On our kitchen calendar, there’s an eight day block of time this month with the words “Mommy at Conferences.” As soon as I wrote those with a dry erase marker, our four little boys dropped their jaws.
“Where are you going?”
“When are you coming back?”
“But I have a field trip that day!”
“Who is going to take care of us?”
I raised my eyebrows at them and simply answered, “Daddy will be here with you.”
The looks I got were a mix of skepticism and excitement. After all, mommy makes them eat vegetables with dinner and do crazy things like bring the laundry downstairs. But dad? Well, he’s the unknown. He’s always the fun parent when we’re co-captaining the ship, but they’ve never been left all alone with him before for longer than a day or two.
I’ve always been the one running the Avenger Initiative when he went away to work.
But now, my head is swimming. Do I prep meals in advance? Do I make sure all the laundry is done? Do I leave it all up to him and then secretly place a nanny camera in the living room? I have to admit, the last idea has a wee bit of merit.
We’d been expecting a four day trip, but when I needed to extend the time due to another conference being held directly after the first, I told my husband, “It looks like I need eight days split between Nashville and Las Vegas.”
Of course his first reaction was, “Wait, you’re going to Vegas without me?”
To which I kind of grimaced and said, “Looks like it.”
His eyes flew wide, and he said, “You’re leaving me for eight days?”
Seriously?
“You just left me for nine months,” I replied, and then reminded him of the previous three deployments which were each a year. “I think if you can handle terrorists, you can handle our five kids.”
At that moment, a war broke out between our middle boys that would have made Chuck Norris proud. And I think my husband suddenly may have been preferred to face the terrorists. That reminds me, I need to leave him a striped shirt and a whistle.
So he’s taking leave, and spending those days with our kids, giving me the opportunity to further my career, and I couldn’t be more thankful. In this military life, I’ve often found myself putting my needs behind his. After all, we PCS for his career, he has an unpredictable schedule, and he tends to spend massive amounts of time overseas, or at schools or trainings – none of which he can help. My job has always taken a back seat because that’s how our family has needed to live to function.
But when I signed my book deal, our lives shifted dramatically, and we became a two-career household. When Jason takes these days off to be a stay-at-home dad it means more than him supporting my career, it’s showing me that he’s capable of putting my career first when the situation calls for it. Without a better way to say it, I’m so incredibly thankful to him for the love and the support he shows. And yes, I know it’s not fair that he goes to work in Afghanistan while I meet my colleagues in Las Vegas.
So for once, it will be me Skyping in to see our babies and wondering how he’s doing. Would it be fun to secretly hide a little nanny cam? Sure, but I won’t. Not because I don’t want to see him losing his mind between ninja fights, diaper changes and homework (a small, evil voice inside me lets loose with a grin when I think about this), but because part of me is scared that he won’t. Part of me is terrified that he might actually run this house better than I do. In which case, I guess I’ll bring home a bottle of wine and beg him to be the Yoda to my Skywalker. Or I’ll just ask what he bribed the kids with.
I’m leaving for a week, and I’m nervous, but I know he’s got this. After all, I trust him in the same way he trusts me – wholeheartedly. But if anyone wants to sneak by and take pics of how he’s doing our daughter’s hair … well, I’d definitely go for a giggle there. Those curls may be the death of him.
Good luck, babe. May the force be with you. By the power of Grayskull, cowabunga, and autobots roll out. Enjoy your daddy-only week. Their superhero capes are hanging in the toy room, and there might just be a daddy-sized one ready and waiting. You’ve got this and I miss you already.
