After National Guard veteran Lisa Dunster returned from her deployment to the Gulf War in 1999, she was angry — about her experiences in war, some of the things she saw and some of the things she had to do.

She was welcomed home by her civilian community. They were grateful for her service, but they had no concept of what she had endured.

Active-duty families living on base have access to hundreds of programs to help with the process of deploying, redeploying and re-integration. Reserve and Guard families, however, often live far from their assigned unit in towns that have no understanding of the pressures of wartime duty.

“I almost felt like there was an unwritten rule that we just didn’t talk about it afterward,” Dunster said. “It’s like the people around me just didn’t get it.”

Eventually, Dunster settled back into the civilian world, became an English teacher and started her family.

When thousands of National Guard and Reserve troops began deploying to Iraq and Afghanistan after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, Dunster knew she couldn’t let those families suffer the same lack of support she had.

She told her husband, “We’ve got to do something.”

It was then that her idea for the Compass Retreat Center began to take shape.

“The military does a good job with workshops for marriage or camps for kids, but I felt a piece was missing ... looking at the family as a whole,” Dunster said.

The first session of Compass Retreat Center’s camp was held in 2009 in Seymour, Ind. Six families participated in traditional outdoor activities such as ropes courses and kayaking to help them learn to depend on each other in ways they may never have before.

Families also attended counseling sessions and therapeutic activities.

Dunster’s mission is to get families out of their comfort zones and give them a neutral space to reconnect. She felt a mixture of the fun and physical, as well as talk time, was important for healing after deployment.

Partnering with existing camp facilities in the Midwest, Compass Retreat has since had two more sessions, each one doubling the number of families who attended. The volunteer staff includes a family therapist and a social worker.

During camp, families are given time to spend together and alone. The sessions schedule out the day with kid time, couple time and then family time.

Amy Allen, a former Guard soldier and Iraq veteran, attended Compass Retreat with her family and loved it.

Although the outdoor activities were fun, the idea of having a safe place to discuss the deployment was even more important.

“The high ropes activity was a real screamer,” Allen said. “But it was so great being around other people who truly understand what our entire family had been through, due to the deployments.”

Compass Retreat Center has many plans for future expansion, such as building a permanent facility of its own. But that’s just the beginning. Dunster hopes to open programs for military families across the country.

“We feel these camps are needed across the nation,” Dunster said.

For now, facilities in Ohio and Indiana are helping families heal, look at themselves differently and become whole again. And, according to the families who attend, it’s well worth the time.

Learn more about the program at www.compassretreatcenter.org

The number of service members seriously injured in Iraq and Afghanistan climbs every day. With that count the number of military spouses who suddenly find themselves in the role of caregiver, single parent and primary breadwinner for the household also rises. There is often too much for one person to handle alone. For a spouse who also has to attend school or re-enter the workforce, the days can be overwhelming. 

This month the VA announced new programs to help spouses and other caregivers receive the help they need. Eligible caregivers can receive a stipend, mental health services for themselves, health care insurance, in-home health aide services, respite care, transportation to and from appointments and training.

Find the application online at www.caregiver.va.gov. You can also visit a caregiver support coordinator at every VA medical center or call 1-877-222 VETS (8387) for help with the application process.

If the recent close call of a government shutdown didn’t scare you away from applying for a federal job and neither does the current hiring freeze, then now is as good a time as any to prepare yourself for the search. Just follow these seven easy steps to avoid being overwhelmed in the process.

1.    Establish USAJOBS as your “home base” for the job search. Almost nothing is worse than being all over the internet to conduct a job search. Here, you can find vacancy announcements, apply for jobs and track your status all in the same place – online – and accessible from anywhere. And for people like us who move around at a moment’s notice, it’s one less thing we’ll have to worry about while in transition.

2.    Create and store up to five different resumes. You can build new resumes by inputting your work experience, education, contact information, etc. into a web-based form on the site and you can upload resumes you already created elsewhere. We all have multiple skill sets and professional interests, so this might be a good time to try something new without having to do a lot of extra work to find it.

3.    Upload five supporting documents. These might include transcripts, certificates or other supplemental forms. Your documents will always be available to be attached to your resume when applying for a job.

4.    Search for job announcements. Use location, occupations, agencies, keywords, salary and other terms to identify potential vacancies and to refine the results when far too many of them come up in your search.

5.    Set up a job search agent. Once you have determined the perfect set of criteria to narrow down jobs for you, save that search using the job agent function. The job agent allows you to use the same search criteria without re-entering it each time you log onto the site. An added bonus: you can also set up email notifications to be alerted when a new job has been posted that meets your search criteria. Are you feeling relieved yet?

