By Amy Nielsen

Failure: /noun/ 1) lack of success, 2) the omission of expected or required action. (Google Dictionary)

So I did it.

Completed my first term as a Master’s candidate and, I failed a class. I failed organic chemistry. I was barely failing for the first third of the term. Then, miraculously, I was passing after I got really lucky on a quiz and scored high enough to just pop over the passing threshold. I gained confidence and kept up the miniscule margin of positive points I accumulated, until the final exam. Which, I flat out bombed.

I was fairly certain I would fail the final exam, but after my recent successes, I was tentatively hopeful I might eek out a pass. Even though we only had one chance at this exam, unlike the weekly quizzes which always had two chances, the professor allotted ample time to complete the exam. In fact that extra time is what did me in. Time always does.

This was an online final exam of 70 multiple choice questions, no essays, open book, no proctor. I am pretty certain even if you had never taken a single organic chemistry class in your life, in the four hours we were to complete the exam, given good google-fu and a bit of extrapolation, one could search for every answer and probably pass. I, however, let the clock run away with my brain. Again.

I spent several agonizing hours the night before I scheduled myself to take the test realizing that the time limit gave me exactly three minutes to answer each question. Not a lot of time at all. The week before, I had submitted my timed physiology exam with literally 22 seconds to spare, having posted only a rough outline for the last essay question. I still get a twist in my stomach when I remember seeing that number. Time is my nemesis.

We had a week between our last quiz and the due date for the exam. I took my time preparing to study. I had several obligations to meet both at home and for other classes. I needed a brain break after the final week push of information that all professors are culpable of. I wanted to start getting into the holiday spirit.

I scheduled myself to take the exam a full 24 hours before the due date and time. I have little enough confidence in technology and my track record with it when I am anxious and stressed to expect things to go wrong and I allow time to fix it. This term the error happened in another class, and for that I am thankful. If it had happened with this exam I would have just tossed my hands in the air and given up on the spot.

I spent the morning of my exam day gathering my materials. Thankfully my professor is not a jerk, he just teaches in a style I have great difficulty learning from. To his credit, his exam prep tools and notes were exceptionally helpful and without them I would have failed even more catastrophically. I then proceeded to procrastinate my way through a lingering lunch.

When I did finally sit down at this very keyboard to answer 70 simple multiple choice questions, I was ready to throw up and run away to Mars.

The stinging experience of my physiology exam still smarting on my conscious, I set both the kitchen timer and my phone stop watch to count down in sync. That’s when my brain started running away with me. I couldn’t help but keep repeating the math to calculate 70 questions into four hours. This might seem like a simple mantra like problem for some, but for me it is a lengthy engrossing task – I have dyscalculia, dysgraphia, and dyslexia. Math is especially hard, yet somehow, my brain turns to math problems in times of anxiety – especially when time is involved. So while I am trying to focus and concentrate on how to name the squiggle drawing on the page, I keep hearing the answer three minutes in the back of my mind. Three minutes.

Are you looking that up fast enough? Did I spend too much time on that answer? Oh, that one was easy to find. Wait, that was too easy, look it up again. Ugh, too much time, it was right. Moving on.

I did this until I reached question 70 and looked up at the timer and saw it was only two and a half hours into the exam. I still had plenty of time to go back and recheck the answers. But how much time could I spend on each answer this time around.

And off to the races my brain went with its jockey time.

Which is when I made a choice. I stopped. I listened to what I was doing. I felt how much tighter my stomach was getting as I calculated again and again. I decided in a split second that while there was a remote possibility I could squeeze out a pass for this class if I pushed hard and long – to the end of that allotted time – I could maybe pass this exam. But Lordy, another hour and a half of that jockey on my back, driving me to clench my hands so hard typing they cramped.

Submit.

And in the next instant I had my answer. I had failed.

Not only was the exam grade calculated instantly, the course grade was as well as all other assignments for the term were graded and posted.

I failed by exactly 1.02 points. But a fail is still a fail.

The well of emotion began to ebb and I realized I was not angry. I was not frustrated. I was not even too ruffled, apart from the frazzling I took from the two and a half hours of exam panic. I was in fact almost at peace.

