I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.' Muhammad Ali

I AM a champion. I am a champion for military families, for my family but mostly, I am a champion for me. But right now, honestly, I don't feel like a champion. I feel like a hot mess.

Here I sit. Alone. I am in a hotel room fighting with the demons in my head - a battle I have been fighting all week. No one told me that I would be this nervous.

It's my race. It's my pace. It's my finish. It's my medal. It's my dream.

So why am I so worried?

When I began my journey to a better me, I never knew how many people would be watching. Somehow, within my circle, I became the wife who mastered her weight problem. The wife who overcame obstacles. The wife who could do it all. The wife who mentally had it all together. Now, I am the wife who is a puddle of goo worrying about not having the mental acumen to make it through 26.2 miles, but what I keep reminding myself is that the most difficult part of the race for me is over.

On Friday, I left my house, three kids, sweet soldier and the dog. On Friday, I drove to Kansas City and hopped on a flight and I (and my baggage) made it to DC. Clothes are washed. Instructions about the morning routine are written. Babies and soldier were kissed. And I let go. After five deployments, I am taking care of me, and a big part of doing that is letting go of them so I can grasp what matters to me, my health and my sanity.

But as I sit here staring at my race bib and thinking about the amazing people at Team Fisher House who do so much for others, I have to remind myself that it is okay to be selfish in this moment. Daily, I want the best for my soldier and his career, my family as a unit and my children as individuals. But as moms, I think we sometimes get so wrapped up in what we are doing for others that we forget to do for ourselves.

As I think more and more about the race tomorrow, I am reminding myself that I didn't quit. I didn't give up. I am a champion. More than wanting my friends and family to be encouraged by my accomplishments, I have to encourage myself. I have to look myself in the mirror and know that I did it. I made it to the end of one race and began another.

Most importantly, I need to say THANK YOU to my sweet soldier for putting up with all of my training and listening to me talk nonstop about training and for being willing to hold down the fort while I pursue this goal of mine.

Training is tough but I am tougher. Military life is tough but I am tougher. I AM a champion!

Be Inspired to be an Inspired Spouse ... sby