6.    Check your status regularly.  You can log back onto USAJOBS any time of day or night to find out the status of your application for each job to which you apply. You’ll know if your resume has been received, whether you meet minimum requirements, whether you have been referred for an interview, etc. And you won’t have to wait for an email reply or be put on hold indefinitely when you call.

7.    Finally, email a friend. Anytime you see a job for which a friend might like to apply, you can email the entire announcement right to him or her. What better way to build your job search networking contacts? And who knows, you might get the same in return.

Here’s to landing the federal job of your dreams!

Do you have a specific question about the current job market, military friendly industries, or anything career related? Let us help you find the answers. Email Pamela at pamela@salutetospouses.com . Please explain what information you are searching for and we will post the answers in this column. 

I just returned from actively participating in Storm the Hill 2011: (www.stormthehill.org) which is sponsored by IAVA, a non-profit and non-partisan organization dedicated to improving the lives of today’s veterans, as part of an advocacy team focused on veterans’ employment issues. In 2010, the unemployment rate for veterans was 11.6 percent, compared to the national average of 9.7 percent.  

The event discussed IAVA’s 2011 Policy Agenda, which addressed the most urgent challenges facing Iraq and Afghanistan veterans and their families. IAVA annually surveys 90,000 Member Veterans and drafted the priorities from the survey results as well as in coordination with partner Veterans Service Organizations and community-based nonprofits nationwide.

As an Iraq war veteran, I feel fortunate to have participated in this great event to increase awareness with our nation’s leaders about the unemployment challenges facing Iraq and Afghanistan veterans.  Times are tough for everyone, but veterans are more likely to be unemployed than Americans as a whole. Education and employment opportunities are essential for today’s veterans to be the next ‘Greatest Generation.’ Unfortunately veteran unemployment has been above the national average for a couple of years. If this trending in the unemployment rate continues, we will fall behind our peers and the leadership and management abilities gained by those who served our country won’t be maximized in order to take America out of our current financial crisis.   

Ed participated in the 2011 Storm the Hill as an individual veteran, not as a representative of the College. He was part of a select group chosen from hundreds of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans across the country that applied to participate in Storm the Hill 2011. The group was made up of individuals with a diverse array of military service and personal experience who offered lawmakers a unique understanding of the issues facing the veterans’ community. Bryant & Stratton College Online is proud of his dedication to the veterans’ community as well as active-duty and military students.

Would your life story make millions of viewers cry?

Have you lead a life of extraordinary service? Is your house falling down around you? Do you know someone who deserves a major home makeover?

Nominate them for the ABC show, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” Producers are currently searching for deserving military families.

A press release from the team said producers are looking for people with "amazing strength of character and who put their own needs aside to help others." Eligible families must own their own single family home and be able to show how the makeover would change their lives.

Interested military families or people who wish to nominate a military family should e-mail a short description of the family's story to emheusa@emhe.tv. The e-mail should include the names and ages of household members, a description of the family's challenges, an explanation of why the family is deserving of a makeover or is a positive role model in the community, photos of the family and their home, and contact numbers.

The deadline for nominations is May 30, but people should send submissions early, the release said. Only up to 25 families are selected each season.

For more information on the application process, visit http://abc.go.com/primetime/xtremehome/index?pn=apply.

When it comes to scholarships, military families have a few more benefits than civilians. Several veterans’ organizations offer funding specifically to the children and spouses of military members.

Check out the following scholarships and apply before the deadline.

Marine Corps League:

Applicants must be enrolled as a full-time student at either a four-year school or technical program. Spouses and children, including those of Marines killed in action are eligible. As an added bonus, recipients can renew their scholarships for subsequent years. Applications due July 1. http://www.mcleague.com

American Legion:

The American Legion is the nation’s largest veterans’ service organization. As such, the group offers a large amount of financial aid to veterans and their families. While many of the awards focus on military children, such as the National High School Oratorical Contest and the Eagle Scout of the Year scholarship, spouses can apply for the Eight and Forty Lung and Respiratory Disease Nursing Scholarship. The program is intended to help registered nurses further their education to take on positions as supervisors, administrators and teachers. Scholarships are $3,000 each. Applications are due May 15, 2011. http://www.legion.org/scholarships

Marine Corps Scholarship Foundation:

Spouses and children of Marines are awarded money from this foundation every year. Applicants must have a GPA of 2.0 or higher and meet income requirements. Money is also available to families of Marines who have died in combat since the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. http://www.mcsf.org

Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society:

The society offers both scholarships and no-interest loans for full-time undergraduate students, including family members. http://www.nmcrs.org/education.html

Military spouses may also find money for school closer to home. Many local, on-post spouse clubs offer their own scholarship programs. As spring marches to a close, so do the application deadlines for most annual scholarship drives. Get your application in now. When it comes to paying for college, every dollar helps!

