I love to crawl up on the couch and bury my head in a good book.

I don’t want to spend an arm or leg for the book though! My closet is filled with dusty books and textbooks that I no longer have a use for. I bet if I calculated the value of the whole stack, I could take my family on a Disneyland vacation. 

When I saw how much my books were going to cost this year, I nearly passed out. I thought, “there has to be a solution to this madness” – and there is. I searched the internet and came across these useful websites:

Amazon: Not only can you purchase random Christmas presents here, you can also rent textbooks for a whole semester. The rent fee is reasonable and the shipping and handling to return the book is free as long as you return it undamaged.

www.amazon.com

Cheap Books: This is a great site to buy or rent textbooks for a semester, sell your used books and even get books for free.  The prices are low but shipping may take several days. Also, you don’t know the condition of the book you are purchasing.

www.cheapbooks.com

Chegg: You can pretty much find any textbook, eBook or study guide here. Similar to Cheap Books, you can also buy, rent and sell. This website also features reviews about professors, classes and course material. You can search by your school name and the course name. The books here are more on the “used” side but the prices are low as well.

www.chegg.com

Local College Library:If you don’t have a computer nearby, or if you attend classes on campus, you can always go to the local library. Check for a “Lending Library” where you can rent your textbooks for the semester. The college I attend has one and I’ve taken full advantage of it. It’s free of charge and I don’t have to return them until the last day of class. Late fees may vary depending on what school you attend.

Hopefully these sites will help you along your educational journey.  It’s worth it!

Look around slowly, children. Soak it in. Remember this. You may never see this again.

I wanted to say that over and over again to my kids last week as we explored the island of Hawaii. We saw oodles of waterfalls, splashed on black sand beaches, ooh’d and ahh’d as giant, green sea turtles slipped into the bright blue water.

There is a lot that is inconvenient about military life. The PCS moves thousands of miles from home can be terrifying and difficult. But those same far flung locales are also the memories our kids will cherish for decades.

The military is the only reason my children have seen the deserts of the Mideast. The military is the only reason we were able to stand on the rare black sand beaches. Without a PCS move to Hawaii, we could never afford seven airfares from our east coast home.

We are planning a trip to South Korea next summer with the help of the frequent, free flights that leave the local Air Force base.

Surprisingly, many families we know never take advantage of the nearby travel opportunities. We know families in Hawaii who have never really left the housing area.

It can be terrifying, yes.

It can be difficult, yes.

But, I promise, it will be fantastic. And you will remember it.

So, please, step outside your comfort zone and take the leap. Drive to the other side of your new, temporary hometown. Visit a local national park, even if hiking isn’t exactly your thing. Go check out whatever the local hot spot is. Check out the map, see what is near - especially what you can afford to get to that you will never have the opportunity to visit again.

You will not regret it.

Then, look around. Slowly. Soak it in. Remember these beautiful, odd, foreign locales. For you may never see this place again.

I am sure that by now you can tell how my life is going by what I write. I think that is the point of this blog.

So it should be no surprise when I tell you that the last couple of weeks have been a chaotic mess! My saving grace is a sweet group of ladies that I can truly call my friends!

We rejoice together. We cry together. We partake in adult beverages together. And when the chips are down, these ladies are the ones I call.

We all have different experiences within the Army family and we all bring different things to the table. Without these women I would not still be standing.

I hope that you have some friends like that. Find a group with whom you share a common interest. Make sure that you give as much as you get and plan some fun!

You have to enjoy your time. We have had some intense times, but we are all "still standing better than we ever did. Looking like a true survivor. Feeling like a little kid!"

But never forget the basic rule that we learn in kindergarten: to have a friend, you have to be a friend.

Strength and Courage ... sby

Before I was a mom, I thought a stay at home mom’s day was full of play dates and happy hours (I was clueless and watched a lot of reality shows). How fun did that sound?

Reality hit me hard when I had my first baby. I was lucky if I showered before 9 p.m. every other day - let alone leave the house with a newborn for the first four months. He was up all night and slept all day.  And honestly, what could a newborn do on a play date?

I barely left the house the first few months. I felt like everyone in my neighborhood had older kids and could meet at the park or cul de sac to hang out together. Here I was a new mom, new to the neighborhood with a deployed hubby and all alone. 

I admit I was not the most social person and definitely struggled to have a positive attitude. Now looking back on it, I may have battled some mild baby blues and got sucked into my own little pity party.  Once my husband returned home from Afghanistan, I began to talk about my feelings and felt better. The older my son got, the easier things became - or maybe I just adjusted to the whole not sleeping thing finally. We ventured out of the house more and even joined a mommy group with babies the same age as mine and it was a life saver.  The busier we were, the better I felt!

