You may still be working on your Halloween costume, but you need to also make time to register for an upcoming job fair.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce hosts hiring fairs around the nation every month that are only for military spouses. The employers there want military spouses. They appreciate the skills and dedication we bring to our careers.

And for that reason, these events are very popular. And, you have to register well in advance. Most of the hiring fairs do not allow walk-in attendees, and once they hit their registration maximum, the doors are shut until they roll into town next time.

Don’t be left out! Register for an upcoming hiring fair today!

Find the list of events for November below or find all hiring fairs through 2016 at http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/hiring-our-heroes

Nov. 3

Des Moines, Iowa

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/des-moines-hiring-fair-0

Nov. 5

Chicago, IL

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/chicago-hiring-expo-united-center

Nov. 7

Flint, MI

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/flint-hiring-fair

Nov. 11

Uncasville, CT

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/vets-rock-hiring-fair-mohegan-sun

Nov. 12

Washington D.C.

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/joint-base-anacostia-bolling-hiring-fair-0

Nov. 17

Huntsville, AL

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/huntsville-hiring-fair

Virtual Job Fair

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/virtual-job-fair-8

Dec. 3

Virtual Job Fair

http://www.uschamberfoundation.org/event/virtual-job-fair-9

Remember we had that talk about crappy books? About how a bad textbook required for an already difficult class sets us up for failure?

Well, when we are dealt a hand like that, we have two options. We can either allow our butts to get kicked and suffer a GPA drop (assuming we get a C), or we can quit whining and find better sources.

So, how can we find better sources?

Assuming the book isn't so bad that its information could be better explained by the shouting of a drunk, crazy man living under a Central Park bridge, the text should provide three valuable things:

1. A list of learning objectives at the beginning of each chapter,
2. A set of vocabulary words and/or equations for that chapter, and
3. A review at the end of each chapter.

These things are gold. Do you hear me? They are SOLID GOLD. And what you do with these solid gold nuggets of help is pretty simple. 

First, get all that info for the chapter in one place. Use a word document, take notes, make copies. Do whatever will help root the ideas into your brain. Once you’ve done that, take those learning objectives and read over them.

Next, compare that list of learning objectives to the vocabulary words and equations and whatever else is listed in the margins as small notes or ideas, because they will most likely match up relatively easily. If they don’t, don’t panic. You’ll find where they belong (or you’ll end up not using them, because, well … the book sucks and that’s why we’re in this mess to begin with).

Now that you have the key concepts for the chapter and the buzzwords from the margins, you can plug the area from each section of the chapter into the search engine of your choice.

My main teaching man is Sal Kahn, of www.kahnacademy.org, because he teaches things in a conversational manner and uses nifty graphs and colors and explains things in a way that doesn’t make me want to shut the computer off (as much). The videos tend to go in sequence, so the concepts from the chapter will likely line up with your chapter. Use the videos, take notes, and use whatever other results the Google machine has rendered if you need further explanation.

After all of that, take your notes from the series of Internet tubes and compare them to the learning objectives from the chapter and make sure that there aren’t any gaps in what you’ve learned and what is required to learn. If there are any missing concepts, plug what’s missing into the search engine and repeat the above step.  

If there aren’t any gaps, it’s time for the end-of-chapter review. Try and answer a few problems, and see how it works out. If your book doesn’t have an answer key (like my Microeconomics book, which is what prompted this two-part blog in the first place) then type the question into the search engine again. You’ll likely find a response that will tell you the answer of the question. If your book does have an answer key (which it should, because we’re all adults here) you can just check your work. If you got it wrong, either try it again or use the answer provided to work backward to see where you got off track.

Now, you know how to face the questions that should be explained by your horrible, evil good textbook!      

And knowing is half the battle.

We are on a mini-vacation this week, headed to a friend’s wedding in Arkansas.

I took the entire week off from my job to prepare, pack, clean out the car and get us on the road for the 10-hour journey.

On Monday, I set off to check each item on my list, and was sucked back into work - answering phone calls, emails and “urgent” text messages from my office that really could have waited. By the time I finished with my non-work day, it was dinner time and I hadn’t prepared a thing for our trip.

On Tuesday, I woke up determined to tune out my office and tune in to my family. By noon, I was finally able to turn off my computer, though the text messages kept rolling in. And when I tried to ignore them, the text buzz turned to phone calls.