What I had come to realize was that this class was not about learning and passing organic chemistry, it was about learning to be a competent, confident, applied student. While I may have failed organic chemistry the first time, and in that I join a very large club so I don’t really feel a failure, I succeeded in learning how to be a better student and by extension a better teacher.

Redefining a failure, seeing the moral in the lesson is as much a part of a good Master’s program as is passing foundation curriculum.

Last year Americans reported spending an average of $983 for holiday gifts, an increase of $54 from the previous year, according to American Research Group, Inc.

The recipient receiving the smallest percentage of that amount, other surveys suggest, is the gift givers’ co-workers or employer. Last year the Deseret News reported that 73 percent of respondents in a recent survey said they spent less than $20 on a gift for a co-worker or boss.

Compare that to 30.1 percent surveyed who planned to spend up to $100 on a loved one.

Not all gifts are created equal. Neither are all companies. If you plan on gift giving at your workplace this season follow these unwritten rules of office holiday giving, culled from industry experts.

First, if you are the boss, remember, gift giving should be voluntary. Families are often stretched thin at the holidays and purchasing a sleigh full of gifts for the office may leave their own stockings bare.

Second, be personal, not creepy. Does your cubicle mate like a specific sports team? Great, buy a cap or a mug. Gifts that are too personal may cause discomfort or carry a serious “ewwww” factor.

Third, ditch the gag gift. Sure, you thought the candy pooping reindeer was hilarious. So did your 3-year-old. The office may not react the same way. No gift is better than being reprimanded or even fired for a poor choice.

Fourth, if you are new to the company, do some reconnaissance on gift giving norms in the office. Is there a “dirty Santa” gift giving game? Are names drawn out of a hat? Are gifts given at all? Find out the rules and follow them.

Fifth, are you genuinely friends with a co-worker, outside the office? Give their gift to them away from the office crowd on your personal time.

Finally, let the gift card save you. Too often we spent too much time trying to pick out the perfect gift for people we barely know. A $10 gift card to a local coffee shop or a sandwich place near the office is a handy pick me up most people will happily accept and enjoy. And, it makes your shopping, easy, inexpensive and finished quickly.

We’ve all heard of “What Color is Your Parachute?” and “Who Moved My Cheese?” Both are tried and true guides to starting a new career path, embarking on a new life journey, or just gaining perspective on change in general.

But there’s a whole stack of other great books out there for those who are facing a major transition, some even specifically geared toward military retirees or those leaving the military for other reasons. From finances to benefits to job searches to becoming an entrepreneur, chances are there’s a book that covers it.

Whether you are a week or a decade away from life after the military, here’s 10 good reads to help you plan for - and feel inspired about - the next step: 

• “Mission Transition: Managing Your Career and Retirement,” by Janet Farley. Published in 2017. Amazon rating: 4 stars.

This book, just published in October, gives the low-down on the new blended retirement system and how it affects current and future service members. It also looks at ways to improve and understand your finances, take responsibility for your own retirement planning, and tips for surviving life in the civilian world.

Farley is the author of several other helpful books including the “Military-to-Civilian Career Transition Guide” and the “Military Spouse’s Employment Guide.” She is also the spouse of a military retiree.

• “The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement,” by Doug Nordman. Amazon rating: 4.5 stars. Published in 2011.

Nordman is a Navy retiree who shares his strategies for becoming financially independent by your early 40s or so. In other words, this is a guide to how not to HAVE to work after the military.

He focuses on how to build a solid financial portofolio with military benefits, savings, frugal living and investing (including investing in yourself). Nordman also talks about balancing family and your desired lifestyle with those goals, and includes helpful checklists and other resources. 

• “Soldier of Finance,” by Jeff Rose. Amazon rating: 4.5 stars. Published in 2013.

Army veteran Rose, now a Certified Professional Planner, models his book on the Soldier’s Handbook issued to new Army recruits. But his information is intended for anyone looking to change their financial habits and build long-term wealth.

Rose takes a strategic, battle-like approach to financial planning. The book includes 14 “modules” that discuss topics like “tactical budgets” and how to “target and methodically eliminate debt.” It also includes quizzes and other tools to help you focus on planning for future financial success.