So with this move and pregnancy, my husband and I agreed I needed to do the same - just get out there, join things and be social. I had every reason to be bitter - super pregnant, crazy toddler with four sets of stairs, no yard, 115 degree weather and an overworked husband. But I knew that would not do any good. So I was determined to jump right into things and be more social even though I really wanted to stay inside and pout.

We moved into our new neighborhood and within our first week here, everyone moved out of the surrounding houses. I am not exaggerating! Summertime is the busiest moving time for military families so although everyone was moving out, I knew eventually, families would begin to move in as well. Unfortunately that did not happen right away. I had to look further than my front porch to make friends.

Since we didn’t have a yard, we spent a lot of time taking walks to the park and pool on base. Lucky for me my almost 2-year-old is extremely talkative and social, which made it pretty easy to start conversations with other moms.  And an 8-months pregnant woman chasing a 2-year-old in 100 degree heat is hard to not feel sorry for so I received many questions about my due date, how I was feeling and if we were new to the area.

The great thing about other military spouses is that someone has always walked in your shoes and understands what you’re going through. It’s almost like an unspoken bond. They sympathize. Whether it was being at an uncomfortable stage with my pregnancy or having two babies so close together, I met so many other women who understood what I was going through and offered advice. It was much easier than I thought and I am so grateful there are so many wonderful families on our base.

Now that we have some new friends and have started to fill our days with story time, gymnastics and play dates I can definitely say that getting out and being busy is the way to survive with two kids under the age of two. If we don’t get out of the house, the day drags on and things happen: like my son using my husband’s toothbrush to wash the toilet.

Although the homebody in me wouldn’t mind vegging out on the couch a bit more, that’s just not an option as a mom of two (or more).  It may take us an hour to actually get out of the house, but staying busy and connecting with new friends is definitely a great way to transition into a new duty station.

Fall semester is here and I’m totally not ready for this.  When we PCS to a new city I have to spend hours looking for new schools for my children and myself. This is not how I want to spend my time when there is so much that needs to be done during a move.

After researching numerous elementary schools and colleges, I finally found a school for my daughter and a great community college for me with a nursing program. I have mastered the art of flexing my class hours so I will be able to pick my children up from school and daycare on time. No problem in the time management department.

Buying extra books and school supplies is another issue. Luckily, my daughter, a second grader, has taught me a valuable lesson about saving money.

Every new school year my daughter and I pick out school supplies. This year, as we walked up and down the store aisles, I notice she hadn’t put anything in the basket. I asked, “What’s wrong, you don’t see anything that you need?” 

She replied, “No that’s not it mom. I have all my supplies.”

How does she have all her supplies? Why is this the first time I’m hearing this? 

Then, she explained, “Every school year you ask me if I need supplies and even though I say no, you buy them anyways. I’ve learned how to save my stuff. On the first day, instead of bringing all my supplies, I bring an empty backpack and two pencils. I wait for the teacher to give me the class supplies list and when I get home, the items on the list is what I put in my backpack. The rest I save for later.”  

Wow, I thought, now that’s a really smart idea.  I’ve attended two other colleges before enrolling at my current school. On the first day at each, my backpack is filled to the max with random supplies and books that I think will be necessary for class.

This year, I decided to follow my little girl’s method and on the first day of class, the only thing I brought with me was my class schedule. I waited for the professors to pass out their syllabus and the next day I only brought what was listed.

I guess you never are too old to learn something new. 

The toughest part of going back to school may be choosing the school.

There are a lot of colleges vying for the plentiful GI Bill dollars that service members and their spouses are entitled to.

There are a lot of promises made, and a lot of deals that seem just too good to be true.

Rest assured, Bryant & Stratton College is the real deal.

The school is once again on the list of Military Friendly Schools published annually by Victory Media and G.I. Jobs Magazine.

Making the list is no easy feat. Only 15 percent of U.S. institutions of higher education receive the honor.

What does the designation mean in real numbers? That 1,700 American colleges have been deemed the best for military members and their family.

Sounds like a lot, right? Not when you see take note that 10,000 American colleges are authorized by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs to accept GI Bill money.

So what makes these top schools stand out? They don’t just offer classes. They understand the complexities of a military household and they have developed programs and departments within the college to specifically address and care for our needs.