And on Wednesday, the day we were scheduled to leave as soon as school let out, I had three days’ worth of tasks left to complete. And, I was exhausted. We postponed our departure and my husband and I worked through the night to wash clothes, dishes, pack the car, prep the dogs and re-schedule hotel reservations.

I had let my job win. Now, sure, there are times when you can’t put your work aside. Even when you are scheduled to be out for the day, you really need to answer that email or place that phone call. This, however, was not one of those times. I let my co-workers pull me back in. They didn’t feel like waiting and they knew I would cave.

So, on Thursday, I turned off the computer. And I didn’t even pack it. Did you hear that? I didn’t bring my laptop. Gasp, the horror. I know. And, I turned off my phone. Off, completely - didn’t even use it to take photos. I carried an actual camera.

It. Felt. Awesome.

We spent the entire day talking to our kids, well, yelling at our kids really and telling them no, we are not there yet, but I didn’t speak with a co-worker for the entire day. The entire day!

I didn’t check my email. I didn’t wonder who needed what. I just let it go.

And to be a productive employee, when you take those vacation days, you actually need to go on vacation – and turn off the phone. And the text. And the email.

You need to allow yourself to take a break. To walk away. To spend time with your family that isn’t peppered by you answering texts and emails on your phone. There is a time to be an employee and a time to be a mom and a wife.

It took me three days to realize I was using my vacation hours to hang out with my job. Make sure you use your vacation hours to leave the job behind.

By Christine Cioppa

Irritable lately? If you’re not “h-angry” (anger caused by hunger) or premenstrual and dealing with hormonal fluctuations, you might want to look at how you are managing your stress levels.

More than a third of people get irritable and angry when stressed, according to a recent report, “Stress in America: Paying with Our Health,” which was released earlier this year from the American Psychological Association. Of the more than 3,000 adults polled, six symptoms dominated in times of stress: irritability/anger, nervousness/anxiousness, lack of interest/ motivation, fatigue, feeling overwhelmed and depression/sadness.

“When you are not managing stress, it actually has an impact on productivity,” says C. Vaile Wright, Ph.D., director of research at the American Psychological Association. “We don’t get our tasks done as time efficiently or as completely as we might when we are in places where we are feeling more balanced and more in control of ourselves.”

Additionally, being chronically stressed out can have negative health consequences. “Stress can have an effect on your blood pressure, heart, weight and hormones. Stress can really impact every part of you,” says Dr. Wright.

For busy moms who are going back to school, she suggests delegating tasks and asking for help from family members or a partner/spouse. It’s also important to schedule “you time” on your to-do list. “Taking some time for yourself to recharge is not selfish,” says Dr. Wright. “Find ways to carve out that time for yourself. Maybe that means you wake up 15 minutes earlier. That may not seem like a lot. But, if you start getting these habits into your daily life pattern, then it can make a big difference over time.”

CHECKLIST FOR MANAGING STRESS

Feeling frazzled? Print out this weekly checklist (http://www.helpguide.org/misc/stress-management-checklist.pdf) from HelpGuide.org, a non-profit organization for mental health and well-being. Do any/all of these nine things daily and weekly and see what difference it makes.

Are you a student? And a mom. And a wife. And a daughter. And an employee. And a volunteer. And, well, simply exhausted?

Far too often we put everyone and everything else first in our lives. We put even our simplest needs on the backburner: sleep, enough water, enough veggies, enough exercise.

We have a new blog for you that is going to help put you first.

We want to welcome blogger Christine Cioppa. Christine is a long-time health columnist and now works as a stay-at-home mom and wife who is balancing family and freelance writing.

She will report on health issues for Salute to Spouses and focus on how working moms who are heading back to school can stay healthy and happy through the entire year.

Christine's Blog, Be Healthy, can be found on our page every Thursday morning.

Check in with her, take a deep breath and learn what small changes you can make to ease those hectic, stress-filled days and make your health a priority. Every Thursday our focus is you!

By Tiffany Shedd

I love Halloween. My son is turning three soon, and he’s excited about being a Minion. Luckily, his epilepsy isn’t triggered by flashing lights or external stimuli, so we can enjoy many different types of Halloween and fall festival activities.

Halloween is usually a fun time for most kids. But if your child is on the spectrum or has other special needs, it may not be a fun experience for many reasons.

