If you become more intelligent, it only lasts about 15 minutes. The great thing is there doesn’t seem to be too many negative effects.”

Other than an upbeat tempo, there’s really no specific style of music (instrumental vs. vocal, classical vs. pop, etc.) that’s been clearly proven as the best choice.

“The difference is so mediated by the tempo of the music, the style of the music, the individual characteristics of the listener, it becomes very hard to give a single recommendation,” she said.

So when it comes down to it, you’re actually the true expert when it comes to determining whether you should pop those ear buds in or unplug altogether.

“There are lots of individual differences and characteristics of the music that may affect the outcome,” she said. “ (If the students) believe it has a positive affect, ultimately, that’s what’s important.”

It happened.

Until now, I’ve managed to avoid sharing my Facebook life with a co-worker. Then, I had to create a Facebook page for my job and the clients I manage. My co-worker joined it. No big deal. It’s all official work-related info.

Then, she sent me a request to join my personal page.

Ummmmm ….. crud.

I was suddenly spinning out of control in the work vs Facebook conundrum.

If I deny her request, will it affect our relationship at work? If I accept her request, will it do the same? Will she scrutinize my posts and wonder why I was discussing my bizarre donut at breakfast instead of getting to work 3 minutes before the start bell rang?

Will she gossip about my days off with other co-workers? Let’s be honest, will she gossip about how boring my days off are with my co-workers? Pictures of tearing out the flower beds and giving my dog a bath aren’t exactly scandal material.

Will she attack me for my personal stances in support of gay marriage and other issues, which are mentioned on my page but have no visibility in my workspace?

I was stuck.

I personally like the giant dividing line I have drawn between my work space and my home life. But I also feared the nasty repercussions that may come with avoiding this woman’s social media request.

So, I hit, “accept.”

And I haven’t posted on Facebook since.

And, I have no good answers to fix this.

So, good reader, do you share Facebook space with your co-workers? Or do you keep them at bay with a thanks but no thanks?

In our life in the military, separation is nothing new. We’re apart during trainings, schools, TDY’s, field exercises and that dreaded “D” world. But though Jason and I have been married almost thirteen years, we’ve never been separated by choice.

That’s about to change.

We’re about to be separated for eight months, or even longer, and for the first time.

And, it’s not the Army pulling us apart.

We’re crossing the year-mark of fostering our youngest daughter, and her situation is anything but settled. We’ve always said we would not leave her behind if we came down on PCS orders.

And , now,  it’s time to put our money where our mouth is. Next week, Jason will leave for a course in-route on his PCS. I will stay behind in New York with our children.

Saying “we’re going to stay behind,” sounds so romantic in theory. It’s anything but in reality.

Jason’s prepping me just like he’s leaving for a deployment. I have a new Power of Attorney, the cars have been serviced, the snow-blowers are ready to battle yet another Fort Drum winter that I thought I’d never see. We’re trying to figure out how to juggle three hockey teams for the four boys, along with the complicated schedule that comes along with our sweet Little Miss. We’re trying to plan ahead toward writing deadlines and book releases on my side of the work aisle and trips home on his.

But we’re doing this all with no idea of what actual timeline we’re working with. For someone who likes to plan things out, you know, like a little thing like a cross-country move with a tribe of children, this is harder than I ever imagined.

I know that we’re not alone. Other spouses choose not to PCS with their husbands for jobs, stability, kids or a myriad of other personal reasons. Excuse me while my inner five-year-old rears her head, but the idea of going through another 8 months apart from him, after he’s only been home from Afghanistan for 9 months, hurts.

But this isn’t a deployment. Jason’s not being shot at, or eating MRE’s or flying dangerous missions. No, he’s just living a few time zones away until the state of New York decides what’s in the best interest of our little girl.

The boys are more than understanding, they’re utterly supportive. Yes, they were devastated when the court couldn’t give her permanency one way or another last month, as were we all, but they kissed her little cheeks and promised her that they weren’t going anywhere without her.

Meanwhile, I see what they’re giving up – their dad for another eight months when they just got him back – and I want to sob at how we’re ripping our family apart just for the chance to keep it together.

In the words of my husband – this is the easiest choice with the hardest consequences.

So he’s packing his things as I unpack the boxes we’d filled in hopes that we’d be going with him. We’re putting everything on hold and beginning a life in limbo, so I guess it’s a good thing that the Army has taught us to be flexible. We bend in this marriage, this family. We don’t break.

Just a week left together to fit in giggles and hugs, good-nights kisses and before-school high-fives. Then it’s time to brush up on our Skype-skills and flex my sole-caretaker muscles. I want to say “I’ve got this. No problem.”

