I swear, I feel like I have senioritis! This is my last week for this quarter and I am ready for it to be over! Tonight was the last night for one of my classes, so that leaves one to go. This week is not going by fast enough at all.

Once this week is over, I will have three glorious weeks off. I almost feel like I am waiting for spring break - minus the binge drinking, random parties and all that other stuff that comes with it. I think the main reason this quarter differs from others is that both of my classes have issues. One class is just boring. It is a pre-requisite, core class, so I have no choice. But it is so boring. Sometimes I wonder why we have to take these classes that have nothing to do with our majors. I know, I know, well-rounded education. Sigh

My other class is, well, not what I expected. And after the final tonight, I have no clue how I did. Some of the questions on the final are things the professor never covered and my classmates were not happy about that. But as it figures, he went overseas last week and he had a colleague oversee the final. I think I pulled more answers out of mid-air than I did from facts I knew and learned in class. I am only hoping the project I turned in is enough to carry me to at least a B.

But on a high note, I did receive a certificate before class stating that I made the Dean’s List from January through May. So at least something went well today.

How do you stay motivated in pre-requisite classes or manage a situation where an instructor throws you for a loop?

Sometimes outsiders do get it.

I’ve often lamented that the general public just doesn’t understand military life. They don’t understand the pressures of deployment. They don’t comprehend that our entire lives revolve around the military’s needs. They don’t realize that the most important days of our lives, births, weddings and even funerals can be overshadowed and altered by the military’s plans for our soldier husbands.

This photographer gets it.

Amateur photographer Angila Golik was visiting Washington D.C. when she happened upon a tender moment at the rotunda of the War Memorial. It appeared as though an airman, in uniform, was proposing.

She snapped her shutter and caught it on film. She tried to catch the couple afterwards but was too far for them to hear her. The photo went viral and within days she had found them. As it turns out, the couple was recently engaged and visiting the monument to scope out locations for their nuptials.

What I love about this story is how it captured Golik’s heart.

In media interviews before the couple was identified, Golik always returned to the “why?” of the couple’s story.

Was he leaving for deployment? Did he just return? 

She gets it.

Was this the couple’s first moment together after he returned for war? Was it their last before he left again? Had they endured months, maybe years of separation and waited patiently for this moment?

So many military spouses have these types of stories – the whispered love notes as he boards the plane, the long embrace as he finally steps off of it.

Golik happened upon this sweet couple and was overwhelmed by the possible magnitude of that fleeting moment.

Sometimes I feel that if I were to tell my own love story, of my husband and I, it would be best told by describing mere seconds of time – stolen before, after and during all the craziness this military life has created. For stuck between deployments, trainings, pt, moving and the ever lengthening list of what we have to do as a military family are the brief moments when we are completely free to do what we want. It is then that a glance, a touch, a tear between us says more to each other than we ever have with words.  

With the push of a button, Golik captured that same sweet, and sometimes heartbreaking, connection.

"Vacation all I ever wanted. Vacation had to get away ..." I have never felt that urge so strongly as I do right now. It is that time of the summer and we are ready for a change of scenery. As I write, we are two days out from heading to Colorado. We will spend a few days there, and when we come back to Kansas, we will spend a few days in Kansas City.

But, without my sweet soldier I have to admit that I am not looking forward to playing a zone defense against my children’s three-man offense. The older two travel pretty well, but that third one, he is a mess when it comes to travel. It is well known that autistic children thrive with schedules, structure and, basically, sameness. None of those words are ones that typically apply to my vacation, but regardless, we are going on vacation.

I am looking forward to visiting some friends and I look forward to having completely worn out kids every evening. We are going to have a great time if it kills us!

I will have to let you know next week how it went, but get out there and enjoy your summer!

Strength and Courage ... sby

Often when I talk about attending college with spouses who have not yet gone back to school, I am asked ‘Should I do online classes, or sit down classes?’ Well, the choice is yours really! There are a lot of things to consider when deciding which option is best for you. First and foremost, I always advocate doing your homework. What I mean by that is fully researching the school you want attend. There are reputable and not so reputable schools out there (both online and one’s with campus locations) so it’s always best to make sure you are careful with your selection.

If you are unsure about what school you would like to go to, stop by the Education Center on post. They are a great source of information. A lot, if not all Education Centers also have representatives from several colleges that are more than happy to answer any questions you may have. Luckily for me, my college has an office at the post I am at, and anything I have to do concerning my classes (turn in VA paperwork, etc), can be done there.