I am so lucky to have a local group of mommies who are sensitive to the needs of all of the kids in our mom’s group, and that includes kids on the spectrum, kids with severe allergies and kids with other special needs.

We put together our own Trunk or Treat the weekend before Halloween during the day. We encourage the kids to dress up in non-scary outfits. We have a large range of ages in our group, so scary costumes aren’t always age appropriate, and they may be upsetting to some of our special needs members.

Parents are also encouraged to decorate their cars as well. We had lots of fun themes last year, one family dressed up as The Avengers and their car was decorated with all sorts of Avengers things. Another precaution we take is asking parents to provide candy that is nut free. I even got candy that was dairy free last year, because one of the little girls couldn’t have dairy.

This year, I have stickers and erasers that I will be giving out along with my candy. This is a fun way for kids who might not be able to participate in traditional trick or treating to join in the festivities. And, it is an easy event to plan. Gather your mom’s group, church group, military spouse club group and make a plan. It’s minimal set up and cost, and, the kids love it.

I am also thankful for activities in my community. Our installation’s health clinic put on an amazing event last year for all the kids. It wasn’t specifically billed as an event for kids with special needs, but they did take some extra precautions to make sure that all the kids enjoyed themselves. They kept the scary stuff separated from the other things, lights were kept on and no loud music was allowed. The kids got to play games, have snacks, and even make a craft.

If you aren’t a part of an EFMP support group on your installation or in your community, look to the library for ideas about where to find other Fall and Halloween activities. Our local library has started having several themed sensory story times a month. In October they will be reading about Fall and Halloween. It doesn’t matter if your kids won’t sit still and listen to the story, this story time is specifically designed for those kids who may not be able to do that for thirty minutes and that’s ok. No one is going to mind your kid being loud or interrupting the story.

AMC and Regal Theaters are both continuing their Sensory Showtime programs into the fall. These showtimes are for families who don’t feel like they can take their kids or family members to regular movie showings. Both theaters play the movie with the lights on and with the volume reduced. And if your kid or family member needs to get up and dance, sing or holler during the showing, everyone there is going to understand. There will be no shushing there.

If outings are just too much, then check out Pinterest. There are tons of neat ideas for crafts and treats that will make any child happy. If your kid is into art, create a sticky wall where they can put fall shapes on a piece of contact paper you’ve stuck to the wall. Draw a pumpkin on the contact paper, and they can create their own Jack-o-lanterns. Picking out your own real pumpkins and decorating them is also a fun activity for the family. You don’t have to carve them, you can paint them instead (they actually last a lot longer than carved pumpkins).

Letting our kids feel included is so important, so coming up with ways to let them experience some of the Halloween season activities is equally important. Figure out what your child or family member might like about the season and do that. Create your own traditions, and you will always have something fun to do even if it may not be what everyone else is doing.

Drafters of the military budget have put military families squarely in the crosshairs. Now, they may do the same to veterans.

A cornerstone of the proposal to slim the military budget is the notion that military families should be paying more out of pocket expenses – everywhere. Housing costs will rise, long-time, all-inclusive fees such as monthly electric and water bills are now paid separately by military families. Commissary benefits are on the chopping block as is free medical care for military families who stay within the Tricare system.

This week an independent auditor told members of Congress that the Department of Veterans Affairs should scale back costs as well, by treating veterans only for specialized care, and sending everyone else to civilian providers.

The Stars and Stripes reports that the agency has commissioned 137 individual studies over the years to find ways to fix the agency. The latest report cost $68 million and outlined the changes that the VA should make in 4,000 pages.

None of this is a surprise. The Stars and Stripes also reports that on average, of the 5.8 million veterans who are VA patients, those individuals receive less than 50 percent of their care from the VA.

Our family has seen this trend among our veteran friends.

My husband cannot get an appointment. His friends cannot get appointments. They are sent to nearby civilian doctors and hospitals instead. For my husband’s most recent spinal surgery, there was not a VA facility within 500 miles that had the capability to do it. He was sent to a civilian instead.

Is sending veterans to civilian providers a good idea? As the spouse of an injured soldier, I say yes. Since he has been allowed to go to a civilian his care has been better and delivered faster.