But truthfully, trepidation doesn’t adequately describe the pressure in my chest. There’s no feeling that encompasses our choice here other than love.

We love her. She loves us. Love can stretch a continent, so we’ll focus on that until we know how long we’ll be apart, and how many of us will be moving. But no matter what happens, we’ll know that in this, we put our money where our mouth has been. We’ve stayed. We’re seeing her through. Because when it comes to foster parenting, it’s never about you, it’s about the child, and her best interest – and her family staying put while she’s in the center of a fight she didn’t make is definitely what she needs.

He goes. We stay.  Five kids, three hockey teams, visitations, therapists and one mommy. Here we go.

By Holly Bates

WARNING! The following is a vent concerning a particular incident that occurred this week at the civilian personnel office at my current duty station. It is one I’m sure others can relate to. 

I entered the local CPAC office with a copy of my résumé, SF50, transcripts, and DD214, signed in and waited to be seen by the woman talking on the phone behind the desk. I was dressed business casual and eager to finally submit my paperwork for a federal job!

As I waited, I overheard the woman speaking in a rude, patronizing tone to the individual on the other end of the phone. She was telling him/her how to apply for a job they saw on USAJOBS. I could tell she was not happy about this conversation and didn’t want to be bothered by the caller.  When she finished the call, the woman looked at me and asked what I needed. 

I explained that I wanted to submit my paperwork for spousal preference. She said the person who handled that wasn’t in and wouldn’t be in “until 0800 tomorrow.” With an attitude, she asked to look at my paperwork. Before she even had my résumé packet in hand, she said she wanted my USAJOBS résumé with “USAJOBS” clearly printed on top. 

Then, she proceeded to tell me she didn’t need my supplemental docs, that they needed to be uploaded. Duh! Already done. I could tell she was obviously not in the mood for customers.  Besides, I really didn’t want to deal with this person, who didn’t know how to turn off the attitude from her previous telephone encounter. So, I told her I’d be back in the morning.

Of course, I left with a pounding headache. It can be very frustrating and stressful to go into an office thinking you have all the paperwork you need, only to be told to come back. And, when this happens again and again, I don’t blame applicants when they have difficulty containing their tempers. After my experience in that office my own blood pressure shot up to headache-inducing levels.

When I left the office, I called my hubby to vent my frustrations. He suggested I just keep my mouth shut and do what they ask just to get past this particular hurdle, to come back the following day and see the other clerk who handles spousal preference applicants. Besides, it may be a case of good cop/bad cop—and I just encountered the bad cop. 

By the way, my hubby was right. When I returned with the “appropriate” USAJOBS résumé printed from the website, I was greeted with a somewhat friendlier co-worker of the clerk I encountered the day before. She still pointed out I didn’t include my salary for each job on the USAJOBS résumé, but took my paperwork and said a specialist would call me in five business days to go over my résumé and tell me the jobs for which I may qualify and apply.

So, what went wrong in this situation?

Well, first off, I firmly believe you can say anything to anyone - it’s just a matter of how you say it. Frankly, I know I’m not always the most tactful person, but a friendly smile and demeanor go a long way. 

But, holy cow! If this individual is any example of how job applicants are treated by current government employees in the personnel office, I know I’d feel really discouraged and might possibly run far, far away. It’s no wonder many people have developed a stereotypical image of government employee with a bad attitude.

I want to talk about the importance of good customer service personnel in a federal job information center, especially within the Civilian Personnel Advisory Center (CPAC) on military installations. Usually, these offices are staffed by lower-level (aka, underpaid) clerical employees.

More importantly, with the application process increasingly less personal and all online at USAJOBS, these individuals are often a military spouse’s first interaction with locating a federal job. Therefore, a cheerful demeanor is important. Applicants are often confused by the online process and need some delicate handholding. 

Now, this is not to say lower-level clerical employees are bad people with bad attitudes. In my past, I was one of these lower-paid people staffing a busy job information center for the Office of Personnel Management in Miami. Regardless of the situation, I maintained my professionalism and cheerful demeanor with my incoming customers, aka, job applicants. My responsibilities were the same as the individual I encountered this week, but on a wider scale as we were responsible for assisting customers looking for jobs with all federal agencies and not just the Army. And this was before the Internet became the go-to source for jobs.  We were old-school with a list we printed weekly and with which we papered the walls of our office. Yes, some customers were very difficult and required a lot of handholding, but I did not let them see my frustrations or take these frustrations out on the next customer.

So, remember to keep your cool no matter how hard it may be if you encounter a similar situation. 

And don’t give up because the perfect job may be waiting for you on the other side of this hurdle. 

