Salute to Spouses Blog

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Change Is Good For the Soul?

So here we are again, and it’s time to say, ‘See you later,’ to another blog. My sweet readers, you have become some of my closest friends over the last couple of years. You have seen me through some of my best and worst times and I have been happy to share those times with you. I am a firm believer in that we are stronger together than we are apart. I hope that reading through my adventures has made you feel like you have a friend who knows what you are going through.

I have to admit to you that, for many reasons, this has been probably the toughest transition I have endured in my 12 years as an Army spouse. Some of those reasons, I have shared with you and some of them, I have not. But there have been some dark days. I wasn’t sure if I could get out of bed. I didn’t want to face anyone. But I found something (or three somethings) that got me out of bed and kept me fighting for my sanity.

My struggle is large and overwhelming sometimes to me, but it pales in comparison to soldiers transitioning out of the Army. Just recently, we discovered that a dear friend of ours decided that he couldn’t take any more of his transition. From all accounts, things were not going well, and he chose to end his life. My soldier and I were devastated by the news, and as we speak to others about it, we hear people say, “I could have helped him get a job”, “If I had known, I would have invited him over to talk.” The truth is that when a person gets to that point, they may not ask for help. Change is hard and we don’t know where that breaking point might be.

I don’t tell you all of this to bring you down. I tell you all of this so that as you see your brothers/sisters in arms, friends and family going through a big transition, you will be in tune to their needs. He or she may not be willing to share the minutia of their issues, but you don’t have to know the particulars to be an encouragement and a source of strength.

Don’t ask for details. Listen to what they will tell you. Give them the sense that it is ok to have a meltdown in your presence without fear of judgment.

Above all, be encouraging. Dollars to donuts, they don’t want you to solve their problems. They just need an ear. You may be the person that shows them that they should believe in themselves.

Thank you for following along on my crazy journey. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my inspiration.

I will see you when I see you.

Much love and admiration . . . sby

For Military Spouses
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