However, I worry about the red tape that will come with this change. We have received bills from these civilian providers. Bills that are supposed to be paid by the VA. The VA has dragged their feet on handling the paperwork, even though we have repeatedly called and begged them to make arrangements with the hospital.

The bills have been reported to our credit bureaus. So now, the VA has created a credit problem for the veteran they were supposed to help.

What happens when doctors and hospitals begin to refuse to take VA patients because of the inability of the VA to process paperwork and payments? Tricare families already face this issue. We have been told more than once by a civilian doctor that they refuse Tricare because they simply never see the payment.

At that point, veterans will be left without care on the outside, or inside the VA. What do they do then?

The overhauling of the VA system is a process veterans and their spouses need to watch carefully. As leaders there try to walk a fine line between providing the best care and balancing an out of control budget, veterans may be the ones to suffer.

By Jan Childs

My son will turn 14 in a few weeks. He was born at the 121^st Military Hospital at Yongsan Garrison in Seoul, South Korea.

The staff was a mix of Americans and Koreans, and on that particular night – Oct. 10, 2001 – there were two Korean nurses on duty in the OB unit.

A note before we go further: Please keep reading. I am not going to bore you or gross you out with the details of my “birth story.” Those who have been through it know what it’s like. Those who haven’t shall remain blissfully unaware of the trauma and complete disgustingness that is childbirth.

He was born quickly, but not after some minor drama. At one point the nurses couldn’t hear his heartbeat any more and, in an attempt to shift him around they told me to change positions.

More specifically, they told me to “be a turtle.”

A turtle?

Having never birthed a child before and being more than a little freaked out, I tried my best to follow their instructions. I rolled on my side and curled up in a little ball, my hands and feet tucked inside what I imagined was my shell.

Nope. “Be a turtle! Be a turtle!”

I rolled as far as I could onto my stomach and tried to get in the same curled up position.

Still not right.

I flopped onto my back again, this time with my arms and legs curled on top of myself.

Exasperated, one of the nurses got down on the floor to demonstrate while the other jostled me around. The nurse on the floor was on all fours.

A dog. They wanted me to be a dog.

They probably had a good time later talking to each other about the crazy American lady who didn’t know what a turtle was.

That night was the beginning of a few mishaps we’d have with a newborn baby in a foreign country.

We didn’t realize, for example, that his eyes had to be open for his passport photo. He was less than a month old. What do little babies do? Sleep. A lot. It took quite awhile to get that photo just right.

Eight months later, when we were getting ready to PCS out of Korea, we realized we were missing a vital piece of paperwork. We had never gotten our son the required visa that allowed him to legally be in the country. They would not let us leave without it.

The application process was at an office of the U.S. embassy and we were told it was pretty straightforward. After taking the train there, then waiting in line for over an hour, we handed the clerk our paperwork. He looked at it, looked at us, and asked why we hadn’t gotten the visa immediately. We told him we weren’t aware we needed it.

He said the process might be complicated. He acted like it could take a long time, and in my still-hazy state of new parenthood I thought he might have implied that it might not happen at all.

Then he handed us a pen and paper and told us we must write a letter of apology to the official in charge.

Ten minutes later, we had our visa.

When he was younger my son would tell people he was a mix of Korean, American and German. Now he usually says he’s from Florida, where my husband and I grew up, where his sister was born and where he lived in the first house he remembers.

But I will always think of him as my Korean Turtle Boy who was nearly detained for being an illegal immigrant.

Math.

Just saying the word makes some students shudder.

But, you have to take it to graduate. And, yes, believe it or not, you might just use those equations, or at least the math processes, in real life.

So, if you are sitting at your kitchen table until the wee hours of the morning scratching out problems over and over again, and find you just can’t figure it out, you may want to check out some of these free math help sites online. Each is designed for advanced high school math courses and beyond, so don’t worry about tripping over the little kid stuff.

www.mathportal.org – Designed and maintained by a professional mathematician, the site offers example problems and a very long list of formulas and how to use them. You can also email the mathematician if you have questions. He includes a link to online calculators and practice tests so you can master your new found skills.

www.mathvids.com – If you are a visual learner, this site is for you. This site, also free, was designed by mathematicians who have created videos of teachers demonstrating how to work through advanced math problems. The videos take you step by step through each math equation. And, if you don’t understand the way one teacher explains it, there are videos of the same problem, taught by different teachers. You do have to sign up for the site, but joining is free.

www.sosmath.com – Of the three this site is the least easy to navigate. The page is much more jumbled and not as professional looking as the first two. However, you can click on the topic and the page gives a very boiled down, simple explanation of how to work the problem. You just have to ignore the advertisements that frame the page.

