This week the U.S. Labor Department said there are more jobs available in the U.S. now than at any point in the last 15 years.

So, why are you still having a hard time finding a job?

Experts say employers are not just looking for new hires, they are taking their time finding the right new hires.

Labor Department reports say the number of open jobs jumped 5.2 percent to 5.4 million, reports the Christian Science Monitor. Experts, the Monitor says, believe this means employers see the recent sales slump as a result of a miserable winter, not an overall trend.
 

As a result, they are opening more positions to prepare for higher customer demand during summer months.

Even with all those jobs, hiring in the same month fell.

The Monitor reports that experts say this means employers are looking for more than a warm body to fill these spots. In fact, the paper reports that employers say they are having a hard time finding qualified workers.

And that tosses the ball firmly into our court.

Are you looking for a job? You now need to consider that process to be your fulltime job.

Look over your resume, consider hiring a professional resume writer to proof it or even re-write it for you.

Reconsider your skill sets. Were you a substitute teacher at your last duty station? Look at the skills you have and how those can be applied to other fields and jobs. Tailor your resume and cover letter to every single job you apply for rather than blanket every employer with a bland, one-size-fits-all approach.

Do you need to go back to school? You might. What additional certifications or credentials might put you ahead of the pack?

Swallow your pride. Be an intern. If you have the right skill set to switch fields, but not the experience, you may have to spend a year volunteering or serving as an intern, without pay. The experience you gain will help boost your resume and may be invaluable when it comes to finding a job in the future.

Employers are hiring. Jobs are there.

It is time to take a hard look at yourself and prepare yourself to stand out from the stack of resumes on their desk.

I have been struggling to keep my head above water the last few months. My husband has been away at a 10-week course only a few hours away. There were a few weekends we were able to have him home for the weekend. In my mind, it doesn’t get much better than that! Or, so I thought.

I did not emotionally prepare myself for the disaster that would ensue. In my mind, this would be easy peasy!

Instead of daddy coming home in the middle of dinner or bedtime, we Skyped. Or tried to. Most nights, the boys were overtired and didn’t have the attention span to talk. I jam packed activities into not just our weekdays, but also over the weekends as well.

Weekends without your significant other are the worst - kids or no kids. So I kept us busy and tried to make up for the missing link.  But something was missing. I felt like I was slowly unraveling.

I assumed my husband would be able to come home most weekends. And I had the thought in the back of my mind that I would have relief when he did. But, after our first week apart, it was hard for our schedules to link up to chat. How was it possible to be in the same time zone and not find time to talk?

And then he had duty and assignments to do on the weekend and couldn’t come home. I became irritated. I also barely spent any time at home with my kids because I kept our schedules so busy.  

I did not realize how busy we had become until I had friends asking to get our kids together and I literally had no time free to “pencil” it in. I felt panicked and rushed all day, every day. I found myself short on patience, annoyed and grumpy. All. The Time.

And exhausted.

Gone are the days of a newborn or infant waking up every two hours. So I should be rested! Instead it’s the same battles from the time my little ones wake up until bedtime.

And my sleep is broken by sneaky toddlers coming into my room in the middle of the night or yelling for water or for me to cover them up. I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night.  I felt like I was failing at everything. But I kept pushing through.

I also finally got a job! I was thrilled. Light at the end of the tunnel! Until my daycare provider fell through. What good is a job with no daycare? I felt like the universe was telling me to stop everything and be satisfied with being a fulltime stay at home mom and military spouse.  

One night as I was trying to close my eyes, I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. I started panicking. Was I having a heart attack? I tried to control my breathing. I prayed it would go away and I would wake up to my children.

I did. But I called my doctor just to be sure. I have never been to the doctor so much in my entire life. Labs after labs and even a few x-rays. The verdict? Anxiety.

Solution? Medication. I was devastated. Is this the only solution? Of course I have stress and anxiety.  What mother and military spouse doesn’t?  But I have been through tougher things! This wasn’t even a deployment! How would I handle that if I couldn’t keep it together for three months? I left the doctors office feeling defeated.

For right now, I am comfortable with knowing that this is just a tough season of life for us. I am not sure if I will go forward with the medication but I do think I would benefit from talking to a counselor or therapist familiar with military life.  

