Time marches forward. Wars begin. Wars end. Soldiers and families move on. But the ghosts remain. Sometimes, in the very quarters your family has been assigned.

The military has some pretty haunted spaces: airfields, hospitals, ships, even living quarters. I have heard stories about spooky happenings in all of these places.

Now, I’ll tell you my ghost story.

As a reporter for a local paper in North Carolina, I was assigned to tell the tale of Danny, the night watchman aboard the USS North Carolina, a retired battleship in Wilmington turned museum. When the photographer and I met him on the deck, just before midnight on a Friday, he wove a tale so terrifying, so unbelievable I didn’t know whether to run or dismiss the entire thing.

Turns out, Danny wasn’t lying.

Over the years, I visited Danny nearly every fall, re-telling his ghost story again and again for different publications. Every year, he looked older. Every year, he looked a little more terrified.

Danny lives aboard the ship in near isolation in a tiny room once occupied by World War II sailors. He leaves the safety of that sparse space to make his rounds each night and check for unwanted guests – of the human kind.  

It was during these rounds, on one of his first nights on the job 36 years ago, he met his most frequent intruder – of the supernatural kind.

It was pitch black and Danny was headed to a power box in the galley when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and shone his flashlight into the empty space. He heard footsteps walking away.

He jerked his light around and saw a sailor with blond hair so fair it looked white. The light from the flashlight passed right through him. As Danny screamed, the sailor disappeared.

Danny headed topside up another ladder when something began banging on the rungs above him. Footsteps began descending from above.  He jumped down and ran to the other set of ladders but stopped to pray first, “Please, God, let me out. I don’t want to die here.”

That was the first ghost story Danny told me during our many visits. I believed him, mostly. I wanted to believe him fully. But after four years of hanging out on a dark ship with nary a rattle, it was a hard story to buy.

On my very last visit, the ghost came to see me.

I took my kids, who had come to know Danny over the years, to say goodbye as we headed off to our next duty station in Hawaii.

The kids left for the car with my husband as Danny and I took one last walk around the vessel. He wanted to show me the place on board where a medium had recently felt the ghost’s presence.

It was night. We were alone - of this I’m sure. As we walked, I heard whistling.

“Danny, please, are you trying to scare me,” I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

Danny stopped walking. He could barely move as he whispered, “Allison, I can’t whistle.”

The whistling began again. Danny was standing in front of me hardly breathing and definitely not whistling.

Danny turned white. I felt sick. The hot, sticky, night summer air turned cold. 

After four years of listening to Danny tell me about ghosts chasing him up and down the length of the ship, I suddenly believed. I suddenly was terrified.

And as quickly as it came, the whistling, the cold, was gone.

“Danny,” I said. “We don’t need to see the room.”

“No,” he replied. “No, we don’t.”

Do you have a good military ghost story to share? Send it to us!

As a mom and military wife, I wear a lot of different hats. But since having my first son two years ago, I have not been successful at wearing my just “me” hat.

I felt selfish for even thinking it but I needed a break! I even started daydreaming about grocery shopping by myself. I began each day with the best intentions but by the time my husband came home, I was fried.

By the end of the day, I am too exhausted to even think about doing anything except crawling into bed and sleeping before someone needs me again. Constantly taking care of everyone else started burning me out and I needed an outlet. Fast!

My husband has always been a morning person who is up at 5 a.m. for PT at work by 7 a.m. Most annoying for me was that he is always so chipper after his workouts.

There is nothing more annoying to a sleep deprived mom then a husband who just slept eight straight, uninterrupted hours and has the energy to work out and be happy. It was driving me crazy!

I tried to get back into running again but was having a hard time motivating myself at the end of the day. For some reason, my kids melt after 4 p.m. It’s a challenge to get dinner on the table by the time my husband is home. I just don’t see how I could leave the house during such chaos to be selfish. Then, I ran one morning before my husband left for work and it actually felt good!

My wonderful husband noticed and made me an appointment at the gym with a personal trainer at 5 a.m. on a Wednesday morning. My first reaction was to smack him. All I could think of was the sleep I would be missing!

But I didn’t want to cancel so that next morning, I woke up at 4 a.m. to be at the gym at 5. I was exhausted. The baby had been up twice and had just fallen back to sleep when I needed to walk out the door. I dragged myself to the gym. I was half asleep but I was there. I had a kick butt workout and afterwards, I felt amazing. I came home refreshed and ready to tackle the day!

It’s been about a month since I started this new routine and I cannot believe I am that person at the gym at 5 a.m.!  Don’t give me too much credit, though. I only get up that early a couple of times a week. I used to think people, like my husband who were exercising that early, were crazy.

Exercise has always made me feel better about myself. It’s a stress reliever and helps me make all around healthier choices. But at this point in my life, it’s not just exercise. Taking an hour a day, a few times a week lets me walk away from all of my different roles and let me be myself.

