Holly Bates

Remember the GS-7 job I decided I wasn’t sure I wanted anymore? Well, according to my USAJOBS notification, I didn’t pass the online questionnaire. Huh?

Here’s what the email said:

“To be considered for this position, an applicant must attain a passing score on our online assessment tool. Unfortunately, you did not receive a passing score on the assessment.”

I have worked for the federal government for 20 years and I have never received a reply like this before. I was so certain I would get the job simply because I didn’t want it. I guess karma really will bite you when you cop an attitude.

While I awaited for what turned out to be this awful response, I applied for other jobs, including several GS-9 and GS-11 positions. I hoped to get referred for one of these positions before the GS-7 job came back which would force me to take that job or lose my Spousal Preference. You’ll recall I mentioned in my previous post that I must submit an application for any position CPO contacts me about or lose my eligibility under PPP, Program S. 

I was happy to see I qualified for most of these GS-9 and GS-11 positions. Unfortunately, however, I wasn’t in the group of “best-qualified applicants.” Basically, I was classified as at least minimally qualified, but not in the group referred to the hiring official for consideration. 

Anyway, I contacted the HR Specialist at CPO who notified me of the positions. I want to find out which of my answers resulted in me not passing the online assessment. However, I haven’t heard back from her yet. Meanwhile, hubby is increasing the pressure on me to find a paying job especially as the holidays are quickly approaching and shortly thereafter, his retirement. 

Sometimes, it feels like we’re moving backwards. When we first married, we both worked. We had a significant amount of disposable income, which we freely spent enjoying our time in the DC/Baltimore area. And this is how we’ve pretty much been able to live our life up until these last two duty stations, when I didn’t work. 

We should be sitting on a large retirement nest egg, not struggling on one income, but that is where we are now. I can only hope and pray there is an awesome job out there waiting for me and that we just haven’t found each other yet because the timing isn’t right.

“We don’t get a lot of those guys.”

That’s the response I hear over and over from veterans who fill the roster at our local VFW, American Legion and Disabled Veterans’ Association.

Those guys. Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans. Young members. All of the above.

After my husband retired it was a relief, at first, to empty my calendar of FRG meetings, luncheons and other spouse trappings that come with military life. Then, we moved. And I wasn’t really sure where the heck I was supposed to go to make friends.

Love them or hate them, those exhausting, sometimes drama-filled, always too long meetings were a good place to meet your new best friend. As retirees, we moved to a small town where everyone knew everyone, except for us, and that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. We were the odd man out.

So, we went to the local American Legion. And suddenly felt like we were attending our grandparent’s 75^th wedding anniversary. We were the token young family. We had the only kids under age 30. We were the only ones in the room under age 40. Uh oh.

Turns out this is the scene that is unfolding at veterans’ organizations across the nation. Last month The Washington Post reported that only 15 percent of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans who were eligible to join the VFW have done so. The average age of a current member is 70.

Both the VFW and the American Legion have reported rapidly declining memberships. Each organization has lost 1 million members since the 1990s. And it seems the halls full of elderly gentlemen drinking, smoking and reminiscing is turning the younger generation of warriors away.

The Post article cites a growth in local service organizations and groups that plan outings and are active physically. Young veterans and their families, it seems, aren’t ready to sit and slow down. They want to return home and continue to build their communities, not sit and be thanked for their service.

I agree. We attended a summer barbeque at the local legion hall. It was nice. People were friendly. But, we were bored. Our kids were lonely. They were stuck sitting at a table. We were stuck sitting at a table. This seriously couldn’t be as good as it gets as retirees. 

So, what to do? Change.

As the nation ages, things change. The same is true for these organizations. The Post interviewed a former Army captain in Kansas who didn’t like what he saw at his local VFW. So, he recruited his friends to join, they ran for office at the hall, won and began to morph the programming and events to serve the needs of all veterans, young and old. Their attendance skyrocketed and retired families in that town now have a place to call their own.

We will keep attending our local veterans’ organizations, and doing what we can to help them welcome and serve young veterans. I urge you to do the same. These storied organizations have celebrated 100 years of service to our veterans. But they need to change with the time. To change, they need us, military families and veterans who can show them what the new generation needs.

