There are no words.

What could we possibly say to comfort you? To give you peace? To make this right.

There are no words.

When we send our service members overseas to fight, we internally prepare ourselves for the worst.

When we receive stateside orders, that placement is our safe time. Our break from the risks of war.

To lose a spouse, father, son, friend in war is heartbreaking.

To lose them here at home, to a wartime act, where we expect to be safe, where life is supposed to be ok, that, is agonizing.

There are no words to make this heartache stop. To undo the horror.

Please know, we are grieving with you and you are in the thoughts and prayers of each and every one of us.

Semper Fi.

If you don't have anyone stationed overseas right now, you can still send a good wishes and candy to those that are.

Mars Chocolate has partnered with Operation Gratitude and NASCAR to ship care packages to troops in combat zones. While families are not allowed to send letters or packages addressed to "any U.S. soldier," they can slip a note into the boxes sent by Operation Gratitude.

Visit: http://signup.operationgratitude.com/mars

There, you can write a thank you note, message of encouragement or a simple hello. That message will be printed by Operation Gratitude and sent in a care package to a service member overseas.

And, every message entered will be attached to a package of M&Ms, donated by Mars Chocolate.

So, get the kids together, have them write a note to someone overseas. It will make a service member's day and give your kids a fun summer activity to do, for a few minutes at least!

I have a love/hate relationship with the U.S., specifically my home state of Florida. I love it when I am not there, and hate it when I am. My family is very fortunate to have lived overseas for so many years and had so many cool adventures. But, on some days, I just want to go to Wal-Mart in my pajamas at midnight and buy some corn tortillas, a gallon of two-percent milk and my favorite brand of toothpaste.

Top 10 things I miss about living in the United States:

1. Shopping 24/7. Here in Germany, and many foreign countries, businesses are closed on Sunday. This includes just about everything except restaurants and (most) gas stations. Malls, supermarkets, large chains, mom and pop businesses and everything in between are closed on Sunday, by law. Many also close early on Saturday, and smaller businesses often take a one- or two-hour lunch break during the week. Oh, and don’t forget about the one-month vacation – many small businesses and restaurants, as well as doctors, dentists and other professional offices, close down for an entire month in the summer.

2. My DVR. Oh, how I miss recording a show and being able to watch it later at my leisure. Granted, we do have AppleTV, Hulu and Netflix, plus a selection of American shows aired on the military-run TV stations and some U.S. cable channels. But often that one show or sporting we want to watch isn’t available online. Or if it’s on one of the available U.S. channels it airs in the middle of the night. Anyone want to stay up with me until 2 a.m. to watch the Super Bowl?

3. Chick fil A. For the love of god, why am I so enthralled with the No. 1 combo, sweet tea, hold the pickles? We have plenty of fast food here, including McDonald’s, KFC, Burger King and Taco Bell, yet we rarely eat any of those. In fact, my kids hate McDonald’s. But tell them we are moving and the first thing they want to know is whether the new location has a Chick fil A. Oh, and a Krispy Kreme. Mmmm, Krispy Kreme …

4.   Customer service. Perhaps it’s a language barrier problem, or just a cultural difference, but customer service often seems nonexistent here. If you go into a store and ask where something is, they will tell you it’s “in the electronics section.” Ok, where is the electronics section? That will likely be answered with a vague wave of the hand. And don’t bother asking for anything out of the ordinary in a restaurant – sauce on the side, for example. That will probably get you a sigh and a roll of the eyes, and your sauce might or might not come on the side. Or it might not come at all.

5.  Paying with a debit card. Although the use of credit and debit cards is becoming more common, many businesses still operate on a cash-only basis. That’s fine if you run into the grocery store for a liter of milk, but it’s a whole different story if you are buying living room furniture.

6. Local news. This is another one of those language barrier things. Because my German is not great, I can’t just turn on the TV or go online and watch or read the local news. And if I could, the news cycle doesn’t run 24 hours a day like it does in the U.S. Often we see something going on – a car crash, a fire, a protest, a new construction project – and would like to know more about it. It’s like living in a vacuum. You just hope you don’t miss anything important.

