Divorce is never easy. And in the military it’s often complicated by two of the things that can make military marriage difficult to begin with: Geography and bureaucracy.

Divorce proceedings against a servicemember are generally filed in the state where the servicemember lives, according to Peter Cushing, a Florida attorney who specializes exclusively in military divorce.

Meaning, that when it comes to military divorce, there are literally 50 ways to leave your lover.

“They’re completely different situations between a typical military divorce and a civilian divorce,” Cushing said. “In a military divorce couples might have moved, in 20 years, or six or seven times all over the world.”

The first step for a spouse filing for divorce from an active duty husband or wife is to determine which state has jurisdiction. If the servicemember is out of the country or otherwise absent, proceedings might be filed in the home of record as indicated on the monthly Leave and Earnings Statement.

“One of the biggest differences (between military and civilian divorce) is simply dealing with the logistics when an active duty member is out of the area and the spouse is in the area,” said Katharine Maddox, a Virginia attorney who often handles military divorces. “Service of the divorce paperwork may be considerably more difficult, and finalizing a matter when the active duty member does not want to cooperate is likewise difficult.” 

Financial support during a separation and divorce are also often big unknowns for a military spouse.

“Each branch of service does have rules and regulations that vary with regards to supporting your spouse,” specifically during the separation period before a divorce is final, Cushing said.

The Army, for example, mandates that a spouse receive a portion of the active duty member’s BAH while they are separated. Other services have less stringent guidelines. The base legal office can provide the rules and regulations, and servicemembers can be punished for not following them.

Once a divorce is settled, though, any separation benefits are voided and a court order is necessary for further financial support.

That support can also vary, particularly when it comes to retirement pay.

“It depends on if it’s a long-term marriage or not,” Cushing said. “If it’s a short term marriage, like less than five years, they’re not going to get a whole lot.”

The Uniformed Services Former Spouse’s Support Act, a federal law passed in 1981, allows state courts to treat a servicemember’s retirement pay as joint property in much the same way as a house or bank account, and to order that up to 50 percent of retirement benefits be paid directly from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) to the ex-spouse. The rule applies only to those married for at least 10 years of a servicemember’s active duty service.

A court can still grant a portion of retirement pay to those married less than 10 years, but that amount is generally based on earnings during the time the couple was married and cannot be paid directly by DFAS.

Medical benefits also vary, from temporary Tricare coverage for a certain time after a divorce to lifetime benefits for those married more than 20 years.

“Military spouses are not ‘automatically’ entitled to any benefit, and should talk to an attorney to ensure that he or she is not waiving a benefit that he or she would be entitled to receive otherwise,” Maddox said.  

Overlooking the Survivor Benefit Plan – an insurance policy that guarantees a servicemember’s retirement benefits are still paid after he or she dies, is one example of potential support that is often overlooked, she said.

Many military bases include divorce fact sheets on their websites, and readily advise both sides to seek an attorney and rely on a court order for financial support.

“Commanding officers will counsel people, certainly, to support their wife and kids, and in extreme cases they’ll even take administrative action against someone who isn’t supporting their wife and family,” Cushing said. “But normally these things are better left to the court system.”

Quick facts about military divorce:

• Can the on-base legal assistance office handle my divorce? No, but they can explain the obligations of the active duty spouse during the separation period, and help the couple draft a separation agreement.
• Do I, as a non-military spouse, receive any education benefits after my divorce? Not automatically. By federal law, the Post 9-11 GI Bill is not considered community property and cannot be part of a court-ordered financial support package. However, GI Bill benefits can be considered during mediation and a servicemember can choose to give those benefits to a non-military spouse during a divorce.
• Can my spouse’s command force him/her to pay child support or spousal support once the divorce is final? No. A court order is required for monetary support, including division of retirement assets.
• Do I have to move out of military family housing if my spouse and I separate? Usually, yes. A non-military spouse cannot live in government housing without the active duty military member, and an active duty military member cannot live in family housing alone. An active duty member can be allowed to stay in housing if he or she has children still living with them.
• Does my active-duty spouse have to pay for my health care? No, unless such an arrangement is part of the divorce proceedings.
• We live overseas. Will the military move my kids and I back to the U.S. if I divorce or separate from my active-duty spouse? Yes. The process is known as “Early Return of Dependents” and requires command approval.
• How long can I stay at an overseas duty station after divorce? Usually 90 days. Non-military spouses fall under a special resident category in most foreign countries. That status is granted based on being married to a servicemember.