Please visit your VFW or American Legion Hall this Veterans’ Day. Meet the men and women who have gone before us. Volunteer to help. Build bridges between the generations and show them that we can take the helm and drive these outstanding organizations into the next century.

There are a number of websites that are available when doing research for a paper or project. You can Google any phrase and buckets of information come pouring out. 

It is easy, though, to get caught up in the volume of information and forget that not everything you read on the internet is true. When using any kind of internet-based research, it is important to use sources that contain information that can be verified by another legitimate source. 

What are considered legitimate sources, you ask?

Legitimate sources are places you find information that are, in a word, trustworthy. Here are a few sources to start you down the right road to academic research:

1. Primary sources provide first-hand information and are, as a rule, the best and most verifiable of all sources. Primary sources are original documents, works of art or other tangible things that were created during the frame of time that you are researching. Primary sources can also include academic or research works that provide new evidence or scientific findings on the topic you are researching, or can be directly quoted interviews (so long as the interviewee is someone qualified to discuss the topic at hand).  

Example: The Diary of Anne Frank would be an excellent primary source for research on life during the holocaust. However, the Hollywood film, Schindler’s List would not.

2. Secondary sources are works that evaluate and discuss a primary source, or combine to discuss several sources. These works often include summaries, analysis, pictures or personal interpretations of a primary source. While often reliable, secondary sources are at least one step removed from a primary source. What does “one step removed” mean? In short, it means that the information presented that discusses the primary source is valid, and can be verified by another legitimate primary or secondary source.

Example: For academic purposes, your class text can be an excellent secondary   source. They are often well researched, well written, have been reviewed by peers and accepted by the scholarly community. If the thought of using textbooks makes your eyes glaze over with boredom, other secondary source options include encyclopedias, articles and certain documentaries. 

For research and academic writing, these two types of sources should be used to support your thesis. Seriously. If what you’ve found falls outside of the primary or secondary source definitions, seems poorly written, or just generally seems like it won’t pass muster, scrap it. Just get rid of that bad boy and find another source. Although finding another may seem like adding work, your grade will thank you!  

A military spouse can move herself, her dogs, her kids, her job and her house across the country, all alone.

She can live in a state where she knows no one and nothing. She can start over every few years. She can join a new school board, a new family readiness group, a new cellphone network.

“It’s the little things, like having to get new curtains for each new house,” that sets a military spouse apart from her peers married to those out of the service, said Simone Velasquez Hoover, the executive director of the southeast branch of Operation Homefront, a non-profit that works for the betterment of military families.
 

But when times get tough, real tough, like when annual pay raises are slashed, housing costs increase and medical facilities are changed. Who do military families turn to?

But it’s the very unique nature of the military spouse that can make things so confusing when tough times come, Hoover said.

When a traditional support network is gone, a very young family can become very isolated and unsure where to seek help. It’s important to understand where to turn and who to turn to so a military spouse can advocate for themselves, said the team from Army Wife Network (AWN).

“Find an organization you trust to be your voice,” AWN said.

Blue Star Families, the Military Officers Association of America and the Association of the United States Army all work on a government level for families, AWN said. Individuals can also reach out, via phone call, e-mail, letter, and social media, to government representatives to let them know what dependents need and want.

For instance, Blue Star Families puts out a yearly Military Family Lifestyle Survey, which they present to the Department of Defense and U.S. Congress, when the results are tallied. Filling out the survey helps notify government officials of your needs and concerns, AWN said.

“Our right to vote is also an effective way to cause change,” the team said.

“In my experience, not all dependents advocate for themselves,” said Emily Grace, AWN expert editor and graphic designer. “I think there is a lingering misconception that being your own advocate means going out with an air horn and being the loudest voice in the room, or that it might negatively affect your spouse’s career. The trick is knowing when to speak up and when to let it go. Not everything is a cause, so picking your battles is key. Want to get involved? Get out of your bubble and put yourself out there.”

Grace said to decide what matters to you and see where you can affect change, “Even on the smallest level.”

Hoover and Operation Homefront are one such organization that relies on volunteers in the military community to tell them what needs exist and where they exist at.

“We always try to keep an ear to the ground. If there’s a military installation in the community, we reach out to the service members and the family support networks,” Hoover said.