And, I plan to slow down some of my commitments. Military families take on a lot.  And even though I am so grateful for the life I live and the gifts we have been given, it’s a tough life.  We can simply not do it all.  I have a background in psychology, it’s time I accept that there is someone out there to help me. Even if its simply getting some things off my chest and reprioritizing and refocusing.

So I hope in my transparency, I am able to help someone else. It’s okay to feel like you don’t have it all together. I guarantee you that you are not alone.

It’s okay to not love this lifestyle sometimes! But the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, so we must make the best of what we are given. And this isn’t forever. it's just a tough season.

By Christine Cioppa

Your family received the orders. It’s time for a Permanent Change of Station (PCS). If you’re like Kathy Broniarczyk, Director of Family Support at the Military Family Research Institute, and Army spouse, this responsibility falls on you more times than not. You’re holding the family together, packing and unpacking. You’re doing it all! 

Broniarczyk has moved 14 times in her 20 years of marriage to her husband, who was in the Army on active duty and with the National Guard (now retired after 23 years). Of those 27 packs and unpacks, Broniarczyk says her husband was only there for five of them, leaving the remaining 22 packs and unpacks hers to manage. Fortunately, the packers never lost a pet or shipped a garbage can full of trash. But, these things have happened during the chaos of a move and only add to the stress of an already trying time.  

Fortunately, there are things you can do to make the transition easier and less stressful for you and your family. Before your move, add the following to your checklist of things to do:  

Research your installation’s climate. First thing to do is find out about your new installation. Go online. When Broniarczyk moved, there was no Internet. She says it’s a wonderful resource to make things easier. Find out about the climate. Find out as much as you can. Broniarczyk says you don’t want to pack Arizona desert clothes for a move to Washington, where it rains all the time and necessitates sweatshirts, jackets and umbrellas. If you’re prepared, Broniarczyk says you don’t have the stress of buying new things when you move.  

Take advantage of the sponsorship program. “Investigate if your new unit has a sponsor program. A lot of the units in a lot of the branches have them,” says Broniarczyk. If you participate, you’ll be assigned a sponsor. Broniarczyk says that having someone who is already on the ground is a tremendous help. That person can answer a lot of questions you have and get information you need in advance, she adds.  

Be proactive if pregnant. If pregnant and within a month of delivery, Broniarczyk says planning is important. “Have a plan A and a plan B and a plan C.” She says women should find out if their medical records are going to transfer and if all the admission paperwork is at the particular hospital. Having moved several times in the States and twice overseas, Broniarczyk says that she hand-carries all her important papers in a carry-on bag. She advises carrying your maternity records with you as you travel.  “If your family is in transit and you go in labor, you’ll need everything right there with you,” she says.  If delivering in a military hospital, the OBGYN may be the one on duty, and may not be your same OBGYN, says Broniarczyk. Having a plan and knowing what hospital or installation you will deliver at is important. Also, having a phone conversation with the new OBGYN taking over your care can be beneficial, she says.  

Help children cope. “Whatever children are feeling is okay,” Broniarczyk says. Acknowledging to your children that moving is hard is important, she says. It’s important to accept feelings, whether they are sad they are moving, fearful of making friends or anxious about unknowns. She urges not to downplay those emotions by saying, “Don’t worry. You’ll be okay.”  “Be real honest about what you know and don’t know, because kids are going to know if you are faking it,” says Broniarczyk. She says it is okay to say, “I’m not sure. I don’t know what it is going to be like.” Or you could say, “We know A, we know B, we know C, we know D. You know what? I don’t know about E and that is going to be a surprise for us.” Another helpful approach is helping them work through some of those fears and anxieties in their minds. If, for example, they are worried about making new friends, you can talk about that and reinforce positive past experiences. You could say, “Remember when you moved here? You didn’t know anybody either. So what did you do to make friends?” Broniarczyk adds, “Chances are if they made friends where they are currently at, they are going to be able to make friends where they are going.”  Bridging the activities enjoyed from one community to next can also help. Broniarczyk says that if they enjoyed going to the library or playing soccer, for example, you could say to them, “You know what, where we are going there are libraries too!” or  “Let’s explore and check out what soccer teams are in the new community. Maybe we can belong to the YMCA.”  