At Bryant & Stratton College, the Salute to Spouses scholarship program gives military spouses up to $6,000 toward an online degree program. The scholarship launched when the popular MYCAA program ran out of funds. Rather than see their students drop out, Bryant & Stratton College gave their students the means to make their dreams a reality.

The Salute to Spouses website grew out of the scholarship program as a place for spouses to find solid, real information about careers, higher education and family programs. Now, new daily content delivers just that - information spouses need, written by spouses.

Service members and their families have an advocate within Bryant & Stratton College. Retired Army Maj. Ed Dennis serves as the military relations manager and personally assists military and spouse students as they navigate the often confusing world of student loans and college applications.

Finally, Bryant & Stratton College is where we are. With 18 campuses and an Online Education division that is accessible in any time zone around the globe, it is a cinch to take your degree program with you when you PCS.

I am proud to work for a college that doesn’t just recruit students. Bryant & Stratton College recruits and then follows through to make sure every student has the tools they need to succeed.

As a military spouse, I know how hard it can be with multiple PCS moves, deployments and uphill battles to simply put education aside, for later.

Bryant & Stratton can help you achieve it, now.

To learn more about the Salute to Spouses Scholarship visit http://salutetospouses.com/scholarship

To learn more about the Military Friendly School designation visit http://militaryfriendlyschools.com/

My alarm went off at 4 a.m. That is an hour earlier than normal and it was Saturday.

There are so many things wrong with that last sentence, that I don’t even know where to begin. Today is the big day. I have trained. I have hydrated. Most importantly, I have picked out the perfect outfit.

Today, I am going to run 13.1 miles. Today, I am going to squash, no, pummel, that little voice in my head that has been whispering, "You can't do that."

Today is the day!

I jump in the shower, and dress. I put on the earrings that I normally wear. I put on my rings and watch. I put on my waterproof mascara and lipstick, because you know that someone is going to take pictures. My number is just where I want it and my shoes are laced up tight. I am ready for breakfast. I consume my normal long-run day breakfast:  protein shake and coffee. It is 5:30 a.m.. The sitter should be here soon.  

When I get nervous, I pace. I think I wore a hole in my floor that morning. I pace and I wait. As the clock ticked away, there was no sitter. I had built in some time for her to be late. After all, she is in college, and it was early. I remember those days! My friend arrived to drive us to the race and there was still no sitter.

I text. She calls. She is on her way, but we have a 45-minute drive just to get to the starting line. I text a neighbor, and she sends over her daughter to sit until the sitter arrives. We are on our way to the race.

Breathe, Sarah. Just breathe.

We arrive at the starting line with 20 minutes to spare! That is long enough to get our bearings, go to the bathroom and stretch just a little. Whew! As we ready our music, my friend gave me some parting words of wisdom. I think it was something about going slow, but quite honestly, I don't remember. I vaguely remember the run beginning, but I remember checking my iPod for my pace.

I start slow. I start in the back. I was ready to go the distance. My sweet friend ran with me for about the first mile and I am so glad she did. She is a very experienced runner. Her training pace is faster than mine and at her adrenaline (or race) pace, she could have finished the race, gone home, showered, come back and still have to wait for me to finish. I have to tell you, I want to be like her when I grow up! She is amazing. She had a finish time goal in mind for the day and my goal was just to finish, at least that is what I told people.

As I get through the first couple of miles, I feel good. This is what I have trained to do, and I can do this. Just then, I realize that "the girls" are moving around much more than normal. I put my hand on my chest to discover that my compression sports bra is coming unzipped. Holy cow! Are you kidding?

In my haste to get my earphone and wires tucked down into my bra before we started, I forgot to make certain that it was fully zipped and locked. I slow to a walk and quickly rectified the situation!

Then at mile four or so, I feel my underwear begin to slip. Like any person who has been a tester by trade or has any shred of OCD, I wear the same "foundation" pieces every time I run. I want to make sure nothing slides, bunches or otherwise moves during the course of my run. Are you kidding me? How much more can one person take?

Now, everything is staying where I put it, and I continue on my quest for the finish line. Now, it is just me, my iPod and my thoughts.

When we train, we run a mile and then we walk for a minute or two. Then we run again, and typically, that begins to correspond with water points along the route during a race. All I remember saying in my head was, 'Sarah, just get to the water point.' Sometimes life and deployments can be that way. We run until we get to the water point. Then we slow down and take a deep breath and let the heart rate (and blood pressure) go down. Then we begin with a renewed spirit!

Everything that I have read states that if you can run 10 miles, then you can run 13, but again, as an analyst, I need to test in a true environment before I go into production! I had run 10 miles before, and complained the whole time, so I knew I could get through mile ten.