While the person behind the desk may be having a bad day, which they need to keep to themselves, don’t lower yourself to their level. Grin and bear it, then go home, pour a nice glass of wine and vent to your hubby. Just do what’s necessary to get past the gatekeeper so you can let your skills shine for the person who really counts - the hiring manager!

P.S. So, what was my recourse? Well, I submitted an Interactive Customer Evaluation, better known as an ICE comment!  This is an Army-wide customer service satisfaction survey program. It is utilized to enhance and improve services at a variety of offices throughout the Army, including medical services, MWR facilities, and military/civilian personnel offices.  Having been an ICE Manager, I know that if you ask to be contacted, they must respond to you within 72 hours and these comments are tracked by senior leadership. 

Check it out at http://ice.disa.mil/

We’ve all been there … trying to get through the gate. Sometimes we’re late, sometimes we’re sick, sometimes we just have screaming children in the backseat and the need to just get home.  Inevitably, those are the days we will be stuck in the line behind “that guy.”
 

You know “that guy.” He’s the one that tried rolling onto your installation without the proper ID and holds up progress for every single person ready to continue their day. 

As frustrating as waiting can be, we’ve also watched in horror as armed people tore through our military installations and caused terrible damage. And when those things happen, it doesn’t matter what branch of the service we are in. When things like that happen, we are one family. And as one family, we are all thinking the same thought:

“How could this happen? Can’t we stop this?”

After the Washington Naval Yard and Fort Hood shootings, the Department of Defense found themselves asking the same question. The answer? The Identity Matching Engine for Security and Analysis, or IMESA.

I could be boring and spout the technical details, but let’s be honest … those things aren’t important to us. What is important is knowing how this will probably affect our daily lives. 

So what problems can we expect, and what are some easy fixes? 

Problem: Those living off post and driving in for work will, in all likelihood, experience delays. Like any kind of new system, it will take some time to iron out the kinks. 

Fix: Leaving earlier than usual will (hopefully) take care of that. The larger your installation is, the earlier you should leave for work.

Problem: The Military and Federal police who guard our gates will probably be very, very stressed out. Although they will be trained on the new system and procedures, they will also experience people frustrated with longer wait times. 

Fix: Be patient, be kind and be quick. Heck, maybe pick up an extra cup of Starbucks for the gate guard who checks your ID! A little kindness in situations like these not only help make peoples’ day better, but it also racks up major karma points for you!

Problem: The wait is just so long.

Fix: Be patient! Bring a book on tape. Call your dad. Do the US Weekly crossword.

(I’m kidding. Don’t do a crossword puzzle while you’re driving, it’s just a bad idea.)

Seriously, though, be patient. It’s not a party for anyone, but we’re all in this together.

At this point, none of us are quite sure how smoothly this program is going to go. Once the ball is rolling, however, it is likely that we will not notice a difference from our regular, day-to-day drive times.  And let’s be honest … if a little extra time keeps our families safe, shouldn’t we invest it?

All I wanted to do was give the guy money. I had a bill to pay. I wanted to pay it. But I had to prove it was my account first. So, I gave the telephone operator my name, address and account number.

I couldn’t, however, verify the phone number they had on file for me. After seven moves and probably even more cell phones, I had no idea what phone number this credit card, who I had been doing business with for 12 years, might possibly have listed under my name.

No number, no payment. Seriously.

Welcome to the list of annoying problems that only military spouses, and maybe perhaps random, wandering nomads, experience.

1. You have no idea who has what phone number listed for you. I gave the guy mentioned above six different phone numbers from four states. No luck. Now, I have to wait for his official form to arrive in the mail so that I can correct it and actually pay my bill. Here’s to hoping he’s going to send it to the address I gave him and not something listed from 2008.
2. After a PCS move, on the first day of school, you sit down to fill out your kids’ paperwork. The line that reads, “emergency contact” makes you break into a cold sweat. And they want three names and numbers! You quickly decide that you can, in fact, list your best friend who is still stationed 2,000 miles away. It never specifically says they have to show up, just be contacted, right?
3. No, your social security number. Wait, you want mine? I can rattle off my husband’s social security number without issue but after retirement, suddenly mine became of importance. I looked at the clerk with a blank stare for a few seconds as I tried to comprehend her question and recall whether or not I even had one of those.
4. Long distance relationships. And I’m not even talking about keeping the spark alive while your spouse is deployed. Most likely all your closest friends live several thousand miles away. Your only option for years at a time is to communicate online and via phone. And frankly, this stinks. Sometimes a girl just wants to sit around with her closest girlfriends. It’s hard to do when they are all scattered across the globe.
5. When your spouse leaves the military and enters the civilian world, you are no longer important at his workplace. There are no spouse meetings. No one is interested in meeting you or keeping you and your family involved. You may never even meet his boss and certainly will never set eyes the guy’s spouse. Trust me, this is a blessing and a curse.
6. It’s time to find a job. You’ve got the skills. You’ve got the incredible resume. You have references, but not necessarily their contact info. In the military community you move every three years and most likely, so do most of your references. Of course, you don’t consider this until you are in the interview, filling out that form and realize that your boss two years ago who offered a glowing review for you anywhere, anytime, moved since then. Twice. Sigh.

