By Tiffany Shedd
Did you know that May was Mental Health Awareness month?
The spotlight was shone on what is often pushed into the dark because of the stigmas attached to this subject. We’ve come a long way from some questionable mental health practices (forced lobotomies, women being put into asylums for postpartum, etc.) but the topic of mental health is still taboo. No one wants anyone to think they’re “crazy”. Sometimes, though, it is harder to try maintain the status quo than to ask for help.
There are a plethora of mental health issues. My family alone gets to deal with several. I suffer from depression. I have never really said that out loud before, but I definitely have a history of depression. I am too afraid to deal with whatever issues may come up if I chose to treat it.
In fact, I exert a lot of effort to just not deal with things. I make up all kinds of excuses about why I don’t just pick up the phone or use one of the many online resources available to me. My son is too loud/asleep/has a class/having a meltdown/needs a drink/etc. My husband is out of town/busy/mowing the grass/etc. I have this and that going on. I don’t have time to go to an appointment.
My problem is not convenient. I think that is probably the biggest hurdle. But, when is dealing with a problem ever convenient? It never is. But, to live the best life you can live, maybe you have to do things that are not convenient sometimes.
My husband is braver than I am, for many reasons. He recently started tackling some issues of his own. He has always had problems with paying attention or he becomes so focused on one thing that he literally can’t do or hear anything else. This is both annoying and sometimes dangerous. He can be so distracted that he will miss small things that can lead to much bigger problems.
For example, he was so focused on leaving for work early one morning and got distracted by something outside that he forgot to close our front door completely. My son and I were upstairs sleeping. I didn’t come downstairs until hours later to discover the door was slightly open and anyone could have come into our home. He has said for years that he probably has ADHD but had never been tested.
At first, he wasn’t tested, because of the stigma of taking certain medications while on active duty. This has changed a lot in the last few years. I suspect that having our son had a lot to do with why he finally took steps to getting a diagnosis.
He was right. ADHD was the diagnosis. He has been taking medication for a couple of months, and I can see some changes in his day to day behavior. I can talk to him while he is doing something, and, he actually hears what I am saying. That is a big, positive change for us.
In addition to ADHD, my husband also suffers from acute anxiety. When we first met, it was mostly just in social situations. He could only focus on one person in a group and would come off as being standoffish.
As he went through several deployments and saw lots of things that no one should probably ever see, he became anxious about everything. He kept it hidden pretty well for a long time. I only really started to see how bad it was when I was pregnant. He was worried about something being wrong with our baby, and it just spiraled from there.
He has dealt with some pretty horrible anxiety for the last three years, and I didn’t even know. This is how taboo mental health issues are: my husband, who tells me literally everything (so I thought) hid his crushing anxiety from me for that long. I felt horrible that I didn’t even notice.
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If we spent as much time working on our mental health as we do our physical selves, we’d probably all be a lot healthier and happier. Don’t worry about what other people think. If you or a family member is suffering from any mental health issue, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are lots of resources available to you, so take advantage of them.
Here is a great place to start: http://www.militaryonesource.mil/