7. Stop signs. Driving in Germany is a great experience worthy of its own post at a later point. But there are very few stop signs in Germany and no such thing as a four-way stop. Main roads are declared “priority roads” and anyone entering them has to yield the right of way to those already on the priority road. However, if neither road is declared a priority, the person on your right always has the right of way at an intersection, despite the lack of any sort of stop or yield sign. This is true mostly on smaller neighborhood streets and in parking lots, but it causes a lot of confusion for us Americans. German drivers who are used to these rules don’t even slow down at such an intersection. They will simply glance to their right and if they see no one coming they keep going. They never even look to the left. American drivers, on the other hand, have a tendency to slow down and look both ways. This often results in getting honked at by impatient Germans.

8. Being able to talk on the phone. The six-hour time difference to the East Coast, and more to other parts of the U.S., makes it hard to connect via phone with family and friends back in the States. Yes, we have email and Facebook, but sometimes you just want to have a real conversation. That’s hard to do when it’s early evening here and everyone back in the U.S. is in the middle of their work day.

9. Ice. I love my drinks with lots of ice – whether it’s soda, water or a cocktail. But for whatever reason Germans, and Europeans in general, don’t do ice. This is made even more odd to me by the fact that their refrigerators are not kept that cold. A bottle of soda or juice from a refrigerated case in a store is often barely cooler than room temperature. Sometimes, if you get lucky, the wait staff at a restaurant will take note that you are American and bring you a little bowl of ice with a tiny scooper or set of tongs. This is very nice of them, but if you have to split that little bowl four ways you each get exactly one cube.

10.  Pop culture. I have no idea who Lena Dunham is or why she’s famous, I have heard the song “Uptown Funk” exactly three times and I know nothing about current fashion (are Crocs still cool?). When writing this I checked what was trending on Yahoo, and thought “Chevy Cruze” was a person. That being said, we do have the internet so this information is readily available. I just am not inundated with it on a daily basis. Wait, maybe I don’t miss that after all.

Winter is finally gone! It's time to shed the extra weight of layered clothing, pack up the sweaters and jackets and add a little color to your wardrobe. Some employers will loosen up the dress code a bit during the summer months, but be careful not to go overboard.

To keep your professional image intact, follow these basic summer dress code tips and your summer style won't land you in hot water.

Tops

For men and women short sleeved shirts that button up and short sleeved cotton tops with crew necks or v-necks are perfect to wear with suit jackets, lightweight button up sweaters, or alone. Polo shirts are acceptable, but stay away from tank tops, halter tops, spaghetti straps and t-shirts, especially those with graphics and words. And men, either wear the tie or don't wear it, but avoid the open collar with a loose tie hanging around your neck as if you worked all night or are headed to happy hour.

Bottoms

Trade in your dark colors and heavy fabrics for dress pants and slacks in light colors and lightweight fabrics. Lightweight fabrics include cotton, linen, and polyester/cotton blend. Save the shorts (no shorter than halfway up the thigh), capris and jeans for the office cookout and save the exercise wear for exercising.

Dresses/skirts

In general, hemlines should not rise with the temperature. Skirts and dresses should fall between an inch or so above to an inch or so below the knees. Neither nightclub wear (tight and made of spandex), daytime fun wear (long and flowing), nor sports wear (tennis skirts) should be worn at work.

Accessories

Keep the style of accessories consistent with clothing: conservative. For example, while you may trade your gold and silver baubles for a little color don't let jewelry become too distracting and certainly don't go too big or add too many pieces. In most cases, you should stick with no additional visible piercings beyond the ears and don't wear sunglasses inside, not even as a headband.

Footwear

While it's not inappropriate for women to wear sandals in the workplace with properly groomed feet, they should be more dressy than casual. Leather sandals in neutral colors and around two inch heels are safest, but flip-flops are never ok. Most men's sandals will appear too casual for the office, so opt instead for a soft leather slip on dress shoe, like loafers.

Colors

While it is ok to wear brighter colors and patterns, don't go overboard with flashy designs. Fluorescent colors, very busy patterns and Hawaiian-print are more on the casual side of patterns. Stripes, small polka dots (the smaller, the better) and solid colors are more appropriate for the summertime workplace.

No matter the season, presenting a professional and polished look is important to your career. So while workplace attire may be a bit more relaxed during summer months, your employer's expectations won't be.

Some of you will lose your job in the next few months.