There are more than 900 non-profits who work with the military, she said, and “no one organization can do it all. Like all of us, they all have different talents and skill sets.”

Navigating organizations and sources of information can be difficult.

“No one place can you go and get all the answers,” Hoover said.  “All of it is constantly changing.”

Some sources that are big clearinghouses, like Military OneSource, are a good place to start, Hoover and the AWN team agree. The Military Times and military installation Web sites are also good places to get “official” information.

Army Wife Network also runs a Resource Database, where all resources have been approved and organized by the team, they said.

“Of course, doing what we do, we [also] keep an eye on all the social sites…just to have a finger on the pulse of what spouses are out there discussing, but if you want a go-to resource, the social sites aren’t always the best source,” AWN said.

AWN likes National Public Radio when they are looking for accurate information from a non-military site.

Still, one of the best resources can be yourself, AWN said.

“Stay educated and up-to-date on what is happening within our larger community and government,” AWN said.

“I have been involved in many advocacy efforts championed by Blue Star Families, and I’ve seen progress made in making our voice known to leaders,” said Janet McIntosh, the social media coordinator and experience editor for AWN.

Education can also improve your personal adversities, Hoover said.

“If you know you have a problem, seek professional advice,” she said.

Attorneys and accountants, for instance, often have “robust” volunteer programs through their member associations, where they volunteer their time to help military families who need their services but can’t afford them.

And don’t be afraid to use the resources out there, said Tara Crooks, AWN founder.

“Educate yourself on what is out there, and use those resources that best help you and your family,” she said.

Because if military families aren’t using them, they “risk losing them,” she added.

It’s also important to get involved in the family support and family readiness groups most military installations boast, AWN and Hoover agreed. Your experience and expertise can often help others.

“You absolutely can immerse yourself in the online milspouse world and see spouses making a difference every day.  You can also just volunteer at your local installation and see the incredible volunteers making a difference,” Crooks said.

Crooks said even the simple change you can effect by bringing a family some food will make a bigger difference than you think.

“When a spouse thanks you for providing them with resources they didn’t know they had and how have made their lives a bit easier, that is an incredible experience, and one that will never leave me,” said AWN’s McIntosh. “I have a passion for helping spouses and providing them with the tools to empower them and assist them in creating the best life they can while their family is serving our country.”

“Military spouses are amazing,” Crooks said. “The amount of work they put into their own community with their many talents is inspiring, to say the least.”
 

Who needs the spooks and haunted stories of Halloween when you have to deal with the red tape that is the military? Sometimes the things military spouses deal with on a daily basis are enough to scare the bejeezus out of civilian folk.

1. Are we going to be paid? Sure, we’re extremely proud to defend our nation’s honor. But when our nation’s politicians can’t decide on a budget, well, that pride turns to anger and then worry as we try to figure out how to pay the next month worth of bills, on well, nothing. If we can balance children, full-time jobs, earning a degree, volunteering and caring for the home surely they can sit in their office for a week and devise a plan that will let us continue to be paid for our service without giving us all ulcers as we wait and plead and hope that they will come through. Most civilians can’t imagine and would not continue to work for no pay or the threat of no pay.

2. We were paid, too much! Oh the horror of opening your bank account and realizing that DFAS overpaid you. Don’t move a muscle. Seriously. Don’t withdraw it. Don’t try to pay it back. And for the love of God, don’t spend it. They will take it back. Whenever they darn well feel like it. It may be tomorrow, it may be six months from now. And they don’t just withdraw it from your account, they dock your paycheck. So sometime in the future, be certain, you will have a smaller paycheck, if any paycheck at all. And if you already spent the extra money, you are out of luck.

3. TMO lost, broke, smashed your stuff. Moving can be like Christmas. You open boxes after months of living in hotels and empty housing to unveil things you own that you totally forgot about, and it is awesome! And then you open some boxes to find the stuff you had been praying for the last 90 days would make the trip unscathed has not only been damaged but absolutely destroyed. Throw in the fact that you have a limited time to submit a claim to be reimbursed for those items. And, you will probably forget about that date as you navigate the busy schedule of a cross-country move until it’s too late, meaning moving can be a real nightmare. 