Prevent move mishaps. After 22 packs and unpacks by herself, Broniarczyk has a routine that helps things go smoothly. All in all, it comes down to being organized and “getting a system that works for you,” she says. Broniarczyk makes sure she takes everything she doesn’t want packed and locks it in her car or in a bathroom with a big sign that says, “Don’t pack this room.” Making sure movers know what to pack and not to pack — or what rooms to access —  is really important. Broniarczyk said she has heard stories of packers packing garbage cans filled with garbage or a backpack filled with library books from the place they were moving from. If a mover opens a door that has the cat inside, the cat can run out. “Make sure you take animals to the kennel when you are packing,” advises Broniarczyk.  If you have children, the packing process is even more complex and depends on what your children can handle. “You don’t want a three-year-old to leave in the morning with all the stuff in the house and come back and there is nothing left,” says Broniarczyk. She suggests letting them stay a little bit and see what the packers are doing. Then, you can take them to childcare to keep them occupied.  When Broniarczyk gets to the new location, she puts numbers on each of the rooms. As the boxes come off the truck, she reads the label (e.g., daughter’s room, kitchen) and puts a number on the box so the movers place it in the correct room. She also makes sure boxes are labeled “first unload” or “first unpack” so children can get their rooms set up first and have a place for their stuff.  

Make it fun. “It’s very important to have an open mind,” says Broniarczyk. She urges avoiding the mentality of “I don’t want to leave here. I don’t want to move,” because it can result in missing a lot of the benefits of the new place. Instead, look for all the great things or “gems” of the new location. “Every place is going to be different and every place is going to have things that are absolutely wonderful about the new location. It’s important to find those things.” Broniarczyk and her family look at each move as an adventure. “We’ve always made sure that when we go to a new place, we try one new local food we have never had before and they get to choose.” Having this tradition gives each of them something fun to look forward to. She’ll say, “Okay, when we go to Texas, we are going to try something we’ve never had before. We’ve never had brisket. What is that? They’ll find that kind of food and try it.” She says this helps start the acclimation process.  

Other resources for relocating 

Looking for more information about child care at your new installation and other resources to help your family transition? Broniarczyk recommends the following websites for more info: 

http://www.naccrra.org/military-providers/what-programs-are-available (Child Care Programs)  

http://www.militarychild.org/  (Military Child Education Coalition) 

http://apps.militaryonesource.mil/MOS/f?p=123:23:0 (Military Youth on the Move) 

http://www.militaryonesource.mil/ (Military OneSource) - See more at: http://www.salute2spouses.com/articles/blog/staying-stress-free-during-pcs-season#sthash.DLnLXqrD.dpuf

Kids benefit by having a working mother.

That’s the word from Harvard Business School where academics conducted a recent study. They said daughters with working mothers earned 6 percent more than women whose moms never worked outside the home.

Boys benefit too, it said. As grown men they spend an average of 7.5 more hours a week caring for their children and 25 more minutes doing chores.

My first question though, what types of jobs did the moms have?

Are they professional business women who leave the house, looking the part and, while exhausted from working, still have the help they need to pull it altogether? Can they afford childcare? Do the kids have summers full of camp and new clothes and the long awaited vacation, all of which moms’ paycheck makes possible?

Or are they moms who have to work to put basic food on the table? Who run in and out, harried from one to two and even three jobs in hopes that a family member can babysit. Maybe she leaves her children with the oldest sibling even if they may not be quite of age to do so. The money keeps the lights on. It doesn’t pay for vacations or camp.

If I had to guess, I’d say these women in the study were of the second group. Their children have seen the rough life. They’ve seen their mother struggle. They’ve seen the exhaustion. And they are ready to put a stop to it.

And that is a good thing.

I don’t want to see any family struggle. It is heartbreaking. And many of my friends are single moms, with no help from their former spouse or family.

What I love to see is them rising above. They work. Harder than anyone I have ever seen. They go to school with the little money they can scrape up, searching every late night for scholarships on the internet. They volunteer and are always the first to bring food in for class parties even though they are struggling to buy groceries. Heck, they find time to run because they can’t afford to join the local gym.

Their kids see this. They see what is possible. They learn that giving up is not an option.