The Army announced this week that 40,000 active duty soldiers will be pink-slipped in an effort to wrangle the defense budget. Another 17,000 civilians will also be sent packing.

While the cuts have loomed for months, this week's announcement finally laid out the location for those cuts. Every base on the planet will lose personnel. The states of Alaska and Georgia will be hardest hit.

The first round of dismissals will come this October and roll through the next two years.

Which means, if you are in that group, you have just a few months to put together your resume and hit the ground running.

Losing a job, especially a job you love, is one of the hardest transitions. And these cuts have nothing to do with performance or an individual's ability. This is math. This is lack of money. Nothing more.

And it will be hardest on those who are removed from the ranks and sent home. It's hard to understand why, after doing your best and sacrificing everything, that you would be told, 'You are done.'

We know it is coming. Now, we need to prepare for it.

Unlike some layoffs that come without warning and happen in the course of a day, luckily, military members and their families have several months to prepare.

Trust me, this makes you very lucky.

Head into the transition office on base and have the staff their help you prepare your resume. They can also prep you for civilian job interviews and develop successful talking points.

Begin scouring job ads. Consider where you want to live, because now, you get to choose. Consider what kind of career you want to grow, because again, now, you get to choose.

Leaving the military is hard. But this transition is a chance for you to appreciate what you've gained in the military and to move forward and thrive.

It's a chance to pick a job that will allow you to be home, with no deployments. To make more money. To wear any clothes you want, every day.

Begin looking at college options. You could use your GI-Bill benefits and go back to school. Full-time students often qualify for living expenses while they attend.

There is no question the next few months are going to be awful for a lot of military households. Take a night. Mourn the end of this career. Complain and moan about the leadership and those darn senators and their budgets. Get it out.

Then, the next morning, get moving.

The end of this era is the beginning of amazing opportunity.

Attention all military members. If you are using a the Post-9/11 GI Bill, you may now be considered an in-state student.

Regardless of how long you've lived in the state, where your license was issued or where you own property.

On July 1, schools were required to comply with the Section 702 of the Veterans Access, choice and Accountability Act of 2014. The rule mandates that the VA will not make payments to schools if qualifying Veterans and their dependents are charged rates higher than those charged to resident students.

The act is meant to protect military families' tuition benefits from being taken away by schools who overcharge them for performing military service and being constantly on the move from state to state, unable to establish residency.

Still, not every GI Bill recipient will qualify. Here are the rules:

- Students must be receiving tuition assistance through the Post-9/11 GI Bill or Montgomery GI Bill - Active Duty.

- Student (military member of family member) must live in the same state as the school and enroll within three years of discharge from a period of active duty service of 90 days or more

- Students who initially meet the requirements will remain qualified to receive in-state tuition as long as they remain continuously enrolled at the school, even if they are outside the 3-year window or enroll in multiple programs

- States are required to ensure all public institutions of higher education are offering in-state tuition and fees to qualifying individuals. This includes the military member as well as spouses, including same-sex spouses and children (biological, adopted, pre-adoptive and stepchildren).

Schools that do not comply will stop receive payment from the VA for all Post-9/11 GI Bill students.

Have questions? Think you are being overcharged? Let the VA know.

Contact the VA specifically about this provision by emailing: Section702.Vbavaco@va.gov

The VA will continue to post updates about the Post-9/11 GI Bill on its website at www.benefits.va.gov/gibill

Or call with your questions at 1-888-GIBILL-1

Five years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, a client of mine hoisted in a big gift bag one day.

It was filled with hand-knit and hand-sewn baby blankets and embroidered hoodie towels and washcloths.

It was such a touching gift, especially considering she was a mother herself and an active-duty sailor.

Throughout my pregnancy, she told me about delivering and caring for her first child, all while she served her country.

In an extremely male-dominated field, she had a hard time.  She didn’t have a support network, and when she had to return to work – and sometimes various periods of longer-than-normal separation from her son at just six weeks post-partum - it was heart-wrenching and logistically difficult.

She had to navigate breastfeeding and pumping and all the emotions that came with leaving him with her a caregiver that wasn’t her or her husband, who is also active-duty and was deployed at the time.

While I’ve heard the maternity-leave situation described as less than ideal by many working mothers, including military mothers, I realized soon that six weeks maternity leave was often a gross injustice to women who serve and families who sacrifice.

