Friends, if you think back, there are probably several times in your life that you swore you would, "never do this again."  My list includes:  waking up with a wicked hangover, giving birth, rappelling and changing planes more than once on a single trip.

I've sworn after having done each of these, that I would never, ever do it again. The pain, the trouble was too great. But of course, I have, some much more often than others, see reference to hangovers.

However, this, my friends, I will never. ever. ever. do. again.

I am executing every phase of our family's PCS alone, with all five kids, a dog and a cat in tow.

Family circumstances have required my husband to move ahead without us. Meanwhile, I am cleaning up the mess. And it is a heck of a mess.

Preparing the house for the movers' arrival is akin to eating Oreo cookies while brushing your teeth. Everything I pack, my toddlers unpack. Everything I clean, my older kids unclean. It feels like an exercise in futility.

Every stop on the paperwork trail, from booking our airline tickets to arranging for temporary hotel stays has had a snafu. It took a call to a senator before the military agreed to book us on an airline that would accommodate our pets. We are spending six nights camping during this move as hotels were fully booked since we were wise enough to try to pull this off during the holidays.

And through all the moving chaos, I've had to keep each kid on track with school, extracurricular activities and attitude checks as each day presents a new challenge. We're sticking it out until holiday school vacation so that they have a clean break in their lives. Why stumble now and pull them out? That would defeat the purpose of jumping these obstacles, right?

But it would mean I could sleep, I could relax. I could not spend every day on the phone, standing in line, running from government office to government office, repacking a year's worth of Olivia DVDs and other random knick-knacks that we really don't need.

However, I am running, I am waiting, I am phoning. Since this is just not a PCS move but is our final move as we retire, the amount of paperwork I am chasing seems to have tripled. If there are beach chairs and lazy days in retirement, I haven't seen them yet.

But they are there. I know they are there, waiting for me.

And when this is through, and I find them, I swear friends, I will never, ever do this again. Ever.