Paperwork. You receive lots of it as a military family. Keep it.

The military loves a paper trail. It thrives on the red tape that requires you to produce a shot record from three military hospitals ago for your child who is now 17 and requires no shots. Military officials want everything documented and proof that it was documented – in triplicate.

Some of this, I think is a little ridiculous.

PCS orders and shipping documents, however, never, ever throw them away- even after your service member has kicked his boots to the side and retired for good.

I had heard tale of soldiers who had received a bill for moving their household goods years after they retired. There was the story of the sergeant major from his old unit (though no one could seem to recall his name) who had moved to Maine and was only authorized to move as far as Texas when he retired.

As the story goes, he received a bill for the entire move $13,000, payable now.

There have been other rumors and tales of woe and warning passed down over the years. I believed them, sort of.

When we left our last duty station for retirement, I dutifully checked to make sure we were moving to an area within our authorized region – no further than his home of record.

I kept every shipping document, weight tally and list of professional goods that we were allowed.

And I’m glad I did.

Seven months after settling into retired life with nary a word from Uncle Sam, we received a bill, from the Army for overages on our shipping allowance: $2,700, payable now.

Gah!

The only thing that saved us from paying it was the fact that in the bottom of our last suitcase, still unpacked I might add, was a heap of documents that showed that $2,700 was accounted for in his professional gear, a cost we were not required to pay.

One fax later and the problem was fixed.

This story would have a very different ending if I hadn’t saved that paperwork. There would have been a lot of tears, swearing and calls to government officials that would have ended the same way: no paperwork proof (in triplicate) means you pay the fine.

So friends, as you head into 2015 with a resolution to clean up, clean out and organize, don’t, just don’t throw that military paperwork aside. Buy a nice plastic box, dump it in, seal it up, scrawl the words “military stuff” across the top and hope you never have to go looking for it in a panic.

And if you do, trust me, it could mean the difference between losing thousands of dollars or simply faxing a single sheet of paper.

Our neighbors have just a few weeks, and they are leaving the Navy.

They are finished with their time.  They are at the end of their contract.  The jig is up, as they say.

It’s kind of shocking to hear them talk about it.  To know they’re moving back to Pennsylvania and the home they’ve been renting out for years.  To hear them discussing schools for their kids and whether they need to sell one of their cars before or after they move back.

They’re both job hunting.  Selling their house here.  Garage-selling everything they don’t plan to take with them.  Talking to their children about moving just one more time.

I’m really happy for them.  They are excited for the next chapter.

But it has both my husband and I thinking about what we would do when our time with the Navy is over.

It’s hard to picture, honestly.

Being a military family isn’t just an outfit we put on every day.  It’s like an extra limb.

Every time someone asks me a question or sends me an invitation, I calculate in my head where my husband will be or won’t be.

We don’t follow a normal calendar.  We follow the deployment calendar the Navy changes constantly. 

 We are reliant on a grocery store that’s closed on Mondays.  You can never leave the house without seeing someone you know.

And we all speak a different, coded language, sometimes communicating with just a nod or a wink or a shrug that can mean the world.

But what about when we don’t?

What about when “How are you doing?” is just that, instead of code for “Your husband is deployed. Can I offer you some help?”

It will be a happy time, to move on and out of the military.  But I think it may be a little bewildering, too.

It’s losing part of our identity.  It’s who we’ve been for 10, 13, or 27 years.  It’s how we’ve put food on the table; it’s affected how we celebrate holidays.

It’s where we made friends and homes and memories.

It is, in essence, just a job.  But I think for most military families, it’s more than that.

It encompasses more of our lives.  It affects day-to-day happenings.  We wouldn’t live in Georgia or Connecticut or Hawaii if it weren’t for the Navy.

It’s not everything we are.  But it’s a huge thing.

And it’s going to be the missing limb for a while when we finally separate.

Sure, it’s exciting.  But it’s also a little scary, too.

Is finding a job your New Year’s Resolution?