Which is why, when the U.S. Navy announced last week that they tripled maternity leave offered to active-duty sailors and Marines – making maternity leave 18 weeks long instead of six – I fist-pumped like it affected me personally.

I’m really proud of who my husband works for; I’m happy for the women he serves with.

You can complain about the Old Boy’s Club all you want; a lot of it can be true when it comes to the military.  But currently, the U.S. Navy is quite a bit more progressive when it comes maternity leave than most of the country and a lot of major corporations.

I am so happy for my generous former client, who is pregnant with her second child.  She now has triple the amount of time to recover from her C-section and establish a connection with her second-born.

This labor and delivery won’t be as heart-wrenching. She’ll have more support.  She has more post-partum recovery time; she has time she’s owed for her service.

That’s patriotic progress to be proud of.

By Tiffany Shedd

Summer is upon us. The kids have been out of school for a few weeks. And, I bet you’re already tired of hearing “I’m bored”.

It doesn’t matter if your child is special needs or not, they all feel it is their inalienable right to never be bored. They may have hundreds of toys, videogames, DVDs and Netflix account, but, they will still claim they are bored.

Hopefully, I can give you a few ideas on how to keep them busy enough that they won’t have time to be bored.

As any parent of a special needs child knows, a schedule is your friend. Even during summer break, kids need a schedule. Come up with one that works for your family. If your kids are younger, your schedule is going to look a lot different than one that’s meant for older kids.

If you don’t how to create a schedule, here are a few suggestions. Obviously, you’ve got meals. There’s three things for your schedule right there. If your kids still take naps (lucky you), schedule that. If they aren’t nappers, that’s a little more time to fill up, but you can plan some quiet activity time, such as reading.

If you know that your kid is most energetic in the morning, don’t schedule reading time for the morning. Work with your kids’ energy cycles. If your kids are laid back and like a slow start to their morning, don’t try to get them up and out the door. That won’t go well for anyone.

Once you’ve figured out your kids’ natural schedule, try to fill in some of your time with activities they will enjoy. My child is a go-go-go kind of kid. So, our schedule includes a lot of trips in the car to go places.

Your schedule doesn’t need to include daily trips, but having a few outings a week will go a long way to quelling the boredom. You can use these outings as rewards for good behavior or motivation.

Once you’ve got motivation, be sure to include chores into your daily and weekly schedule. If they know they start the day off by making their bed and end it by straightening their room, it lessens the arguments and whining. To be clear, there will still be whining and arguments, but after a week hopefully it won’t be as bad.

Now that the boring stuff is out of the way, here are some fun suggestions about how to fill up those long summer days. You probably know about Operation Purple and their generous summer camps for military kids. But did you know that there are camps for military kids with special needs? There are several organizations, such as Operation We are Here and Military Special Needs Network, that make this possible. Check out these websites to learn more about these camp opportunities:

http://www.joomag.com/magazine/msnn-special-needs-camp-guide/0386017001390415784

http://www.operationwearehere.com/EFMP.html

While it may be too late to participate in one of these camps this summer, you can definitely start planning for next summer.

If you don’t want to send your kids away to camp, there are always summer reading programs.

Don’t let the summer be an excuse for your kids to forget the important reading lessons they had at school. Your local library or installation likely has a summer reading program for your kid to be involved in.

Our local library even includes pre-school kids and allows parents to read to them. We have a great library system that gives the kids lots of great incentives for signing up for the program and completing it. They area also doing a ton of great learning programs every week.  If your local library doesn’t have a program, here is information about the DoD-MWR Summer Reading Program: https://www.ila.org/dodsumread/

 If a reading program doesn’t sound like that much fun, there are lots of other fun and inexpensive activities in your community. Regal Cinemas has $1 kids’ movies throughout the summer. They may not be sensory sensitive specific, but because they are second run movies for kids, patrons will probably be less likely to be upset if your child isn’t the perfect theater goer.

To find a theater near you, visit: http://www.regmovies.com/movies/summer-movie-express

If you have water lovers, but a pool is too intimidating, look for splash pads. All the fun of getting wet without the drowning risks. If you don’t have water kids, check out all the playgrounds in your community. Maybe try a new one every week. Or if your kid doesn’t like change, stick with your favorite.