4. Everyone knows, everything. Living on base is a bit like living in a fishbowl. Military families are notoriously gossipy. And, the houses are close together so when you are screaming at your kids, or your husband for that matter, most of the neighborhood can hear your tirade drifting through the open windows. And because it is the unit’s job to make sure your family is doing ok, it essentially makes it their job to know what is happening in your household: the good, the bad and the ugly. This is a great thing when you are married to an E-3, pregnant with twins and already have four kids and no money for Thanksgiving dinner because that unit is most likely going to make sure your family eats on the holiday. This is a bad thing when you are having a meltdown in the commissary because your twins just knocked over an entire display of tampons and you are caught screaming and cussing as your husband’s commander’s wife walks by. You eventually get the feeling you are almost always being watched, by someone.

5. The commissary – the day before a holiday. Want to know what the night of the living dead actually looks like? Check the mile long line at the commissary before any four-day weekend or major holiday. That bad boy stretches from the check-out and wraps its way through the frozen food, past the milk and meat and almost into the veggie aisles, filled with exhausted soldiers, harried moms and crying children all staring blankly ahead as they wait desperately to inch forward. Why can one of the largest military forces on the planet manage to plan and execute massive surprise attacks on other nation’s but fail to buy buns and beer more than 24-hours before the Fourth of July? That, my friends, is an unsolved mystery.

By Lisa Kain

Army spouse Stefanie was far from family, and her husband was on deployment far from home. She spent many days and nights studying YouTube sewing sessions and was fascinated with the hobby. The mother of two was already dealing with caring for the homefront alone and working through deployment, so why not built a business from the ground up. And that meant learning to sew. Stefanie began with a few tutus and burp cloths and now her company, Abby Maddy, designs and produces an entire line of accessories to include scarves, earrings and clutches, and this fall, was coveted by Hollywood royal Tori Spelling.

Staff writer Lisa Kain sat down with Stefanie to discuss the ups and downs of starting a business as a military spouse (and while dealing with deployment!)

1. What was the inspiration in starting your business? How did the idea come about? My daughter (Abigail Madison) the namesake of my company was definitely my inspiration. I started Abby Maddy when she was only 18-months-old and I was pregnant with my son. At the time, my father was terminally ill with cancer and my husband was about to deploy again. There was a lot going on back then, and now when I look back on it, I realize just how therapeutic launching a business was for me. Originally, our line consisted of baby items, until we phased them out in 2013. There were a lot of late nights spent sitting at my dining room table with a sewing machine and a computer. Oh yeah, did I mention I didn’t know how to sew and I had to teach myself? There was a lot on my mind back then and working through each piece of Abby Maddy was soothing to me and still is.

What have been some of your failures, and what you learned from them? I’m always trying new things, sometimes they work, sometimes, they don’t. I take notes and move on! It absolutely makes me crazy when someone has a beautiful business but gives it up after one set back! Failures and mistakes are going to happen. Consider it a learning experience and keep going. I would personally never want to be in business with someone who hasn’t experienced failure at least once.

How many hours do you work, on average? It varies greatly, but during the school year and at the height of new launches, 20-30 hours a week.

Is this your first business? If not, what were your others, and what happened to them? It’s my first time launching my own brand, but I’ve been in love with business for as long as I can remember. I learned retail at an early age working in my grandmother’s store -  when I had to use a chair to be able to reach the cash register. I started my own direct sales business from my dorm room at age 19. It’s in my blood.

How did you finance your business and what was the process like? It’s important to me to build a debt-free business, and for the most part, we have done just that. In the beginning I carried a few items on my website that I didn’t make and the cash flow from those items financed my time to make the others. Eventually we phased those items out and now everything on the site is handmade in the studio. I am super budget conscious and I still teach sewing classes to help add cash flow to the business. It seems there is always an endless list of expenditures for a growing business!

How many employees do you have? I have an assistant, and a few others that help out on an as-needed basis, plus lots of great businesses we work with on marketing, branding, website design, etc. We’re hoping to add another team member this fall.