Then kick-start that goal by signing up for, and attending, a job fair.

Check out these job fairs coming to military bases around the country in January. Remember, you must register, so click, sign up and then pour yourself some eggnog. Here's to a happy holiday and an easy return to the job hunt!

Find the hiring fair schedule for the entire year here: http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/events/hiringfairs

Jan. 8

North Charleston, S.C.

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/charleston-hiring-fair

Virtual Job Fair

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/virtual-job-fair-4

Jan. 9

Washington D.C.

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/nbc4-dc-health-and-fitness-expo

Jan. 13

Camp Pendleton, CA

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/camp-pendleton-recovering-warrior-caregiver-employment-conference

Tempe, AZ

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/phoenix-hiring-fair

Jan. 15

Bridgeport, CT

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/fairfield-hiring-fair

Jan. 21

Fort Campbell, KY

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-campbell-military-spouse-networking-reception

Jan. 22

New Castle, DE

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/wilmington-hiring-fair

Fort Campbell, KY

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/ft-campbell-military-spouse-hiring-fair

Jan. 28

Albuquerque, NM

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/albuquerque-hiring-fair

Jan. 29

Joint Base Lewis-McChord, WA

Feb. 4

Travis AFB, CA – Networking Reception

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/travis-afb-military-spouse-networking-reception

Los Angeles, Ca – Recovering Warriors and Caregivers Employment Conference http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/los-angeles-recovering-warrior-caregiver-employment-conference

Feb. 5

Travis AFB, CA – Hiring Fair

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/travis-afb-military-spouse-hiring-fair

Feb. 7

Detroit, MI

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/detroit-hiring-fair

Well, only part of that is true.

Chicago is a city. However, it is also a style of writing.

It is one of the three writing styles that are required for almost every paper that we will ever write in our academic lives. The format that is required for a research paper is usually specific to a subject field. 

Sounds easy, right? Well, the explanation is pretty much where the ease ends. And although things can get a little (actually, a lot) murkier, don’t panic. Why? Because I like to work smarter, not harder.

So here are the quick and dirty details of the three types of academic writing styles, complete with the place to go for answers. So, in the words of the great Samuel L. Jackson, “Hold onto your butts.”

MLA:

The Modern Language Association (MLA) style is currently in its 7^th edition, and provides a set of guidelines for works that are centered on the Arts and Humanities. English, all types of arts, languages, etc. utilize the MLA style. If your degree involves the words “of Arts”, get comfy-cozy with MLA, because it is going to be your bread and butter.

APA:

The American Psychological Association (APA) style is currently in its 6^th edition. It is the go-to format for both hard and social sciences, like medicine, psychology, sociology, and social work.

CMS/Chicago:

The Chicago Manual of Style, or CMS, is now in its 16^th edition. Like MLA, it is used frequently within the Arts (particularly literature). Unlike MLA, CMS is used for research of sources that take place within specific historical frames of time or context. Although CMS is not an uncommon format, it is encountered typically in publishing, graduate, and post-grad work. If you plan on continuing your education into the ultra-awesome realm and/or having your amazing academic works published, CMS is a need-to-know.

Any time you plug any of these style terms into a search bar, your first response will almost always be for Purdue University’s Online Writing Lab. Click that link.

I promise, it’s okay if you are not a student of Purdue University.

It’s okay that it says OWL, and you are not going to school for any kind of avian science.

Purdue OWL is the go-to source for all of your formatting needs. They offer more than 200 resources for academic and professional writing, including research, grammar, writing mechanics, job search writing, and English as a Second Language (ESL). 

Purdue is also the reigning authority for … wait for it … all three styles of academic writing! They have examples of spacing, reference pages, headers, and footers, hanging indentation, weird citations - the works! 

The works. Get it? Okay, so I like a good academic-writing pun. Stop judging me and go write your paper.

Happy New Year! Did you make a resolution? Did you break it already? It's ok. It happens.

But here is a resolution you should and can keep: stay updated on legislation related to military issues and pay.