So, next time you find yourself caught in a spouse-only conundrum, don’t worry. Just remember, the benefits always outweigh the minor inconveniences. Besides, you can put us down as the emergency contact. We just have to answer the phone, right?

Have you ever met that one military spouse who was so overly positive about military life that it was just annoying? They even talk about being grateful for it?!

Yeah, that is me right now so I apologize in advance. Don’t get me wrong, I am not walking around with a t-shirt on that shouts “Being a military spouse is the best job ever and nothing ever goes wrong!” But I am in a pretty good mental and emotional place right now about it all.

I have been with my husband for 12 years and a military spouse for eight of those. I am no longer “a boot” as my husband would say. Those first few years were difficult and as I look back, I had bitter moments - many of them. But with each PCS, deployment, training and billet came different challenges. With each challenge, a new lesson to learn from and put in my pocket to carry with me for next time.

Lately, my husband and I have had more serious talks about his military future. When he first joined the Marine Corps, it was 100 percent his decision. I accepted the invitation to join him along for this ride and made sacrifices to do so. For a long time I held on to some resentment which I think caused much of my difficulty in transitioning to this lifestyle. This military life thing was hard and I didn’t know what to expect!

Once I opened my eyes to the benefits (living in new places, meeting people who knew what I was going through) I really began to find happiness. I started asking questions. I got involved. Today, I really appreciate that my Marine openly talks about his career with me and makes decisions that are best for our family. The number one lesson we have learned as a military family is communication. This Marine thing may have not been my dream but it is the path we were given and at the end of each day, I am grateful for what we have accomplished together.

Now, back to my annoying positivity! We have started to look and discuss the pros and cons of his extending his career to 20 years. As we list out the advantages and disadvantages of a civilian life right now, we realized how much security we have in my husband’s job right now. Although the benefits may not be glorious to some, we do have a nice roof over our head, food on the table, health insurance and secure income twice a month. As much as I want my own career, I do not have to have one right now to make our ends meet. I am able to stay home with my young children while my husband serves his country. For right now, this works for us. The thought of giving up that security scares me. Civilian life is unknown and terrifying.

So with that, I have looked at this lifestyle a whole new way. Instead of focusing on the things military life has made difficult, I am focusing on what it has given me. Since having that outlook, I have become a much happier military wife. I cannot speak for everyone in the military. But the more I volunteer with organizations on base, the more I talk to my husband about his career and the more I get involved - the more grateful I am for this opportunity.

We may not be in this for the full 20 year haul and things may get more difficult for us in or out of the military, but for right now we are happy and healthy. No PCS. No deployment this year.  What more can you ask for?

How many schools have your kids attended since starting kindergarten?

Military kids change schools a lot, that's no secret. What often is hard to find is the best schools at your new duty station, especially if you live off base. There are two websites that we love that can help make the processing of choosing a school much easier.

First, www.greatschools.org allows users to input the name of any school or any county in the country and will pull that school's basic info, to include student and teacher diversity, test scores and extracurricular activities.

There is also a section where visitors can leave a review of the school. There is no indication that the website administrators review each of these for accuracy. And let's face it, unhappy people tend to spread the word more often than people who have had a good experience. So, if you find a very poor review, you may want to look at the school data, visit the campus if possible and ask questions before you place the school squarely in the "off limits" category.

The website includes data for preschool - 12th grade at both public and private institutions.

The second great school-finding tool can be found at http://www.usnews.com/education/best-high-schools

This is the annual ranking of U.S. high schools by U.S. News & World Report. The magazine does a thorough study of more than 19,400 public schools in the nation and examines their test scores, student expectations (11 AP classes to graduate at the number 1 school!) and how well they prepare students for college.

The annual report gives report cards for each of those schools and ranks the top in the nation and each state.

Now, clearly, the military lifestyle is not going to allow us all to move squarely into the top high school district in the nation (located in Dallas, Texas, by the way). And in many cases, the schools closest to your duty station will fall pretty far down the list.

Hopefully, these two websites can help you find the best school choices in your area and from there you can begin your house search.