Ann Marie is a proud Marine wife and mother to her five month old son, Connor. She currently resides in California with her family.  Below she shares some of her experiences as a military spouse as well as advice to others new to the military lifestyle.

How long have you been married and how did you meet your spouse? Do you have children? If so, what ages? Tell us about your journey through military life.

AM: I have been married to my husband, Matthew, for 4 years. We had our first child, Connor, 5 months ago during Matthew's most recent deployment to Afghanistan. I met my husband during our sophomore year in college, 9 years ago and our journey through military life began shortly after we graduated. I had no experience with military life and had no idea what to expect. My first taste of the Marine Corps was saying goodbye to my new husband for 10 weeks, only communicating through letters and if we were lucky a visit for a few hours on the weekend. After that period, more schools and separations, a move across country, and even more schools and training followed. I quickly learned that deployments were not the only time my Marine would be away. We make the most of our time together, no matter how much or how little we get. That experience has strengthened our marriage in many positive ways, mostly by giving us different ways to communicate and focusing on the quality of our time together rather than the quantity. But moving is never fun, especially when you move 5 times in 4 years; however, we make the most of these challenges by looking at the positive opportunities military life gives us – the  chance to see new places and meet new people. We aren't sure how long we will get these opportunities so we do our best to embrace them. And if all else fails, we know each move is only temporary and we can always start over at the next duty station.

What’s the most rewarding (or your favorite) aspect of being a military wife? What is a challenge of being a military spouse?

AM:The most rewarding aspect of being a military wife is being able to help other spouses. Whether it’s comforting a spouse during her first deployment or helping a spouse by watching her children when she has to have surgery and her husband is in the field, there is always a chance to "pay it forward." Being away from family is one of the most difficult aspects of military life, but there is always another spouse who understands what you are going through and offering a helping hand. Friendships form quickly and you begin to rely on one another like family. You are never alone.

What has been your proudest moment as a military spouse?

AM:My proudest moment as a military spouse was when I welcomed my husband home during his last deployment to Afghanistan. Because our son was born while my husband was deployed, he was fortunate enough to come home a couple weeks earlier than the rest of his Marines. We decided we would welcome his Marines home together as a family. My proudest moment as a military wife was watching my husband's face when his Marines walked in formation on the day they returned safely from Afghanistan. The look in his eye said it all, he was proud to have led them in war and even prouder to be able to bring them all safely home to their families. I began to understand exactly why my husband became a Marine. It’s taking care of the brothers he has made along the way.

Tell us a little bit about your work life. If you are currently not working, please specify. For example, if you are a stay at home parent, describe that.

AM:Currently, I am a stay at home mom. I never thought I would be satisfied staying home but that quickly changed when my son was born. Deployments have forced me to face the reality that my loved ones can be taken from me at any second. I cherish the time I have with my family more than anything and being able to care for my son and my husband fulfills me more then I imagined. I would love to return to school one day and continue my education, but being a military wife is a full-time job. Whether it’s picking up his uniform at the dry cleaners or running to 10 different stores to find a specific canned soup for his care packages, my days are filled with more than just spit up and watching soap operas. My husband comes home at a different time each night; sometimes he leaves for a couple days and other times a couple months. I treasure the time we have together and make him a priority when he is home. In the past I have struggled with finding an employer who was flexible with this lifestyle. I want to be able to be home when my husband has a long weekend off or a special family event planned by his unit. It is very difficult to find a career that has a flexible schedule.

What plans do you have for the future? What kind of support does a military spouse need to accomplish his or her goals?

AM: One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a military spouse is that planning for the future is very difficult. You learn to be very flexible because sometimes you just have no control. The support a military spouse needs to accomplish their own personal goals would be a network of other military spouses. Whether it is face-to-face contact or just online resources, military spouses can offer each other first-hand experience and support in anything from education to employment to crock-pot recipes.

Do you have any tips for making friends or finding a support network after each move? What is something that people can do for military spouses within their community?

AM:Online social networks like Facebook have made it very easy for me to keep in touch with other spouses I have met along the way and also helped me meet new friends during each move. I think one of the biggest things people can do for the military in general is to just show their support. Whether it’s hanging an American flag outside your home or shaking a service member’s hand who is dressed in uniform, small gestures like those make the sacrifice and service worth it.

