Salute to Spouses Blog

We're excited to be blogging about the latest topics in military life. We want to keep you informed on topics such as current events, education, career advice, etc. Feel free to post comments or questions to any of our entries.
Big Changes Mean Teamwork During Deployment

If there’s one thing a military family knows, it’s that life never stays stagnant during a deployment.  Sure, we may be missing our spouse, but life continues here at home at the same pace as usual. For our family, that usually means a breakneck pace. This has been even more true this deployment.

My husband has been gone six, very, long months and it will still be several more before this tour is over. But these six months have been some of the most packed we’ve ever experienced.  My career is moving along, I’ve changed all the eating habits in our house and I’m down nearly 70 pounds. All four boys are in hockey about six times a week and our latest adventure arrived Oct 1: our beautiful foster daughter. 

So when Jason does finally come home, it will be to a busy wife, a strange kitchen, insanely busy kids and a new daughter. In his mind, home is what he left behind, but our busy six months means home is no longer what he remembers. It makes me nervous. After all, if I’m struggling to keep up, and I’ve been here the whole time, how will he handle the drastic changes?

Change happens during deployment. We can’t sit still and live in a glass case until they return.  We have to live, grow, and not only survive, but thrive. I can definitely say that I didn’t foresee all these changes. The dietary changes?  Kind of.  They evolved after the first month of me going on a paleo diet, but our daughter?  We’ve been waiting two years for her to come, but it never occurred to me that she’d pop in while Jason was deployed.  These are big, hectic, glorious changes.

How do we handle them? As a team. When we have a meeting with her case worker, Jason uses Skype to participate. When I consider changing the boys’ eating habits, I explain why and ask his opinion. When he’s going through something during the deployment, he brings me in on the issue. Remember, we’re not the only ones living, ladies, our spouses are too.

We work extra hard on our communication, because we know reintegration can hit us hard if we haven’t put the time in beforehand. I keep him up to date with our routine as much as possible, because though he may not be here for it now, he will be, soon. I share with him my worries, my anxiety and my joy, because it’s really ours. The minute I start treating my husband like this is only happening to me, is the moment we cease being a team. He may be 6,000 miles away, but he’s still my partner in all things. We take things on together during deployment so that he can fit seamlessly back into this house when he comes home, which is always our end goal.

Change is good and beautiful, as long as we’re dealing with it together. Getting our foster daughter nearly six months into a deployment may be the biggest change of all, but she’s so beautiful in her timing, her grace, her everything. I hate that he’s not here for these changes, especially her arrival, but I can’t wait to introduce her to him. She’s like the cherry on top of our homecoming sundae.

Follow Rebecca at

For Military Spouses
Apply for the Salute to Spouses scholarship today and begin your education! You’ll be on the way to your dream career.

Salute to Spouses Scholarship Recipients