By Tiffany Shedd

School has started. The temperatures are dropping and the leaves are changing. Starbucks has Pumpkin Spice Latte for sale. So that means two things: fall is here, and PCS season is ending.

If you made a move, you’re probably starting to feel a bit more settled. Maybe you didn’t move but your spouse did. I know anytime I hear that my service member will be out of town for an extended training, I get anxious and start trying to plan for my mom to come visit.

I am lucky to have that option. I know some of you probably are not as lucky, but enduring an unaccompanied assignment doesn’t have to be horrible.

Being part of an EFMP family sometimes means making hard choices in order to to best take care of your special needs family member(s), and that could mean that you find yourselves in a Geographical Bachelor situation.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, it just means that the service member gets orders for an unaccompanied tour, outside of a deployment or TDY. Any situation that causes your family to be apart is stressful, but when you are an EFMP family, there are extra levels of stress involved.

Military life is tough. Military life with family members who require extra services and attention can be extremely tough, but once you get past the initial shock and awe of being without your spouse, you might see that your time apart may not be the worst thing ever.

Most likely if you are making this adjustment it could mean a few different scenarios. One is that you choose to stay at the installation your spouse was previously assigned. You likely have been here for several years, so you know the area. You probably have friends and a support group already in place. You know your family member(s) doctors and specialists. You have routines and schedules that make your day less stressful. These are all awesome things. The only thing that really changes is adjusting to not having that every day support of someone coming home to help with things.

Scenario number two is that you chose to move closer to family. This can be great. You have the built in support of being close to loved ones. You probably are familiar with the area. But, you may be far away from a military installation, so you may not get the support that you are used to from other military spouses. You most likely don’t know the doctors or specialists that would be responsible for taking care of your family members.

If you didn’t check the area before you left your installation, you may find it hard to find the care you need without the military support system and EFMP program behind you. If you are just finding out how hard it is, don’t be afraid to contact the EFMP office that you left behind and ask them for advice on finding services, specialists, etc to make your family’s transition smoother.

Even though both of these scenarios have pros and cons, ultimately you need to make the decision you feel is right for your family, and make that situation work for you. Here are some ways to help you along your way.

If you stayed at your previous installation, look into respite care. Talk to your EFMP program directors and find out if your family is eligible. This can be a welcome break for you that you can take advantage of just to get some errands run or even just go to the gym and relax by yourself. If you aren’t eligible for respite care, talk to Child, Youth and School Services and see if your children/family member can use hourly care. If you have a family member over age 18, this may not be an option, but perhaps EFMP or CYSS can help point you toward community resources to fit your needs.

If you chose to move back home, hopefully you are able to recruit family members to give you some time away from your family. Taking care of yourself, especially when your spouse is away, is incredibly important. You can’t take care of your family if you are constantly rundown and stressed out. If your home town is not near a military facility, figure out exactly how far you are from one and become familiar with it. Look for military support groups online, specifically EFMP groups. If you were a part of a group on your old installation, stay in touch with them if you are feeling disconnected from the military aspect of your life.

Sometimes it’s hard for family members who aren’t affiliated with the military to get exactly what you’re going through. They mean well, but there are just things that other military spouses and members will understand implicitly.

Though both situations are going to be difficult, they are not impossible. You will still be able to communicate with your spouse. Try to stay connected to one another in fun ways. Make a Facetime or Google Hangout date to watch your favorite show together. Send each other funny texts. There is also a lot to be said for sending and receiving handwritten letters.

Communication is key in helping your family make this separation work. It is ok to vent to your spouse. I know if the past we’ve been advised against this, but keeping things bottled up and then unleashing a year or more worth of grievances is going to do a lot more harm than a 10-minute rant about how hard it is to get an appointment for your kids.

It will be tough, but you can do this. You are a smart, independent, resourceful military spouse.

Remember that you’re only one person, so don’t beat yourself up for not being able to be in three different places at once. Figure out what is important to your family’s happiness and well being and focus on those things. This assignment isn’t the end of the world, and it won’t last forever. Your family will be back together before you know it.