I know. Big words. Confusing government red tape. And, it's not exactly exciting reading material.

But it's important. And we, as military families, are on the chopping block.

The government spends too much on defense. This has been re-iterated by every budget analyst and government hack for the past several years. It's tough to cut weapons, ships and vehicles.

What's left? Military families.

They will, can and have cut our benefits. And more is coming. Unless, we make a resolution to pay attention, speak up and stand up for ourselves.

Some of the past cuts have been small. So much that after a week or two we ceased to notice. The arts and crafts center on base was shut down. The staff family readiness coordinators were pink-slipped, hours were cut at the commissary.

These changes stink, but we can live with them.

Now, budget analysts want health care benefits for military families slashed as well as pay for retirees. They want military families to take on the brunt of the extra costs and pull them out of their own pockets.

Friends, those pockets are already empty. It's time to pay attention. Make a resolution to be aware of what your government is doing, to know who your representatives are and how they are voting on military issues.

Start by visiting military.com's legislative center at http://capwiz.com/military/issues/bills/

There, each individual bill is easily broken down into palatable language so you know what the bill gives, or takes, from military family members.

At Salute to Spouses we will also profile one of these pieces of legislation each month so our readers can more closely follow the issues that are most important to military families.

We know as military spouses your day is already full. You've resolved to exercise more, cut out those sweets, swear less and love more. But shouldn't you take just a little time each week to fight for the benefits your military spouse has earned on the front lines? Make this resolution, and keep it.

My friends and I signed up for 365.org

Tomorrow is it! Your last day to take a drag off that last cigarette; gorge on homemade fudge and sit gleefully on the couch with not a care in the world.

Enjoy it, for Wednesday, it begins. The first day of your New Year's Resolution. But will you keep it?

Not to bum you out, but according to statisticians, the answer is a resounding, no.

The number crunchers at www.staticbrain.com said in 2014 only 8 percent of people who set a resolution goal achieved it.

The good news may be that the younger you are, the better your chances. Of those who set goals, they said, 39 percent of those who achieved them were in their 20s.

That may be because people set some pretty lofty resolution goals. According to staticbrain.com these are the top 10 resolutions set in 2014:

1. Lose weight

2. Get organized

3. Spent less, save more

4. Enjoy life to the fullest

5. Stay fit and healthy

6. Learn Something exciting

7. Quit Smoking

8. Help others in their dreams

9. Fall in love

10. Spent more time with family

Want to make your resolution stick? The American Psychological Association has a great page of tips to help you make it past Jan. 5. Their number one hint: set easier, small goals. A resolution is about a change in lifestyle and behavior, not a huge, character change.

The group quotes psychologist Lynn Bufka, PhD who says, "Setting small, attainable goals throughout the year, instead of a singular, overwhelming goal on January 1 can help you reach whatever it is you strive for."

See the rest of her list to help you keep that resolution here: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resolution.aspx

Good luck!

If you’ve survived newborn babies and cramming for courses, chances are you’ve pulled a few all-nighters. You know how miserable it feels to drag yourself through waking hours on far too little sleep.

And if you’re like 95 percent of Americans, you’ve experienced insomnia at some point. One in 10 suffers from chronic insomnia, according to Athena Stroud, RPSGT, from the Penrose St. Francis Sleep Disorder Center in Colorado Springs. The CDC considers insufficient sleep to be a public health epidemic.

“People who have problems (sleeping) don’t always know it,” Stroud said. “The only way you know if you’re getting a good night’s sleep is how alert you are during the day, and some people really don’t know how sleepy they really are.”

If your normal pattern of resting and rising isn’t giving your body enough time to recharge, you’ll have problems concentrating. You may even find yourself nodding off behind the wheel. Stroud cited a statistic from NTSA that estimated 100,000 traffic accidents resulting in 1,500 deaths and 71,000 injuries are caused by drowsy drivers every year.