• “Well and Faithfully Discharged: Financial TTP for Military Retirement” by Curt Sheldon. Amazon rating: Five stars. Published in 2017.

Another one new to the market, Sheldon’s book branches out from financial planning to look at a number of topics unfamiliar to service members, such as civilian job benefits, insurance, social security and estate planning.

“TTP,” an acronym for tactics, techniques and procedures, is a nod to Sheldon’s  27-year Air Force career.

• “Rookie Smarts: Why Learning Beats Knowing in the New Game of Work,” by Liz Wiseman. Amazon ranking: 4.5 stars. Published in 2014.

A Wall Street Journal best seller, Wiseman’s book is a study in leadership, taking on new challenges, and staying “fresh” in an ever-evolving job market and economy. She uses the term “perpetual rookies” to show that constant learning is the key.

In other words, fresh eyes and “rookie smarts” might be one of your most valuable assets in post-military life.

- “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and in Business” by Charles Duhigg. Amazon rating: 4.5 stars. Published in 2014.

Science can explain even the most mundane things in life, like our daily habits. Pulitzer Prize-winning business reporter Duhigg delves into those theories to explain why we have habits, how we can change them, and why they are so important to success.

In a narrative style that topped nearly every best-seller list, Duhigg explores boardrooms, professional sports and political movements to uncover the motivations and potential for success in anyone.

• “Mission Entreprenuer: Applying Lessons from Military Life to Create Success in Business Startups” By Jen Griswold. Amazon rating: Published in

Griswold’s work is geared toward military spouses and female veterans like herself. She served on active duty in the Air Force, and later in the Reserves while also being a military spouse forced to start her career over again and again in a new location.

Her book focuses on leveraging your military skills – or any skills you already have – to start your own business.

• “Designing Your Life: How to build a well-lived, joyful life,” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. Amazon rating: 4.5 stars. Published in 2016.

This one is another New York Times bestseller that looks at transition and building your life from an unconventional viewpoint.

The authors are both design professors at Stanford University – the kind of career that usually focuses on designing new products. Instead, they’ve brought the theory of design thinking, which really focuses on problem solving, into everyday life. Their book is geared toward all ages and career levels, and teaches the lesson that no one should settle for an unhappy, poorly “designed” life.

• “Complete Guide to Money” and “The Total Money Makeover,” both by Dave Ramsey. Published in 2015 and 2015, respectively. Amazon rank: 4.5 - 5 stars.

The financial planning guru who has made millions off telling how other people to get their own financial house in order continues to be a solid choice for many planning for retirement.  If online forums and Facebook posts are any indication, lots of military folks follow Ramsey’s methodical approach to paying down debt and building wealth.

Writer Charles Chu recently wrote about the benefits of being lazy.

In fact he wrote that “lazy people make the best leaders.”

Someone please hide that article from my children and burn it. Twice.

During the week’s I work long shifts, by Friday I have to wade through a sea of clothing to cross their rooms. When I wake in the morning I find their dinner dishes still neatly tucked in their assigned spots at the table. My middle child has a habit of dropping his trash in the middle of the floor and then stepping over it for the next three days until I pull my hair out as I scream at him to stop and pick it up.

But I assure you this is not the type of laziness that Chu is advocating for.

Instead, he wants us all to remember that while hard work may pay off, it doesn’t necessarily allow for creativity, unusual inspiration and lucky breaks.

Chu recalls the book, “The Wiki Man” written by Rory Sutherland , vice-chairman of Ogilvy Group UK. In it, Sutherland stresses how important breakthroughs in any field were made simply through unplanned luck. He points out that at one time Microsoft hung whiteboards along its office corridors so that ideas produced during hallway conversations could be documented because those accidental meetings were often more productive than the scheduled ones.

A recent study by the University of Minnesota suggests that people with higher IQs also sit at messy desks. The study suggests that people who spend less time cleaning and more time worrying about important issues are smarter. Not to mention, messy environments, scientists believe, inspire a creative workflow.

Business Insider quoted psychological scientist Kathleen Vohs who said, “Disorderly environments seem to inspire breaking free of tradition, which can produce fresh insights. Orderly environments, in contrast, encourage convention and playing it safe.”