I can check out, knowing my kids are taken care of and focus on myself and my own thoughts. I come home refreshed and happy to see my family and start our day, even if the day goes downhill 20 minutes later with a terrible two meltdown. I still had my time and my workout and somehow I have more patience to get through that tantrum.

Working out at 5 a.m. may not be for everyone. Working out may not be your thing. But find what your thing is and make time for yourself.

Whether it’s an hour a week or an hour a day, don’t forget to put yourself as a priority. You cannot take care of everyone else and everything around you if you don’t take care of yourself.  It’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. If I can do it, anyone can!

Finding a new job or college to attend in a new location can be very stressful. It is especially difficult for a military spouse who is moving every three years or less.

As a military spouse these changes can include looking for a new job, becoming a stay-at-home parent or a college student. These changes affect our everyday lifestyle.

I’ve found some tips that have eased my PCS stress and I would like to share them with you.

Research your new location:As soon as my spouse lets me know where we will be stationed, I’m on the computer doing my own of Recon of the area. This gives me a good look at what schools are best for me and for my children, the distance from my house to the base and what jobs are available in the area.

Learn about your Fleet & Family Support Services:If you have a spouse like mine who’s constantly deploying, become familiar with the Fleet Family Support Group and the Family Readiness Group. Not only do they have information on numerous programs for dependents and spouses, they also hold job fairs and help you with college information as well.

Begin Job Hunting:I’ve always found this handy for learning new information, regardless of whether I wanted to work or not. I update my resume when we get ready to PCS. I also visit the base website and search for jobs available on base. I attend job fairs and I make an appointment to talk with the Family Service Office to see what they have available.

Spouse Groups:As a mother of two, I’m around my children all the time. A couple of weeks ago I met a military spouse at a carnival who started a spouse group that goes out every Tuesday night for dinner and a movie. I attended my first meeting this week. Let me tell you, I had a great time. I actually had a full conversation with other adults and all the wives were super nice. Some of the wives’ husbands were in the same unit as mine.

Finding new ways to deal with being the new girl on the block has helped my family out so much. Hopefully it helps you out as well. You’ll be surprised how many spouses feel the same way you do and you may find a great friend along the way.

I hate to see good neighbors PCS. But I love the boxes of goodies they drop on my doorstep as they hustle off to the airport.

Here in Hawaii the PCS bounty has been especially plentiful. Families generally continue to live in housing after their furniture is packed and taken away. They don’t say their final goodbyes until the morning they board a flight off this rock.

That means there’s still a good amount of food, cleaning supplies, random dishes, Tupperware and the occasional small appliance that just isn’t going to fit in the carryon.

Since I have five kids, people tend to drop their leftovers on my doorstep more frequently than at other houses. They know it will all no doubt be eaten, used, played with, loved and eventually, if the toddler gets it, broken.

When my neighbor left last month, she was tossing boxes out the back door as housing was entering the front for their final inspection. We gained a television, CD player, towels, bowls, a massive container of cleaning supplies and three boxes of food.

I haven’t had to buy cleaning supplies since. Sadly, the toddler has already gotten her sticky hands on the CD player. And the real win here, is the food box.

Not only did my kids pick on those snacks for at least a week, but there is the adventure of trying items you would never buy for yourself.

In Hawaii, where ethnic Asian food is plentiful, there’s a lot to dig in to. My neighbor had it all.

We’ve been grilling with all sorts of flavorful fish sauces and sipping unusual teas. And the wine, thank you!

She also left half the ingredients I needed for my daughter’s upcoming first birthday party.

We’ve dropped our fair share of stuff on an unsuspecting neighbor too as we’ve rolled out of town: televisions, toy wagons, Halloween costumes, dishes and the occasional goldfish.

It’s like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for neighborhood kids. It’s the cycle of life in a military community.

However, to my neighbors now, beware. There’s going to be good stuff in that box when we make our run for the airport. But there is also always, always, always nearly an entire box of beans in our last minute cleanout. This is a phenomenon I cannot explain.

Just know, whoever gets that box, is going to remember us for quite a while.

The other day I asked myself, How did this deployment blog become a fitness journey blog?

The only answer I have is that fitness is what is propelling me through this deployment.

I went to our local running store the other day for some new running shoes and I told the owner about my first half marathon experience. The first thing that he said to me was, "So what's next?"

I quickly replied, "The Army Ten Miler and another half marathon."

The interesting thing about that is that I said it like I was ordering a cup of coffee. It was all very matter of fact. As I talk to people about the mechanics of the Army Ten Miler, I get more nervous, but I am not nervous about the actual 10 miles.

I finally realized that I am more nervous about the periphery. I am nervous about being lost in a crowd of 30,000 people.