Now, you need to decide if doing classes online or going to class will work for you. When I started going to school, online classes (and even a couple I took that were offered on the college’s own television channel) worked best for me. I had one child in school and a baby at home. No way would sit down classes work for me. Since then, I have taken probably 95% of my classes online. It also depends on your major. Some majors have classes that must be taken in class, like a lot of your science courses. I have only had to take a few on-campus classes, but I really enjoy online. Even though you still have due dates, I feel it is less rigid. You don’t have to be somewhere at the same time every week and are free to do your assignments when you find what time works best for you. I have done many assignments in the wee hours of the night!

 If you like the structure of a sit down class, and feel that you are held more accountable if you actually have to go to class, then that’s what will work best for you. I have several friends that prefer a physical classroom environment, and feel that online classes make it too easy to be lazy and not get their assignments done. So really, it’s whatever you feel most comfortable with and where you feel will do your best. If you aren’t sure, try both! It won’t take very long for you to figure out which learning style works best for you, your family and your schedule.

In this difficult economy, how often are there more jobs than applicants?

For the moment, the good folks at www.MilitaryVetJobs.com, a site we introduced to you in May, are facing just that type of crisis.

The organization specializes in matching veterans and military spouses with employers across the country. The site, created by a Navy veteran, is the largest of its kind.

At last count, 193,000 resumes had been uploaded.

But it is not enough.

MilitaryVetJobs.com is in search of even more talented veterans and spouses.

Recently, the site has received an influx of hundreds of new jobs from companies around the nation including Metropolitan Community College, Atlantic Health Systems, Nashville Wire and the Penn Mutual Life Insurance Company.

And that’s just the beginning.

MilitaryVetJobs.com adds new job listings almost daily as they continue to partner with corporations to hire more veterans and military family members.

Looking for a job? Today may be your day.

Visit www.MilitaryVetJobs.comand upload your resume.

I am sad and lonely. There. I wrote it and it is out there for you to ponder. It is my firm belief that everyone  goes through emotional cycles during deployment. The cycles may not be the same, and we may not go through them at the same rate. However, we all go through them. So far, my cycles have been the following:

• Readiness - We found out that he was going. It seemed to take forever to get ready and then the big day came. He left.
• Excitement - I get the entire bathroom counter to myself and I don't have to justify why I watch Army Wives and Dance Moms.

And now, well, I am just sad, and "his blue eyes see right through me. Nothing's ever great all the time." What I discovered today is that I was looking for things to pick at him about. I realized that my sweet soldier is not doing anything differently than he has done in the past. It is me that has changed. I am going through my "sad and icky" phase. I am sad that he is gone. I am mad that I am a single parent for a year. And it doesn't help that the "usual suspects" in my neighborhood are on vacation. However, it is not his fault. He can't control what I am feeling, but he takes my "icky" emails where I complain about being sad and lonely and probably files them under "my crazy wife." The great thing is that these phases are passing and seem to be passing quickly.

I continually have to remind myself that my feelings are normal - all of my feelings. Then I plan things that are extra special for me. I make time on my calendar and in my budget to take a day, especially during the summer, to have some time to myself. Yesterday, I ran the first 5K for which I legitimately trained. I ran it in 35 minutes. I am not breaking any speed records, but I made it to the starting line and the finish line. I have planned a day next week to have lunch with some girlfriends and go for a mani and pedi before I take the kids on a two week vacation.

"Ain't it good to know that life goes on ...". I have written before about choices that we make. It is easy sometimes to let yourself roll around in your sadness and frustration during a deployment, but I would like to challenge you. Block a day on your calendar just for you. Make it tomorrow when you shine.

Strength and Courage ... sby

I cannot believe I am sitting here, weeks away from my 20-year high school reunion. Where have 20 years gone? I remember being a freshman and thinking, ‘Oh my goodness, we have four years here. We are going to be here forever!’ Not only did those four years fly by, but so have the last 20!

As I sit here thinking about my high school career then, and my college career now, it’s almost comical how things have changed. I didn’t care too much about how I did academically in high school. Going to college was not on my radar. As time went on, I did decide to go to college, but to a community college, so what did grades matter? As long as I graduated, I was good.

Minimal effort was put forth on my behalf to get the grades I knew I could earn. If I didn’t have to crack a book and could get a C, that was good enough for me. I was even smart enough to pass quite a few classes with A’s and B’s, but it wasn’t because I tried my hardest. As I look back, I realize just how lazy I was in high school.

And now? Now I am disappointed when I get a B. Even though a B is a good grade, it’s not good enough. I’ll take it, but I’m not always happy with it. I was invited to join my community college’s chapter of Phi Theta Kappa for earning a 3.75 GPA and maintaining a 3.5 throughout my time at my community college. I just found out a couple days ago that I made the Dean’s List for the semester. I am also working towards being invited to join several honor societies and cannot wait until I finish this next quarter and have earned the required credits to be considered.