“(Lack of sleep) makes you a less effective driver,” she said. “Of course it’s going to make you a less effective studier.”

For many of us, the hours between 1-3 p.m. can be drowsy ones. Stroud says that’s when our core body temperatures drop slightly just like it does before we go to sleep at night. Stroud recommends you schedule study and other cognitive-dependent activities outside of that window.

“We live in a society where the more you do on less sleep, it’s almost like bragging rights for some people,” she said. “It’d be nice if we could do siestas in the afternoon. It’d be much more helpful and make people more productive.”

Each of us is different, but most adults need about 7.5 hours of sleep per night, she said. To gauge your sleep health, Stroud recommends you pay attention to your sleep inertia, that first 30 minutes after you wake up to full alertness.

“If you don’t feel refreshed (after that first half hour), you probably didn’t get a great night’s sleep,” she said.

And if you find yourself reaching for lots of caffeinated beverages, that’s another sign your sleep may be off even if you’re going down and waking up in roughly eight-hour intervals.

“It’s not all about the hours of sleep, it’s about the quality of sleep,” Stroud said. “If you have some kind of sleep issue going on, it can fragment your sleep giving you poor quality sleep, which basically is sleep deprivation regardless of the hours you spend in bed.”

Common disorders include sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome and insomnia.

“Insomnia is the biggest and most common sleep disorder,” she said. “When you’re juggling what you’re studying and you’re working and you have kids and you’re stressed, stress can bring on insomnia.”

To combat wakeful moments in bed, Stroud suggests you get out of it. Don’t lie there worrying about how much sleep you’re missing and all you have to do. Get up and do a mundane task like loading the dishwasher or folding laundry. Once you’re sleepy, go back to bed. Don’t watch TV or get on the computer – the light from the screen is stimulating rather than sleep-inducing, she said.

“Electronics have caused a lot of insomnia,” Stroud said. “Don’t get up and do your homework.”

She also recommends reserving the bedroom for sleep and sex only.

“You don’t want to be doing your online classes in your room,” Stroud said.” You’ll start to associate that with your work.”

To set the stage for good sleep, keep your room cool and dark. Got to bed and get up at the same time every day – including weekends. If you have trouble relaxing enough to get to sleep, Stroud suggests you keep a note pad by your bed and writing down all the things that worry you. For some, that’s an effective way to set problems aside for the night, she said.  

If you’re still not getting the rest you need, consider a sleep checkup.

“If you’re in bed and you’re sleeping for eight hours and you’re not refreshed, it’s not a bad idea to see your doctor to check for sleep disorder or the potential for one,” Stroud said.

You miraculously finished all your shopping without the children finding your stash of presents.

You made it through every holiday dinner, gathering and festivity without bursting into tears.

You stayed up late every night to make sure the kids had treats to share at school, at scouts, made it to every party, went to see Santa, twice, and watched all the classic holiday movies on television.

You probably finished wrapping the last present around midnight Christmas eve as you hustled around to make sure everything was ready.

You probably were checking your email every 30 minutes or so to see if he had written. What did he have for Christmas dinner? Did he get Christmas dinner? Did your package arrive in time? Does he like the pictures you sent of the kids?

You probably woke up on Christmas morning to the sounds of delighted children and worked hard to keep that smile. Deep down you probably wanted to do was sob. All you wanted for Christmas was your husband, here. And he is not.

You cleaned up all the paper and wrappings by yourself and dragged it out to the trash can. You managed to put together every toy that needed assembled without swearing out loud. You made Christmas morning breakfast, you made Christmas dinner. You cleaned up.

You made it.

Christmas as a single parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Christmas with your partner deployed, that's another challenge altogether.

But you did it. You are stronger than you know.

And we are proud of you.

And you thought Black Friday shopping was getting out of hand.

This holiday season, retailers are pushing the envelope and many stores will be open 24 hours during the last push before Christmas Day. Some stores will be open as late as 10  p.m. on Christmas Eve.