Once I see the sign that reads, Mile 11, crazy Sarah takes over. When people say that  running is more about your head than your legs, I now know what that means. I am so glad no one can hear the conversation in my head: 'I can't do it. I'm not going to make it. Yes, you can. This is not about {insert many names}. This is about you! This is about knowing that you can do this having not tested it. This is about having faith in yourself!'

I walk through the last water point and began to run again. I round the last turn with about half a mile to the finish line when a well-meaning volunteer shouts, "You are almost there! Keep going! Turn left. Go through the park, and you are finished!"

At that point, dear friends, it becomes very clear to me that I was about to overcome a self-imposed obstacle, so I did what any normal person would do. I began to hyperventilate and cry.

That makes sense, right? It felt like I was trying to draw every breath from my collar bone. I slow down to regain my composure, and once I can breathe, I pick up the pace to bring it all to the finish line.

I remember vividly running past the water park. I remember more volunteers clapping for me as I passed. I remember passing a sign for a Gun Show that day and I thought about our joke in gym about having tickets to the "gun show".

When I saw the inflatable finish line, I begin to sprint, and when I say sprint, I mean that someone should have been looking for the scary clown that was chasing me! I pass the bathrooms and people clapping. I was almost there!

I hear someone shout, "Way to finish strong!" I hear my time chip beep, and just like that, it was over! Two hours, 28 minutes and 52 seconds had passed and I finished. I didn't know what to do until my sweet friend grabs me and gives me the biggest hug I have gotten in five months!

I throw that medal around my neck. I don't want to take it off. We post pictures on Facebook. I send pictures to my husband downrange. Then, we eat a huge breakfast. I come home exhausted but happier than I have felt in a long time. I planned. I executed. I performed. This time it was all about me fighting the demons in my head and winning!

Think about that during your deployment. Think about that self-talk. You have the power to make anything that you want happen. Your "water point" can be bed time everyday. I remember those days! It was a sprint to get from wake up to bed time. When you get rundown and feel like you can't keep going, just set a short term goal. Just make it to the next water point! You can do it! I believe in you!

Strength and Courage ... sby

I must admit, I feel a little guilty starting this whole blogging thing, especially writing about my “domestic deployment”.

For the last five years all we have known is deployments, working up for deployments or training for them.  Currently, my husband is going through a 10-month-long career level school. Everyone says its great family time. Don’t get me wrong, he works his normal long hours and has hours of homework, reading and term paper writing each night and on the weekend. But regardless of the long hours, he’s still home.

I absolutely love having more family time, especially while the boys are so young.  But part of me feels guilty and I was not prepared for those emotions.  

Originally, he was supposed to be deploying right now.  I see some of our friends on Facebook post “see you later” pictures as they send their loved one off. It breaks my heart. I know that as much as my husband loves being with us, a part of him also wishes he was leading his Marines into the deployment.

There are still troops overseas fighting, families separated and sacrificing.  My Marine joined for a reason and I know he struggles to balance being there for both his Marines and family.

I recently spoke with a friend from high school who is also a Marine Corps family.  Her husband is currently deployed while she is at home with their three boys. I admitted to her the guilt I feel when I complain about my day knowing what she was going through.

Without hesitation, she reminded me how precious this time together is and to take advantage of it. 

I know our deployment time will come again and one day my boys will have to learn what its like to say, “see you later” to their daddy for a 7-months or longer deployment.

These breaks in the deployment cycle do not come around often and it’s easy to get caught up in day-to-day routines - complaining about the laundry, budget and the messes my husband and boys make.  But while my husband was deployed, I would have traded anything in the world to have the messes, the extra laundry – to have him home.

I have our homecoming pictures of him meeting our son for the first time hanging on the wall, but maybe I need to hang even more of these photos to remind myself how quickly things change in military life.

Nothing is ever for certain. My husband may be home today but he could easily be gone when this school is over. I need to focus more on making family memories instead of keeping a clean house.

Don’t be alarmed though, I’m not going to go all crazy and end up on hoarders. But if the dishes don’t get washed or the laundry isn’t done for a day, I think we will survive.

Watching my husband with our boys, and having this time together is a gift. I will not take that for granted.

The best advice I can give you, is to breathe.

I know it may sound kind of simple, but with all the hustle and bustle I do before 6:30 a.m., sometimes if I don't stop and take even a five-second breath I will literally pass out. As a spouse, mom and student, let’s just say every minute of free time is precious to me. I try to keep the same routine and manage my time but there's always going to be a day when time is not going to be your friend. I have them and I know most moms do too.