If you’re looking for something bigger, check with your Morale, Welfare and Recreation office. You will find lots of great deals for fun stuff to do. They have discounted tickets for movies, sporting events, aquariums, zoos, amusement parks, etc. You can also rent sports equipment and other fun stuff. Is your yard big enough for a bouncy house? You can rent one from MWR. If loud noises aren’t a problem for your kids, check out your installations bowling alley. Go during the week during the day, and you’re likely to find you have the whole place to yourself.

Hopefully, you’ll find something here that keeps your kids from driving you bananas with their cries of boredom. Just remember that summer doesn’t last forever. School will be starting again before you know it. Take some time to have fun with your kids.

It’s PCS season. It’s vacation season. You may be laying your head down on a lot of pillows that are not yours.

Which means you may encounter some unwanted travel companions, such as bedbugs.

The tiny, flat, sometimes nearly invisible pests can hide anywhere: hotel rooms, theaters, libraries, nearly all public places.

People are their main source of food. They are active only at night and leave bite marks much like a mosquito or flea. While bedbugs do not spread disease, they can very difficult to get rid of and that process often causes the most distress.

If you can’t see them, how can you avoid them?

You can start at The Bedbug Registry, bedbugregistry.com

The online clearing house of all things bedbug was started by a computer programmer who got bit, and had enough. She created the site so that travelers could post their encounters and where they happened.

Users searching for bedbug warnings can enter a hotel name or street address to see if there are any reports. Travelers who come across the nasty little boogers can hop on the site and write an alert.

The registry creator tells visitors that while most of the entries are posted by honest travelers, it is impossible for her to travel to each location and validate the existence of bedbugs. So, take the report with a grain of salt. Any site that does not have another report made within two years is removed.

Experts cite the registry as the place to begin when you are booking your vacation. Check for bedbug reports and the frequency of reports at one location. One sighting? They may or may not be hiding in that hotel. Ten sightings, you might want to pick a new location.

The registry also offers detailed instructions on how to check for bedbugs when you arrive at your destination, what to do if you think you’ve found them and most importantly, how to keep them from coming home with you.

Happy travels, try to sleep soundly.

https://membracid.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/how-to-inspect-your-hotel-room-for-bed-bugs/

Have you ever watched “House Hunters International?” You know, that show on TV that features people looking for a home in a foreign country? It makes me laugh. Every time

No offense to the folks on the show, but their list of “must haves” is often lofty. A master suite? More than 2,000 square feet? Air conditioning? A garbage disposal? A two-car garage? A large yard?

Yeah … no. Not going to happen outside the United States (at least not very often).

We’ve lived in seven different homes in four countries outside the U.S.

I know this to be a fact: Housing is one of the hardest tests of living overseas.

In Okinawa, Japan, we looked at a traditional Japanese home with a fabulous soaking tub in the bathroom. The only shower, though, was in the laundry room, with no shower curtain or doors to prevent the spray of water all over the washer and dryer. Needless to say, we passed.

Later, in Seoul, Korea, we moved into a three-bedroom, 1,200-square-foot apartment. That laundry room was also unique: The washer was behind the dryer. Pregnant with my first child, at seven months along I could no longer fit between the two. Laundry became my husband’s job, and if he was out of town I was in trouble.

In Toronto, Canada, we lived in what my kids called “the hippie house.” Built in the late 1960s, it featured a large indoor garden – a 10-foot-by-10-foot space enclosed in glass, smack in the middle of the house. One bathroom had turquoise blue and lime green wallpaper on the ceiling. The Brady Bunch-style wall oven was original to the house, and had to be turned on and off with a pair of pliers. I had one small wish in that house – an oven younger than I was.

Our first time in Germany, we lucked out with a nice townhouse in a cute little town near the post where my husband worked. Its only real quirk was the fact that the 1,400 square feet were spread out over four floors. Oh, and since our bedroom was so small and lacking closet space, my husband had to keep his clothes two floors down in the basement. He called that house “the habitrail,” because we spent most of our time running up and down the stairs like a couple of over-energized hamsters, often carrying one of our two small children in our arms.

Now we are in base housing in Germany, for the second time. It, too, has its challenges. First and foremost, we live in stairwell apartments. For us, that means the fourth floor with no elevator. There are 68 steps from bottom to top. At least I don’t need to go to the gym.