What is an average work day like for you? Well I’m a mom of a 6-year-old about to start kindergarten and a 3-year-old who is in preschool so there is no average day, it seems. Most school mornings, I’m up before the kids, have coffee, check emails, do a little social media posting on our various accounts, dress everyone, breakfast, get everyone off to school, then back to work for about two or three hours until it’s time to pick up my youngest. After lunch when everyone is down for nap, I work a bit more until late afternoon. Usually we try to do a craft, activity or play outside for a bit. Then its dinner, bath, bedtimes and more work in the evenings for me! They can be long days, especially when my husband is deployed or TDY but I absolutely love what I do, so it never feels like work.

Who are your customers?  Initially, like most businesses, it was family and friends, but now we have customers all over. Generally, its women ages 25-45, but then again, sometimes it surprises me!

What are the most crucial things you have done to grow your business? Just do a little bit each day. You can’t go weeks and months in between product or updates. You have to stay relevant and stay in front of your customer. That’s just the reality of small business. And leave no stone unturned, Don’t listen to negative people and don’t let anyone plant pre-formed opinions in your head. Go to networking groups, hold speaking engagements and meet up with other business owners. Building your network is crucial- and a very important skill to have as a military spouse!

What plans do you have for expansion? Right now we are working hard at putting Abby Maddy in boutiques. So far we’ve had great feedback and our line seems to work well with fashion forward, independent shops. It’s been a lot of fun and whole new education working with retailers! But it is definitely where I want to be!

What has been your most effective marketing tactic or technique? We’re always trying new things, but you just can’t beat word of mouth advertising. When people love you, and love your products, especially women, they tell everyone. Take care of your customers, under promise and over deliver and your customers won’t let you down.

What are some of the challenges you have faced being an entrepreneur while living a military lifestyle? There are a lot of challenges, the obvious, of course, is how much we move, and not really being able to open a storefront. But I’ve always viewed it more as an opportunity. With every move we are planting our business in a new place and since I’m online, my customers are very loyal to me when I move. It also opens doors to contact retailers about having Abby Maddy being carried in their store - I have a connection to so many places that it allows my business to have roots that are as deep as they are wide.

What three pieces of advice would you offer entrepreneurs starting out today? 1) Start small, there is no shame in taking it slow. Don’t try to do too much right from the beginning. 2) Know that you are not going to get paid for a long time and make peace with it. 3) Whatever you do, don’t quit!

Visit Abby Maddy Designs on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/AbbyMaddyDesigns

Visit the website and shop! www.abbymaddy.com

Visit the Blog for tips and inspiration! www.abbymaddyinpired.com

Follow us on Pinterest! http://www.pinterest.com/abbymaddy/

Christmas is coming, which means some employers will be hiring extra staff to manage larger crowds and demand during the holiday season. Even if seasonal employment is not your ultimate goal, those part-time jobs can be turned into a permanent gig by employees with great attitude and work ethics.

To kick off your holiday-time job search, check out these upcoming, spouse and military-focused hiring fairs. Remember to register as soon as you decide to attend. Some fairs limit the amount of attendees and do not allow walk-ins.

Nov. 1

Macomb County, MI

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/macomb-county-mi

Nov. 3

Germany

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/eucom

Nov. 5

Fort Bliss, Texas

Reception: http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-bliss-tx-military-spouse-networking-reception

Hiring fair: http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-bliss-tx-military-spouse-hiring-fair

Nov. 6

Pensacola, Fl.

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/pensacola-fl

Nov. 8

Detroit, MI

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-bliss-tx-military-spouse-hiring-fair

Nov. 11

Des Moines, IA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/des-moines-ia-2

Orlando, FL

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/orlando-fl-4

Nov. 12

Portland, ME

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/portland-me-0

Washington D.C.

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/joint-base-anacostia-bolling-dc-0

Nov. 13

Los Angeles, CA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/los-angelesgardena-ca

Nov. 14

Portland, OR

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/portland-or-2

Nov. 17

Leavenworth, KS

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-leavenworth-ks

Reno, NV

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/reno-nv-2

Nov. 18

Warwick, RI

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/warwick-ri-3

Ft. Jackson, SC

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-jacksoncolumbia-sc

Nashville, TN

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/events/hiringfairs?page=1

Pittsburgh, PA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/pittsburgh-forum

Nov. 19

Wright-Patterson AFB, OH

Reception

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/wright-patterson-afb-oh-military-spouse-networking-reception

Nov. 20

Wright-Patterson AFB, OH

Hiring Fair

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/wright-patterson-afb-oh-military-spouse-networking-reception

By Tiffany Shedd

No one ever wants to find out that they or one of their family members has a health problem. But once you know, if you’re like me, you probably go through a process of dealing with that information.