Isn’t it funny how things change? I don’t know what it is. Age, maybe? Or the fact that my priorities have changed? Or that my goals have changed? I believe maturity plays a part in it as well and the fact that it means something to me now. It is not only the opportunity to go to school, earn a degree and do something I want to do when I return to the workforce, but also to be a great example to my kids. That’s worth the hard work all on its own.

I heart Pinterest.

But it is killing my work routine.

I’ve long found that the beauty of working at home is that you can take an eight-hour work day and squish it into about five if you really concentrate – four if you let your toddler veg out in front of the “Wonder Pets” on repeat mode for at least two episodes.

I left the office several years ago and headed into the work from home frontier. Day one: I plopped down at the computer in my home office - a laptop precariously balanced on the edge of the dining room table a bit too close to the uncleared breakfast bowls. Immediately, I longed to lean over and chat with my cubicle mate.

I missed lingering at my friends’ desks and walking back and forth to the water fountain while I gathered my thoughts for my next story.

Yep, those luxurious days of workplace lethargy were gone. It was time to get my work done and get it done pronto. Soon, the benefits outweighed the social losses. I was done with work in time to, dare I say it, have free time.

My editor at the time noticed too. When her boss questioned why I was allowed the luxury of reporting to work in my jammies, in my kitchen, she told him that my production levels at home had almost doubled. My focus was amazing.

And with Facebook streaming on the side of the screen, talking to my friends became a technicality. We talked, just not face to face. Two birds, one stone. Ta da!

I haven’t sat in a cubicle in seven years.

However, Pinterest may kill that run. Pinterest has become the ultimate co-worker – for good and bad.

Whether it is decorations for my son’s birthday party, legitimate research for a story or dumb pictures of cats hanging upside down, it’s there. Anything I want to see, it will bring to me. It’s like having a co-worker who is willing to talk about everything you want – for hours.

And I can’t. Stop. Looking.

I check Pinterest when I turn the computer on. I check it before I turn the computer off. I checked it when I sat down to write this story and told myself, ‘I needed to, for inspiration.’ Whatever.

When I’m stuck on a word, I check Pinterest, not for the word mind you, but I need to know if my friend on the East coast noticed the way cute Halloween candy bags I just pinned.

I check it when I get up to refill my coffee and when I run to the restroom. Click your tongues if you want, but you know I’m not alone.

I love Pinterest, but I also love my condensed work day.  

So tomorrow, I will make a vow to sit down at my home office, now moved to a vacant spot on the kitchen countertop, and shun my dear Pinterest. I will write my stories without seeking its advice on beachy theme weddings or Easter decoration tutorials. I will reclaim my five-hour work day! 

And spend all the extra time I save, pinning, later that day.

People have said some strange things to me over the 10 years that I have been married to my sweet soldier.

Usually, it comes from a well-meaning civilian friend who asks, "How can you deal with all those deployments?"

He goes. He comes back. He goes and he comes back. It is a strain on him. It is a strain on me. It is a strain on our children.

But to answer the question unequivocally, I love the man.

I don't always love his job, his mission or the soldier who answers the phone and says that he is in a meeting. But I do love him.

That is how I deal with deployments.

Strength and Courage...sby

When the Declaration of Independence was signed 236 years ago today, there certainly must have been nervous wives waiting at home.

The colonies were heading to war. And their husbands would soon be on the frontlines.

Spouses of Iraq war veterans know all too well what that call to arms sounds like. Terrorists slammed planes into our cities. Innocent people died. That night, the president rallied us to arms.

It was a similar scene in 1776. The Declaration of Independence lists the injuries the British government had committed against the colonies. It was more than just taxation without representation.

The British, the writers detailed, “has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.”

They could take no more. They absolved their allegiance to the crown.

They rallied their neighbors. They were willing to fight to the death.

Today, that spirit remains. Thousands of innocent Americans died. We rallied our neighbors. Many of our soldiers have fought, to the death.

Amid the barbecues, parades and beer guzzling today, I dare you to read the Declaration of Independence.

It’s not exactly light reading or something that you pick up on a whim.

But the spirit and drive that filled the writers is palatable. You are there with them. You can take no more. You are ready to rally too.

As military spouses, we know exactly what the wives of soldiers in the Revolutionary War at home were feeling: the excitement, pride and fear. We have fulfilled a roll that our nation needed upon its birth and will rely upon as long as there are battles to fight.

Happy Birthday America and drive on my fellow military spouses. We cannot possibly continue to defend the freedom we declared so long ago without you.