And even for the kids whose moms seem to pull it all off without ruffling a single hair, watching their mothers work and achieve success as an individual person, and not just as someone’s mom, is a wonderful gift.

The Pew Research Center also recently found that society is not as excited about our individual potential as we are. The group found that 41 percent of American adults say the increase in the number of mothers working outside the home is bad for society.

It is bad to expand our abilities? It is bad to strive to make our lives and that of our family better? It is bad to teach our children that you can achieve a goal and make a difference in your community? 

Is it bad to make the decision that you have to take charge of your household and be the breadwinner, even if that means some sacrifice?

It is not.

Working moms, you got this. And we all benefit from having you working hard every day to make our entire world a better place.

I unabashedly admit that while my husband is deployed, I watch 19 Kids & Counting.

I don’t know what it is.  I wear pants, dated my husband for years before marrying him and have cable TV.  It’s not exactly like I identify with them.

But the sheer management it must take to handle that many children fascinates me, I guess.

And the fact that my husband rolls his eyes at yet another ridiculous reality TV show when he is home means that while he’s gone, it gets to be my guilty pleasure.

I have watched it faithfully when he’s gone and have for years.

And so, when the bottom fell out after the family admitted their eldest son molested minors, including his sisters, I was a little heartbroken.

I had DVR-d that family’s show; I had watched it.  A few low deployment moments I even teared up at what I thought were genuinely sweet moments.

And then, as news stations reported it last week, I felt oddly saddened I had done all that and basically supported a family who would cover up such an act.

I have daughters. The thought of letting them live in a home with someone who abused them makes me shake with anger and sadness. The thought of neglecting help for my troubled son revolts me.

And the thought that I devoted such precious spare time during a deployment to the family who had done such a thing? Well, it was hard to take.

Sexual abuse touches close to home for me.  I have very close friends who have and still struggle as abuse victims.  I think our country is loath to acknowledge what victims suffer through, and I think so often the desire to hide or not talk about abuse hurts victims further and lets abusers get away with it.

I think, in the military, all of these truths about sexual abuse can and have been amplified.

And I think it’s searing to realize we all watched these girls on television who were somewhat coerced into covering up their truth and what we now know was the aftermath of that truth.

I am now ashamed to admit that I watched such a family, even enjoyed it.  I feel like I let down the victims who live in that house and on that show, though they will never know me and my bowl of ice cream and a snuggly blanket replacing my husband while I perched on the couch to see them get married or have a new baby.

I hope they are healing.  I hope this coming to light helps them more than it hurts old wounds.  I hope they know how sorry I am.

And now, I move onto another deployment guilty pleasure. 

And this time, I think I’m done with reality TV for a while.
 

By Tiffany Shedd

Did you know that May was Mental Health Awareness month?

The spotlight was shone on what is often pushed into the dark because of the stigmas attached to this subject. We’ve come a long way from some questionable mental health practices (forced lobotomies, women being put into asylums for postpartum, etc.) but the topic of mental health is still taboo. No one wants anyone to think they’re “crazy”. Sometimes, though, it is harder to try maintain the status quo than to ask for help.

There are a plethora of mental health issues. My family alone gets to deal with several. I suffer from depression. I have never really said that out loud before, but I definitely have a history of depression. I am too afraid to deal with whatever issues may come up if I chose to treat it.

In fact, I exert a lot of effort to just not deal with things. I make up all kinds of excuses about why I don’t just pick up the phone or use one of the many online resources available to me. My son is too loud/asleep/has a class/having a meltdown/needs a drink/etc. My husband is out of town/busy/mowing the grass/etc. I have this and that going on. I don’t have time to go to an appointment.

My problem is not convenient. I think that is probably the biggest hurdle. But, when is dealing with a problem ever convenient? It never is. But, to live the best life you can live, maybe you have to do things that are not convenient sometimes.

My husband is braver than I am, for many reasons. He recently started tackling some issues of his own. He has always had problems with paying attention or he becomes so focused on one thing that he literally can’t do or hear anything else. This is both annoying and sometimes dangerous. He can be so distracted that he will miss small things that can lead to much bigger problems.