I personally agree.

As a writer I have to carry notepad and pen, and use the voice recorder on my I-phone to record my best work as it flows carelessly through my head while I drive mindlessly down the interstate after eight hours of straining to find the right words.

Project ideas taunt me in my dreams. I work late night hours to flesh out ideas that flash through my brain while I’m boiling macaroni and cheese for dinner. A free, relaxed, lazy mind is a creative mind.

And my desk, piled high with papers and books, I’ll have you know I can find anything I need in a flash. I can’t vouch that the constant threat of an avalanche of papercuts makes me more creative but I’m going to own it. As it is what I tell my boss when he insists I rein it in.

So. Stop thinking. Let loose. Go get a coffee and forget about your current assignment.

The answer might just come to you.

By Amy Nielsen

I travel for three reasons - for a purpose, with purpose, or without a care.

I have been travelling internationally since I was small. I consider myself a third culture kid. My mother is the one who taught me about the three kinds of travels, though we never talked about it as such. We travelled together with the rest of our immediate family, she went away on her own for business for many weeks at a time – beginning when I was in grade school, and then there were the trips we took alone together – some of my most favorite memories.

When I travel for a purpose I am traveling with a timeline and specific agenda, like most business travelers. I rarely do this anymore, though I used to do it all the time. I spent many years on the road or in the skies. It is traveling without really seeing or experiencing the differences of place you are in. It is a sad and sorry existence, and it takes a toll on the body like no other stress.

I adore travelling with purpose, it is my favorite reason to be on the move. When I say with purpose, I mean that one is traveling either with a timeframe and no specific route, or better, a specific route and no timeframe. Either way you get a modicum of personal choice in the matter. This mode of travel can be the most amazing vacation or a wonderful business relationship if you can get it.

Without a care is actually quite stressful for me. Many people love the idea of being able to travel without caring where they go, how long it takes to get there, or what route you travel. The ability to do this is rare. My own experience with this sort of travel has usually been one when I really had no other choice, move or be moved and land when the feeling strikes because everywhere is nowhere. It is a tumultuous sort of travel.

Recently, I spent the weekend on campus with my master’s program for the first time. I am pursuing a program that can be taken either completely online, hybrid online and campus, or completely on campus. Because of the state I reside in and the degree I am obtaining, I am required to follow a hybrid or campus structure with this school. As a full-time student, I take eight or more credits, of which two or more must be completed on campus every semester.

This being my first semester, I had a conference with my academic advisor before I started. We decided to just follow the designed course of study for the first term. I am happy I did. I needed time to learn to first be a student again – then - a graduate student, on a new digital platform, several states away from the physical campus, knowing no one else who is in the cohort - and worry about passing organic chemistry and physiology. All in 15 weeks.

Of the two options for this class, I chose the one in the later portion of the term specifically so I was more comfortable with the school before dealing with the added fun of travel and a new environment. I happen to love to travel. I do it well and it makes me happy. This was bound to be a grand adventure.

The field I work in is scientifically technical and mushy feely all at the same time, and getting more so every day. It is practiced by a vast array of people in a multitude of ways. How we all go about it is completely and utterly lost in the classes because we never see each other. Attempts are made at interaction between students in the online portion, mandatory weekly discussion groups, check -ins and forums, and the ever dreaded group paper. But for the most part my courses fail to connect students on even a professional level, let alone personal level.

None of the online projects hold a candle to understanding who you are studying with or as spending some concerted time in a classroom working out a problem together. Getting to know the gal you met on the travel thread, the one who helped you understand that students for the same distance away can make the weekends work, is never going to happen in a classroom chat board. Because we were able to sit together at lunch and get the train schedule and Uber driver’s number, I now have plans to take many more classes on campus.

This trip proved that I can make this program be even more than it was. By discovering the access to the range of class delivery options, it opens up a whole new reason for me to travel with purpose on a regular basis to a place where I will fill my skull with completely mind blowing and baffling ephemera and then coddiwomple home slowly digesting it all.

I will get to hang out with interesting students, occasionally see far flung friends who live near the school, and make connections otherwise missed. These opportunities are just too good to pass up. So when I get home I am going to switch my online macronutrient class to the on campus section as it happens to neatly line up with currently open weekends on my calendar. Off I go!