What if I can't find my running partners at the end of the race? What if I get lost on the Metro and miss the race?

These fears are very real to me, but that is another part of this journey. Getting fit is not just about being a smaller size or being able to bench press 200 pounds. It is about taming the ‘snakes in my head’.

It is about realizing that if I talk myself into going outside of my comfort zone, I won't ever regret it - and this does spill over into my life as the spouse of a deployed soldier.

When I am scared to take my kids into a new environment (out of my comfort zone) or when I am worried about my soldier, I remember Shawn Mullins’ lyrics, "Everything's gonna be alright, rockabye ..."

Hang in there, sweet friends!

Strength and Courage ... sby 

It’s that time again for us: time to talk about our next duty station.

I know, I know. How can we be talking and thinking about a new duty station when we just got here?! My thoughts, exactly.

But that’s what we military families do. So, like I have mentioned before, my husband is only here for school until May, 2013, so it’s time for him to start looking at his options and talking with his monitor about his next job or billet. The monitor is this mysterious person we talk about but someone I will never meet. And this stranger just so happens to control a huge part of my husband’s career which directly affects when and where our family goes. 

My husband called me during lunch one day this week and asked me if I liked Florida. I got a little excited because I thought he meant we were going on vacation. False. He spoke with his monitor and our new duty station was narrowed down to two choices: Tampa, Fl., or Virginia Beach, VA.

A little background information, neither of these are Marine Corps bases so I was a little unprepared for those options. You would think it would be great news to have it narrowed down to these two places but I feel like we are better off not knowing at all. We all know that information like this is useless until there are actual orders in your hand. We can’t really do anything to prepare for this move until its official and that won’t be until January or February.  

To be honest, I would almost rather not know! I should probably be grateful to know the two possibilities, but it is still frustrating. From now until February we will do our research and try hard not to fall in love with one place over the other to prevent disappointment.

I’m not sure how much say my husband has in the decision making process and maybe I am better off not knowing any of the discussions between he and his mysterious monitor. It seems like it would be a wonderful change in our lives to have some sort of control regarding our next move but, sometimes, it’s easier to have that decision made for you. That way if it’s a total bummer you have someone else to blame.  

But to be honest, both of these places are a win for us. Our very best friends, who became like family in California, are in Tampa now. And Virginia Beach was home to us before the Marine Corps entered our lives. We couldn’t be in a better position. It would just be nice to know where we are going as soon as possible.

So, we will keep adjusting to our current, “new” duty station as we prepare for another one. We could easily stress about another move but worrying about something that is not definite and could easily change doesn’t seem worth it right now.

I’ve learned that if I focus too much about where we are going or what our future holds, I miss out on the little things that are happening now.

And even though I may not be in love with where we are now, my family is together and there is nowhere else I would rather be then right here, right now.

The holidays are here, my favorite time of the year. It’s also the busiest time of the year.

October is Halloween - doors and front yards are decorated with spider webs, witches and goblins. My pantry looks like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and it seems like every week there’s an event to attend to.

On top of that, I have midterms.

I have three classes to study for and their midterms are all the same week. My brain is going to be fried by the end of this. Every hour counts for me. Any little bit of time, doesn’t matter where I’m at, needs to be spent studying.  I say that to myself every morning when I open my eyes, yet the day doesn’t quiet go as planned.

This week my daughter has Back to School night. It’s only for a couple of hours but those are precious hours that I could spend making flash cards and going over my notes from class.

Also, my son has Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practice which has been moved to a farther location, meaning more time in the car and less time with the books.

Plus, my husband is in the field for two days this week which means I have to make sure he has all of his

gear ready to go.

Since most of my time is spent running around with, or for, my family, I’ve had to get creative when I study. My little, secret place is my car. I have a stash of flashcards in my glove compartment so if I’m waiting on someone, or just need some peace and quiet, I go in my car and study for a bit. My husband looks at me like I am crazy sometimes but it works.

I’m a visual person so for me to remember what I’m studying, I have to physically see it. I have tons of flashcards. Also, I watch School House Rock on YouTube. Yes, it’s really old school, but those videos give me a lot of information and the songs are catchy - which also helps me to remember.

Through all the hustle and bustle I still manage to get to class on time, attend any after-school events my children have, run my list of errands, help my husband pack, make dinner and help with homework.

To keep myself motivated through these hectic times I made myself a goal sheet that lists what I’ve achieved and what I still need to accomplish to become a registered nurse. I look at my achievements and that motivates me to keep moving forward.

So at night, when the house is quiet and the children are sleeping; I will pour myself a big glass of coffee and hit the books.

I wish there was a class for multi-tasking because that’s a class I would definitely get an “A” in.

First, some quick background information:

When we PCS’d to Hawaii, my husband and I realized we were exponentially behind the curve in popular culture. Everyone seemed to have the television show “Lost” memorized, knew all the local filming locations and claimed to have eaten lunch with a cast member at least once.