For example, he was so focused on leaving for work early one morning and got distracted by something outside that he forgot to close our front door completely. My son and I were upstairs sleeping. I didn’t come downstairs until hours later to discover the door was slightly open and anyone could have come into our home. He has said for years that he probably has ADHD but had never been tested.

At first, he wasn’t tested, because of the stigma of taking certain medications while on active duty. This has changed a lot in the last few years. I suspect that having our son had a lot to do with why he finally took steps to getting a diagnosis.

He was right. ADHD was the diagnosis. He has been taking medication for a couple of months, and I can see some changes in his day to day behavior. I can talk to him while he is doing something, and, he actually hears what I am saying. That is a big, positive change for us.

In addition to ADHD, my husband also suffers from acute anxiety. When we first met, it was mostly just in social situations. He could only focus on one person in a group and would come off as being standoffish.

As he went through several deployments and saw lots of things that no one should probably ever see, he became anxious about everything. He kept it hidden pretty well for a long time. I only really started to see how bad it was when I was pregnant. He was worried about something being wrong with our baby, and it just spiraled from there.

He has dealt with some pretty horrible anxiety for the last three years, and I didn’t even know. This is how taboo mental health issues are: my husband, who tells me literally everything (so I thought) hid his crushing anxiety from me for that long. I felt horrible that I didn’t even notice.

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If we spent as much time working on our mental health as we do our physical selves, we’d probably all be a lot healthier and happier. Don’t worry about what other people think. If you or a family member is suffering from any mental health issue, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are lots of resources available to you, so take advantage of them.

Here is a great place to start: http://www.militaryonesource.mil/

Want to see if you have what it takes to compete at an Ivy League school?

Here's your chance to give it a go, at Yale.

The storied university was founded in 1701 and has produced some of the highest paid alumni in the top jobs on the planet, to include five U.S. presidents, 19 U.S. Supreme Court justices and hundreds of members of Congress, U.S. Diplomats, Novel laureates and Rhodes Scholars.

Tuition, room, board, books and fees last year cost a cool $63,250. Per student.

But, at the school's online program, Open Yale Courses, anyone can sit in on classes, for free.

The site offers dozens of introductory courses taught by the distinguished professors and scholars at Yale. When you log into a course, you will be watching the full lectures, recorded in the Yale classroom.

No registration is required. No fees are paid.

Which means of course, you will receive no credit, degree or certificate for your attendance.

But, what you will gain is access to some of the most gifted academics on the planet and a chance to, "inspire your own critical thinking and creative imagination," says Diana Kleiner, founding director, in a letter to potential students on the page.

There is a wide range of courses offered, to include African American Studies, Astronomy, Ecology and Evolutionary Biology, English, Philosophy, Religious Studies and many more.

Each online course includes a full set of class lectures, syllabi, suggested reading lists, exams and problem sets.

Roughly 1,300 of the 30,000 applicants receive a coveted slot in the school's freshman class each fall.

Who knows. Perhaps after you spend time learning and expanding your mind on Open Yale Courses, you will be inspired to work for one of those freshman slots.

Were you caught off-guard when you carefully documented every expense and deduction on your tax return, only to find out that you owed the government money?

Now is the perfect time to recalculate, reassess and regroup to try and avoid any surprises the next time April 15 rolls around.

Things the average taxpayer might not think of, like self-employment income or the profit from selling personal property, are what often lead to owing taxes.

“The ones that have out of the ordinary items that cause them to owe are the ones that get caught off guard,” said Kathryn Morgan, a tax specialist and Air Force retiree in Louisiana.

Statistics from the Internal Revenue Service show that about 75 percent of taxpayers got a refund in 2014. But for the remaining 25 percent that find themselves having to pay, tax experts have several tips:

- Keep track of all “extra” income throughout the year and pay taxes as you go, if necessary. Morgan said one of the biggest reasons military members find themselves owing money is that they have a self-employed spouse who did not pay taxes on income. Payments can be submitted quarterly to the IRS.

- Unexpected tax payments may also come up in relation to selling a house or inheriting money, according to Morgan. Generally, any income throughout the year not included on your Leave and Earnings statement or pay stub could be taxable come filing time.

- The online tax-filing system Turbo Tax recommends that taxpayers check their withholding frequently to see if they are paying too little – or too much. Life changes such as marriage, divorce or having a baby all affect how much taxes should be withheld from each paycheck. The more dependents you claim, for example, the less will be withheld, and vice versa.