My first reaction is usually to call my mom (assuming my husband was with me when I got the news). My second step is usually to cry. When I’m done bawling my eyes out (an ugly cry is good for the soul every now and then), I generally get irrationally angry. Why is this happening? What have we done to cause this? And when I can’t answer those questions, I start looking at the questions I can answer. I turn to one of my strengths, research.

I love to dig into new topics and not stop until I feel like I know everything there is I can possibly know.

When my son was diagnosed with epilepsy, one of the first pieces of advice I got from the emergency room doctor was to not Google epilepsy. She told me that if I needed to find information to go to the Epilepsy Foundation website.

Surprisingly, I followed her advice, even though it went against all my instincts. We have so few answers about the whys in regards to my son’s epilepsy, it was just easier to not drive myself crazy trying to figure it out on my own.

Because I have taken a less inquisitive attitude toward my son’s diagnosis, I turned my need to do research on to another subject, the Exceptional Family Member Program. Before my son was diagnosed, all I knew about EFMP was that dependents had to be screened before they were granted permission to PCS with their spouse.

I didn’t understand why that was, and frankly, I was a little scared that I might not get to be with my husband if I was deemed “exceptional.” Of course, I am not “exceptional,” so I had no reason to dig any deeper when we were first married. I just thought it was another hoop the Army liked to see me jump through every three years.

If you’re just coming to the EFMP program or whether you’re a long time veteran of it, there may be information and resources that you may not know about. The first place I started my research was with the U.S. Army Medical Department website. They have an entire section devoted to explaining the EFMP program. You can find out why it is mandatory for you or your family members to enroll in the program, and, you can find out how to begin the process.

Beginning the process can seem daunting. I was lucky, because my son’s primary care manager is an EFMP expert and was very kind and understanding in helping me through it. If you or your family member has an on post PCM, the process is one step simpler, because these providers are trained and know how to help you through the process. Usually that means once you or your child has had a special need identified, whether it be special medical needs or special educational needs, you’ll be referred to the EFMP office, and they will provide you with paperwork to begin the enrollment process. Or if you’re like me and have already looked up all the information, you probably already downloaded and filled out your part of the DD Form 2792.

 If you’re seeing an off-post provider, your process may be a bit more involved. They may or may not know about the EFMP program. Once your PCM has determined your need, you can take that information with you to the EFMP office on a military facility where you’re stationed. Again, they will give you the paperwork that will get you started. Or you may have already gotten your head start.

It is a lot of paperwork, 13 pages to be exact. Be very thorough and precise when filling it out. You will likely need your spouse’s help, unless you’re one of those informed spouses who actually knows the duty phone number (unlike me). Next, you’ll need to make an appointment with your PCM to have them go through the form and fill in the portions of it that you cannot, which is basically everything after page 2, which is actually physically page 4 (it is very confusing).

When the paperwork is all done and turned in, it’s out of your hands. It will be reviewed by medical personnel to determine if you’re eligible for the program. This part can take a while. Waiting is never fun, but try to be patient. This program is one of the many that has taken a hit in staffing with the recent DOD budget cuts.

If you think that it is taking an extraordinarily long time, by that I mean months, give the office a call and find out where they are in the process. If you’re like me, you may already be enrolled, and no one bothered to tell you.

Don’t forget that the most important thing to remember when you’re trying to get through the process is that you’re doing this so that you or your child or children will be able to receive the best possible care and if that means you have to make a couple of extra trips to the EFMP office to replace misplaced forms, so be it.

There’s a lot of unbelievable things that we witness as military wives, but sometimes the things we hear are just the stuff of modern fairy tales. Staff writer Sandra Moyer is here to dust the darkness off those closely held, widely believed rumors in our new monthly column, military myth busters.

Myth: You can charged with damaging government property for suffering a severe sunburn.