What is one thing about life as a military spouse you wish people knew about?

AM:Even when we act like we have it all together, sometimes we don't. Night time and the weekends are incredibly lonely when your spouse is away. My suggestion for anyone who has a friend that is a military spouse is to make a date with them, don't ask. Just do it. (Even if it's a weekly phone call.) Small gestures go a long way.

What piece of advice would you give to someone who is about to marry a military service member? What’s the best advice you were given?

AM:My advice is to be flexible. Your experience as a military spouse will be what you make it!!

Each month we will spotlight a new spouse. If you would like to have your story featured in “Spouse Spotlight” please click here

Is your military spouse preparing to leave the rank behind and join the civilian job force? My husband only has a handful of years left until that transition to retirement and I am dreading it. I’m unsure of how our benefits might change, namely medical coverage. I fear losing that steady paycheck. And let’s be honest, tax free combat pay covered a lot of bills.

If your husband is anything like mine, he probably hasn’t brought much information home from his pre-retirement briefings, or even began looking seriously at some of the issues. I, on the other hand, need info!  

The Department of Defense launched a web site specifically to help your family make the transition: www.turbotap.org. The website is billed as a resource for military members entering the civilian job force. However, as a spouse without a military record of my own, I found the site just as helpful.

Sure there’s military-geared career advice but there’s also a treasure trove of information regarding benefits, disability compensation, insurance and VA home loans. There are checklists of items that need done before retirement day and after.

And just as my husband’s last day in uniform is approaching, I’m certain I will probably be bringing most of these important items to his attention, rather than the opposite. This is going to be a good site to keep handy.

For the first time ever, service members may transfer their unused GI Bill benefits to their family members. Though there are very specific eligibility requirements, the actual transfer process is easy.

Army wife Lynda Hilliard, of Fort Bragg, N.C., said she completed the process online in about 30 seconds.

“It was really easy,” she said.

Hilliard’s husband will retire in less than three years and she said she wanted to finish the transfer before they became embroiled in retirement planning and inadvertently forget to transfer the credit. One of the criteria for transferring benefits is that it must be done before the service member retires.

To determine if your dependents are eligible to receive transferred benefits, go to https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/TEB/consent?continueToUrl=%2FTEB%2F. Only service members can access this website.

For complete details about eligibility and more links to begin the process, please visit http://www.gibill.va.gov/post-911/post-911-gi-bill-summary/transfer-of-benefits.html

Do you have a specific question about current events, education benefits, spouse careers, online education or anything military related? Let us help you find the answers. Email Allison at allison@salutetospouses.com . Please explain what information you are searching for and we will ask our experts and post the answers in this column.  

Kimberly Joyner is a student at Bryant & Stratton College Online and a Salute to Spouses scholarship recipient. She is back in school to pursue a degree in business to better her family and to be a positive role model for her daughter. Kimberly has been the wife of a Marine for four years and currently resides in North Carolina with her husband and daughter.

Tell us about your family and journey through military life.

KJ: My husband and I met our senior year in high school. He went off to boot camp two days after graduation. A week after he got home, we were married and have been for almost four years. We have a two year old daughter together. It has been tough with all the moving but it has definitely been worth it.

What is the best thing about being a military spouse?

KJ: Since we move around a lot, my favorite part about being a military wife is traveling and meeting new people, although it can also be a source of heartache at the same time.

What has been your proudest moment as a military spouse?

KJ: My proudest moment so far is my ability to handle deployments a lot better than I did when he first joined. Deployments were my biggest challenge so it is nice to know that I can handle myself to show my husband that I support him and will be waiting on him to get home.

What motivated you to continue your education?

KJ: I decided to go back to school after taking two years off because I want to help support my family and be a great role model for my family.

Tell us a little bit about your work life.

KJ: I am a stay-at-home mother while I am going to school so I can focus on my studies.

What plans do you have for the future? What kind of support does a military spouse need to accomplish his or her goals?

KJ: I'm not sure exactly where I want my career to go but I do know that I will need help and understanding from the community. Since we move often, it may be challenging for me to find a job because I cannot promise them I will be there for a long period of time.

What piece of advice would you give to someone who is about to marry a military service member?

KJ: Always look forward. When a deployment is coming, do not focus on the time he will be gone, but focus on all the fun and exciting things you two will do when he gets back.

Each month we will spotlight a new spouse. If you would like to have your story featured in “Spouse Spotlight” please click here