So, we watched all six seasons in about six months. As the characters traveled through space and time, one of the oft heard catch phrases was, “See you in another life, brother.”

As our three-year tour in Hawaii swiftly comes to a close, and our friends begin to pack their things as well, I hear that phrase in my head over and over. It fits the military life perfectly.

I’ve learned, in the military, you never really say goodbye. The community is so small, and so mobile, that you may eventually see people again.

And it almost feels like a lifetime away.

Friends I made in South Korea as a newlywed, hanging out on Friday night with no commitments until Monday morning, have resurfaced now, 12 years later, with babies and busy schedules.

Friends I made in North Carolina who mentored me through those early days of motherhood as they cared for their school-age children, are sending those kids off to college and looking at the ease of retirement.

With each move, the changes are staggering: a new location, new friends, new extracurricular activities and a new type of life.

In the spaces between our reunions, we grow, change and improve.

Each time we meet again, they are the same people, but indeed are in the midst of living another adventure, another life.

Last week, our dear neighbors left for Germany.  As parents of teenagers, they were good with advice and fun to talk to over the fence line as we both barbecued on Friday nights.

I will miss them. But I’m certain we will eventually see them again.

When we do, they will be easing into retirement and we will be asking for more of their great advice, this time, for our teenagers.

Until then, Godspeed. And I’ll see you in another life, brother.

I have written several times about my little sweet boy, but I haven't told you much about my other two children. My sweet girl celebrated her eighth birthday just the other day and I couldn't be prouder of her.

One of the things that my mother taught me (and I am trying to teach my sweet girl) is that it is always better to be "inside out" pretty. Think about it. If you are pretty on the inside, then you are pretty on the outside.  It is not always easy, but every day we work on it!

My sweet girl is in second grade and she is quite the handful (I’m sure my mother is laughing as she reads this realizing that "the mother's curse" is alive and well!). She is athletic and can really give the boys a run for their money. She makes good grades and she has a wit and sense of humor that I really can only attribute to her father!

My sweet soldier says I am harder on her than I am the boys and he is probably right. My father taught me the importance of having a firm handshake and being independent. In the absence of sweet girl's father, I want her to learn those valuable lessons too. I want her to have this world on her terms and I want her to know that she doesn't have to depend on anyone for anything. She can do anything she has set in her mind.

But until she grows up and moves out (or maybe then too), "There is no peace I find, but this old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind."

Strength and Courage ... sby

This past week I left my comfort zone and tried to be the outgoing, play-date-planning military wife and stay at home mom.  A few other spouses have hosted coffees at their homes and I felt like it would be nice to return the favor.

In a perfect world, I would invite everyone to my home, have the kids paint pumpkins, serve homemade treats, coffee and put all my Pinterest ideas into action. But our home is so small we can’t even invite anyone over for dinner, let alone multiple people with multiple children. The truth was, the very thought of a busy play date made me anxious.

So instead of telling people, ‘Hey I’d love to have you over but our house is too small and I hate it and you’re so lucky you didn’t get stuck in this neighborhood’, I thought a neutral meeting place might work. I had taken my son to a local museum that had neat playgrounds, lots of space to run and benches where the moms could sit, drink coffee and chat. 

I emailed some of my husband’s colleagues’ wives and thought of the 15 or so ladies, a few would be able to make it. I’m always looking for ways to let my kids burn energy outside so it seemed like a great idea. I told my husband about my big play date and he was proud of me for taking initiative.

I guess I better stick to my day job of living vicariously through Pinterest because I feel like my play date was an epic fail.

I am thankful for the two women who came (thanks ladies!) but my son ended up acting like a total crazy kid. He not only put freshly fallen acorns into his mouth but rocks as well! He then washed it down by drinking puddles off the playground from the rain that had fallen the night before.  To top it off, he ran away from me and refused listen and follow directions.

I know he is a typical two-year-old and I have definitely learned to pick my battles with him, but this was a day when I wanted to scoop him up and take him home. Instead, I politely pulled him aside to tell him that we don’t put rocks in our mouths.  When I pictured being a mom, I never thought I would have these conversations with my kids! 

This all took place after I spilled the only bottle I brought for the baby in my diaper bag and soaked all the diapers.  And a hungry, wet 3-month-old is no fun for mom or anyone else. It was just one of those days when I felt like I am never going to figure this whole mom thing out! All I could think about was how to decide when it would be okay to leave and return to the comfort of my tiny house.

I left feeling not only like my play date was a total failure, but also that my kid will also be known as the rock eater and puddle drinker.

I guess it could be worse. I keep telling myself we tried and that’s what matters. Either way, I am going to stand back and let other people take over the play date planning for a while.

That’s if we ever get invited again.