Background: There are many times that service members (including myself) have been told that getting a sunburn can earn them consequences under the Uniform Code of Military Justice’s (UCMJ). Typically, the portion of the UCMJ that is used to enforce the claim is Article 108, which deals with the destruction of government property.

Research and Analysis: Under Article 108, people and property are discussed separately, rather than people being considered property. That is because people are not property. They cannot be assigned a monetary worth, and, are not legally subject to being purchased or sold. That being the case, a sunburn on a service member is simply not defined as damaging government property.

Unfortunately, I can’t drop my microphone and walk out just yet, because there are two another articles of the UCMJ that make this situation sticky.

Article 115 refers to malingering, which is just a fancy word for faking or exaggerating an illness or injury in order to avoid duty. The issue here means that someone would not only have to get sunburned, but also excessively seek medical treatment and claim that because of the burn they are incapable of performing their duties.

Article 192 references disobeying direct or lawful orders or regulations . . . and that’s where the real possibility of reprimand comes into play. If a regulation or someone appointed over a service member clearly states that, say, service members must stay inside to avoid sunburn (which is likely never, ever going to actually be said) and a service member willfully disobeys that order and gets a sunburn, they could indeed be punished for disobeying that order. As the chances of anyone being ordered to stay inside to avoid sunburn are seriously slim to none, so are the chances of someone being punished for violating it.

Myth (mostly) Busted: The short answer to this question is no, you cannot be charged with damaging government property for getting a sunburn. The longer answer is that service members are not free to damage themselves all willy-nilly without the possibility of repercussion.

Regardless, you should just be smart about your health and your job and follow the wise words of Mary Schmich: “Wear sunscreen.”

When my children complain that they do not have their own rooms, I tell them I had my own room for exactly one year.

As a child, I shared with siblings. In college, I shared with roommates. And when I finally moved overseas for my job, then and only then did I have my own sweet, sanctuary of space. My very own room. And then I met my husband.

So much for personal space. He dropped his boots and Kevlar helmet in the middle of the joint and I’ve been tripping on them ever since.

But marriage means a lot of sharing. This week, Pamela McBride wrote about sharing that new last name, and whether it is a good move for you, career-wise.

And with the recent marriage of the world’s most eligible bachelor, George Clooney, to London-based attorney Amal Alamuddin, the decision to change monikers is a hot topic. The high-profile career woman, a stranger to tabloid readers, but a power player in international circles, will now be known as Mrs. Clooney, both personally and professionally.

Professional women everywhere, who have built a brand with their maiden name, may have shuddered a little at the thought. Most writers I know still use their maiden name, having married long after their byline became a permanent fixture on the front page. Performers can find themselves stuck in the same situation, as will any professional who makes a living by being recognized by their name.

But, it seems the somewhat antiquated practice is seeing a resurgence. A 2013 poll found that just 8 percent of women are choosing to keep their maiden name. That is down from a whopping 23 percent in the mid-90s.

So, as a newly minted military wife who is learning the lingo, the locations and probably dealing with deployment, here is a yet another to do list, to make sure that you are known as Mrs., not just among your friends and co-workers, but to the government and other official sources.

This list is courtesy of www.bankrate.com

1. Have copies of your marriage certificate on hand. You will need proof of your union and the Social Security Administration will request a copy that you will never receive back.
2. Contact the Social Security administration first. Don’t worry if your address labels are incorrect, worry first that your name matches your social security number. If it doesn’t, it could impact your payroll and tax return.
3. Update your driver’s license and voter registration.
4. Tell your employer, this may also be a good time to look over your benefits and insurance coverage now that you have a new family member
5. Contact your bank. This change will most likely have to be made in person, with proof, such as the marriage certificate or a new driver’s license.
6. Tell your creditors. Still receiving bills and paying them, so it doesn’t matter, right? Wrong. If you are still paying your bills under your maiden name, you will not build credit under your correct name. So, next time you apply for a loan, with stellar credit you’ve built up since the honeymoon, you will be declined. Why? Because the old you built the good credit, not the married you.
7. Finally, make it a point to compose a list of all the professional associations, doctor’s offices, pharmacies, associations and other places that you frequent. They all need to know who you are now too.

And don’t forget to practice that new signature!