Some people actually use their withholding as a savings account, Morgan said, purposely claiming less exemptions and paying in too much so that they will be almost guaranteed a hefty refund. Financial advisers often recommend against this, instead advising families to put money in their own savings accounts each month where it will earn interest. They also point out that this makes each monthly paycheck smaller.

But there’s something to be said for a “surprise” refund every year.

“People need to have a realistic expectation of what they can live with,” Morgan said. “Many people use larger withholding as a forced savings account they can only tap once a year, and if they know themselves well enough to know they need that, it works.” 

Morgan said the best advice is setting clear goals for yourself when it comes to taxes and income.

“The trick to this is knowing what you want at the outset,” Morgan said. “Withholding works like a see-saw. One end is your paycheck and the other is your tax return. Some folks want that see-saw to be level, some want the tax return side to go up and some want the paycheck to go up … Unfortunately the see-saw doesn't bend in the middle.”

Need help?

- Financial advisers and tax consultants can explain your situation and help devise a year-round plan for managing your income and taxes. Many offer military discounts, too.

- The Internal Revenue Service has an extensive website detailing everything you ever wanted to know about taxes. Get started at www.irs.gov.

- The IRS has a detailed withholding calculator. http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/IRS-Withholding-Calculator

- Online banks, financial advisers and tax services also have several calculators, including this one at bankrate.com that helps estimate self- employment taxes.

http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/tax-planning/self-employed-business-tax-calculator.aspx

The hits just keep on coming.

Congress will vote this summer on whether married military couples should continue to be paid two BAH payments each month.

Stars & Stripes reported that the Senate Armed Services Committee has drafted the 2016 defense authorization bill to present to Congress this summer. In it, the committee suggests cutting BAH for married military members.

Currently, married members both receive BAH. The more senior ranking member receives
BAH with dependents (if the couple has children) while the other spouse is paid BAH at the without dependents rate.

The new bill suggests that only the higher ranking service member be paid BAH. And the other, nothing.

Couples assigned to different geographic locations, outside of reasonable commuting distances, would continue to receive dual BAH to pay for the two residences.

On social media, the masses have split into two very different camps. On one side are civilian spouses who say they see the extra BAH as a windfall for those families; an extra $1,000 a month to do whatever they want with.

On the other, are military spouses who say the extra money is used to cover the cost of having two military members in the household. They pay extra child care for extended duty hours, they pay extra helpers to pitch in when both are deployed. The extra money is necessary to help them do their job.

But if Congress wins, everyone will be feeling the changes. The bill essentially puts an end to unmarried military roommates too.

The bill requires E-4 servicemembers and above, who live together, to have their BAH payment capped at 75 percent.

These cuts are in addition to those requested by President Obama to slow BAH spending in the coming years. Currently the DOD spends over $1 billion annually to house its military and their families.

Obama has suggested that BAH pay be decreased over the coming years until military members are paying 5 percent of rent and utility costs out of pocket.

We have been told the cuts are coming. We have been told the spending will stop. We are officially at the beginning of that moment.

Programs have been slashed. Commissary prices may be rising and hours falling. Your quarters will no longer be a free perk of the job.

It may be time to take a very serious look at your household's spending habits and align them with the cuts Congress wants to make. None of us want these changes, but if they become law, none of us want to be caught with empty pockets, unable to pay for our homes and electricity.

Change is coming. Don't be caught unprepared.

Read Stars & Stripes full story here: http://www.stripes.com/opinion/dual-service-couples-may-see-housing-allowance-cut-under-senate-plan-1.349209

Military spouses come in all shapes, sizes and genders.

And we want to hear from the men!

We know that strong women in uniform are often backed by a supportive spouse too who handles all the household duties, kids and emergencies that arise.

We also know that sometimes, those men wear the uniforms themselves – meaning both spouses are always busy, all the time.

We have lots of blogs from our women military spouses, now, we want to give the men a chance to speak. If you think you are interested in blogging for Salute to Spouses about your life as a military husband, please contact editor Allison Marlow at adperkins@bryantstratton.edu

We are waiting to hear from you!