One of my dearest friends messaged me in a panic last week. Her daughter is heading to kindergarten.

Should she stay at the private school she loved, but would have to leave at the end of the year for first grade? Should she head into the unknown, public school, first grade? Would she be behind the curve when it came to making friends if she stayed in the private school? What if the kids at the new school didn’t like her?

What if she didn’t like them?

What if?

Kindergarten can be hard. For grownups.

We’ve now processed three of our five children through the first day of kindergarten. For us, each new beginning has been easier. There are less tears and more high-fiving in the parking lot when my husband and I realize we arrived at this milestone with less bumps and bruises each time.

But for my dear friend, delivering her firstborn to the threshold of the future, 18 years that are going to whiz by in a blink, the unknown was overwhelming.

And to her I say. That is ok.

Let yourself cry when she walks through that door. Be worried for her. Be attentive. Listen when she speaks and hear what she is saying when she comes home at night.

Guide her, advise her. Go through her bookbag.

Ask who she sits with at lunch and hang on every word as she discusses the difference in the My Little Pony characters that one friend likes but that another friend doesn’t.

Correct her when necessary. Praise her when deserved. 

But, also, let her go.

She will trip. Let her pick herself up.

She will fail. Let her. And then, help her learn why she failed and how to do better in the future.

A friend will betray her. Let it happen. And then help her understand how words hurt and why kindness to others is so important.

She will want to take risks. Let her. She will learn.

She will want to make friends with someone not like her. Invite this person to dinner. Teach her to respect the beautiful, colorful, cultural differences of our world.

Stand by her side, not in front of her.

For grownups who know the dangers of the world, that first step is terrifying.

For a kindergartener, that first steps means opportunity and magic.

Let her seize her moment and soar.

As it turns out, my friend’s daughter surprised us all and decided she wanted to leave behind the comfort of her private preschool/ kindergarten that she loved and move to the public school.

She was ready for the big school. She was ready for the challenge. She was excited.

World, watch out. The kindergarteners have begun their path to greatness.

And mom, stand back and enjoy. The best is yet to come.