I have noticed that throughout our military moves, my closest friends at each duty station are spouses whose husband’s work with my husband during trainings, deployments or schools. It’s easier to form bonds over the long hours or mandatory family fun events.
The tough part is leaving these friendships behind. Even though technology, smart phones and social media make it a little easier to stay in touch through the distance, things are not the same once we live apart.
The same thing goes for my friends back home - you know, my “normal, civilian friends.” Schedules are busy, lives are busy. It’s just not quite the same when you can’t get together in person regularly.
And picking up the phone to actually talk? Forget about it. As soon as my kids see that, they turn into attention seeking monsters! So we go on making new friendships but never forgetting that special bond we have with others.
On our way home from our vacation with family, we were able to stop by for a night and see our very close friends. We went through a deployment together, they supported me in the birth of my son when our husbands were in Afghanistan together.
We laughed together, cried together. Our families have treated one another like family more than friends. So, after almost two years of not seeing one another, we were excited to finally have a reunion. But a piece of me worried if things would be like they used to. There are more babies in each family now. The kids are all older. My boys are wild. Would they be able to handle us?
Careers have gone different ways and new friendships have been made. I was nervous I wasn’t the same friend. That I hadn’t kept in touch enough. That I should have sent cards for birthdays and just because. The list went on. I finally realized I was only making myself more nervous.
As we explained to our 4-year-old why these friends were so important to us on our drive over, I recalled all of the late night chats, laugh and cries. No matter what I always had those memories.
As soon as we all hugged one another, my worries melted away. Emotions ran over me and I felt at ease. The miles between us, the years of not seeing one another didn’t matter. We were brought back to exactly where we left off.
One day wasn’t enough to fully catch up and re-acquaint our families. But it was enough to fill my heart and realize that not every friendship I make has to replace my old ones. You can’t replicate experiences with one another.
This family is very special to both my husband and I. We may not get the opportunity to live near one another again, or go through a deployment together or have babies together but it doesn’t have to prevent us from continuing our friendship and making memories. The Marine Corps brought us together but we choose to continue on together, no matter where the Corps sends us!