Industry experts expect sales the weekend before Christmas to hit $10 billion, a billion more than was made on Black Friday this year.

USA Today compiled this list of store's holiday hours for major retailers:

• Toys R Us will remain open from 6 a.m. Tuesday through 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve. Stores will also be open from 6 a.m. to 2 a.m. Saturday through Monday. The toy store hopes parents will be enticed by the promise that it continues to be in stock of the hottest items, including Barbie and Playmobil, both of which are included in deals being offered this week.

• Amazon is offering same-day delivery on Christmas Eve if orders are placed by 10 a.m. for customers in 12 major metro areas. It also continues to offer a new deal of the day and other lightning deals with items between 20% and 80% off. Amazon extended the deadline for free shipping on orders guaranteed for Dec. 24 delivery to Friday (Dec. 19). Last year it was Dec. 17.

• Target is extending store hours from now until New Year's Eve, staying open until midnight on certain days, or between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. on others. Customers can order items for same-day store pickup as late as 5 p.m. on Dec. 24. Target also has savings on HDTVs, PlayStation 4, and tablets from now until Christmas Eve and will be open until 10 p.m. Christmas Eve.

* Kohl's opened its doors on Saturday and will not close them again until Christmas Eve

* Walmart also will be open not just on Christmas Eve but through the night and all day Christmas day for you really serious procrastinators

Think you are the only one who waits? Not hardly. A National Retail Federation survey found that 14.5 percent of people will by their last gift in the days before Christmas. It also found that men are more likely to wait until Christmas Eve to purchase their gifts.

Which means, take a deep breath and be ready to stand in those lines. Happy shopping!

Shopping and parties and presents, oh my!

During the holiday season, it's really tough to stay focused at work with so much else going on at home. In fact, for some businesses, the holidays can be the busiest time of year. Don’t get too caught up in this magical time. Despite relaxed schedules, holiday lunches and other seasonal perks, your jolly old boss will notice when your monthly report isn’t on his desk. So, follow these tips to enjoy the season without hurting your job performance.  

Tighten the reins on your time.

Time flies, but it flies even more when we are distracted by work things at home and by home things at work. What results is a vicious cycle of getting nothing done well in either place. Rather than letting time get away from you, rein it in by creating and following two daily schedules, one for work and one for home. Writing down what you have to do and scheduling the time to do it will give you a realistic view of what you can get done. Don’t forget to leave time for things like minor distractions, breaks, cooking/eating, transitions, commuting, and of course, fun. 

Set and keep boundaries

Don't bring home tasks to work or you'll end up bringing work tasks home. If you must mix the two, schedule a couple personal tasks during your lunch break. There's nothing wrong with writing your grocery list, addressing Christmas cards or running to the post office during lunch. However, avoid misunderstandings by not doing personal tasks at your desk. Head to the cafeteria, a park bench or the nearest restaurant so your co-workers and your boss don't assume you’re doing them on company time.

Avoid electronic desktop clutter

Have you ever minimized one window to find another one and have to close a dozen windows before you find it? That's a sure sign that you are doing too many things at once. Give yourself the luxury of working on one task at a time and finishing what you start before you start something else, and something else, and something else. Also, turn off notifications so they don’t keep blinking and blinking until you respond.  

Don’t let co-workers steal your time

It's easy to temporarily ignore telephone calls and emails until a more convenient time. But how do you ignore coworkers who just won't stay away? Close your office door. Wear earphones. Move the spare office chair across the room or place something in it so no one can sit down unless invited. If none of this works and visitors stop by anyway, don't engage in a conversation if you are busy; a little small talk can become a big time waster. Give them a minute or two; tell them you have a deadline you must meet; and offer to block out another time to talk with them later. If it’s important, they will appreciate your making time for them. If it's not, they will move on.

Finally, if you just can't focus because your mind is racing, maybe a distraction is exactly what you need.  Clear your mind with a brief walk outside, meditation or a completely different task. And then, get back to work.Your boss and your family are counting on you.