I served in the Navy and being a female in the military is a lot of hard work. You have to prove yourself to the predominately all-male workplace and show them that you are an equal.

Being a military spouse though, is a whole different ball game. This is how crazy my morning can really be:

My alarm is set at 5 a.m. yet I wake up at 4:30 a.m. to my husband’s alarm buzzing. It takes me a good 5 to 10 minutes to get him to stop pushing the snooze button and actually get ready for work. I try to lay back down to get a couple of minutes of sleep, but time is never on my side.

Before long, my phone is buzzing and I’m off to wake the kids. My daughter is easy to get up but my boy is another story. Since my daughter is 7, she normally gets herself ready and all I have to do it comb her hair. Not my son though, I pretty much have to shake his bed before he whines and wakes up.

By now it's about 5:35 a.m. and I head downstairs to make sure the coffee is on,  make lunches, kiss my husband as he rushes out the door to beat the traffic at the base gate and run back upstairs to make sure the kids are dressed.

Then, I get myself ready. I also go to school. By 5:50 a.m. I am outside to warm up my car, the kids are eating breakfast and I check the news for weather and traffic.

During this time chaos happens - either one of kids spills something on their clothes and needs to change or there's two or three papers that need to be signed or my husband forgot something and I have to call him to make sure it’s not something he needs that day for work.

Crisis averted and now it’s 6:15 a.m. I get the kids in the car, drop off my daughter to her before school program and drive 30 minutes to base to drop my son off at the child development center.

Now, the fun begins. I'm in traffic heading to school and my class starts at 8:30 a.m. A good day means I arrive 10 minutes before class starts. A bad day means no parking and running late.

My husband is super supportive of me going back to school, with helps a lot. He often gives me a break and takes the kids on bike rides so I can study.

Outside of those times, I complete homework at school or while the kids sleep at night to maintain a balance and stay on track.

Even though my mornings feel like I'm in the Olympics, I wouldn't have it any other way. As long as I take my five seconds to breathe!

To be fair, the command sergeant major did say he was available for questions.

He probably didn't count on having a spouse in the audience who was also a reporter.

At the Signal Corps Ball last week, the guest speaker, a command sergeant major, addressed the crowd and offered to answer questions afterwards. When he did, I leaned into my husband and said, ‘I’m going in’. He sighed and said, “I know.”

My question was simple: why has the Army failed to provide families with any information or guidance about the Qualitative Service Program process which serves to purge soldiers from the ranks who are not meeting performance standards?

There is confusion as to who is really on the chopping block. No guidance has been given to families regarding what happens once the soldier is pink-slipped. No one knows how many days, weeks or months they have until they are officially out of uniform. I’ve even heard spouses question whether or not the military would pay to ship their household goods as they move away from their current duty station and into civilian life.

For various reasons, I fully expect my husband to be among those considered for involuntary separation. When we learned this, I admit, we initially panicked. What did it mean? How long after the decision was made would we be out of the Army? Would he even receive retirement pay?

Luckily, my husband has been in the Army a long time and has made a lot of friends. He visited with a sergeant major who gave him the ins and outs of the program. We began making new plans for our future, several plans. And now I can confidently say we are ready to deal with the QSP or any other major change to his career.

Other families are not as certain. Other families I have heard from are terrified.

So my question to the command sergeant major that night was, “Why?”

Why should we have to search for the answers? Why can’t the Army give us the information we need to be successful; to end speculation and rumors; to do what we have always been told to do through deployments, PCS and field exercises: be prepared.

Instead, we have all been left in the dark grasping at ‘what ifs?”. That is no way to treat people who have endured multiple deployments and all the hardships that are inherent to being a military family.

This is no way to treat employees who have literally dedicated life and limb to the success of their employer.

We are all proud to have served. We are proud to have been military families. And we deserve to be part of the process and given a chance to prepare for what is ahead.

I suggested to the command sergeant major that the Army create something as simple as a fact sheet that lists what the QSP means, how long after receiving that designation that a soldier’s career officially ends and what the soldier and family is entitled to under the program. Language describing the program online is cumbersome and difficult to understand.

I don’t know if he will return to his office and take my suggestion to heart or if he will never offer himself up for questions at a military ball again.

What I do know is that military families are hurting and senior leaders hold the key to their success or failure. Knowledge is power. Please give us the knowledge, the information we need to take control over our futures and be prepared.

It will only make all of us better.