On Jan. 1, 2018 the three current Tricare regions will combine to form just two regions, meaning military families may face delays in enrollment or be assigned new primary care managers.

Tricare members in the north and south regions will become part of the new Tricare East Region, managed by Humana Military. Members currently west region will remain in the west region, managed by Health Net Federal Services, LLC.

As the change takes place, Tricare officials said there will be a delay for Tricare Prime enrollments and changes to primary care managers while files are transferred to Humana Military. A new network provider locator is already available online at humanamilitary.com/east.

Any current referrals and authorizations that were scheduled to carry over into 2018 remain valid. Check your referral sheet to see if your authorization was valid through 2018 or if it expired in December 2017.

On Jan. 1, 2018, all EOBs, referrals, authorizations, eligibility and claims details will be available at humanamilitary.com

All military families must be enrolled in a Tricare plan in order for Tricare to pay for civilian care. Not sure if you are? Visit Tricare.mil/DEERS. You can also set up automated, monthly payments at humanamilitary.com to prevent an interruption in coverage.

Finally, in 2018 Tricare Select will replace Tricare Standard and Tricare Extra. If you are enrolled in Tricare Prime you will remain in Tricare prime.

Many civilian companies use December as a benefits enrollment period. This is a great time to compare your Tricare benefits with any civilian employment benefits your spouse or retired military member may receive to make sure you are not paying for coverage that does not add to your overall benefits.

“Terminal leave” is the time that a service member is allowed to take off duty at the end of his or her career. It’s typically a combination of regular accrued leave and permissive TDY.

The military grants that time so that retiring personnel can search for jobs or move to a new home. But instead of using terminal leave to settle into a way of life, some couples and families turn it into the adventure of a lifetime.

Space-a fights, cruises, a cross-country RV trip, that honeymoon you never got to have – or just a nice long visit with friends and family – terminal leave is an opportunity to do whatever you want, on whatever budget you have.

During a recent Facebook discussion with a number of recently and soon-to-be retired spouses, Rhonda Best said she and her husband plan to treat themselves to a trip to Las Vegas, then visit family. They’re also considering traveling space-a or taking a cruise.

“Who knows when you’ll get a chance to have these vacations when your soldier starts their new job,” Best said.

Terminal leave begins when you sign out of your last unit. At that point, though still active duty, the servicemember is basically done with the military, but continues to receive all pay and allowances until his or her retirement date. Nothing changes in terms of pay or benefits during terminal leave – you will even receive Basic Allowance for Housing, even if you don’t “live” anywhere.

My own husband had 112 days of terminal leave when he retired last year. We used it to jump-start our yearlong RV tour of the United States, with our two teenage kids.

Carol Baxter and her husband spent three months traveling Space A to eight foreign countries while on terminal leave, and another four months traveling the U.S. As for her husband, she said: “He is refreshed – recharged – and back to himself after a grueling 30-year career.”

Others said their retiring servicemember took a more practical route and started a new job while on terminal leave. That’s not a bad deal, either, when you consider you could potentially draw two paychecks at a time for a couple of months.

So how does terminal leave work? The terminal leave form is submitted with the original retirement paperwork. Typically, that is a year or so in advance of the actual retirement date. The individual unit will help figure out how much leave will be available. It’s a complicated calculation that takes into account many factors, including leave accrued while on terminal leave.

It also includes permissive TDY. Typically a servicemember retiring from a location within the United States is eligible for 10 days permissive TDY. Those retiring from overseas locations are eligible for up to 30 days. However, permissive TDY is at the discretion of the unit and will have to be approved.

Remember that 112 days of terminal leave I mentioned my husband having? That was 82 days of accrued leave, plus 30 days of permissive TDY.

Some people also opt to sell back their leave. However, doing that has tax implications (and you lose the BAH). Check carefully with your local finance office to see if selling back leave makes sense for your situation.

The website and blog “Poppin’ Smoke” are a great resource for Space A travel. Stephanie Montague created the blog after her husband retired from the Army in 2015 and they spent a year traveling the world Space A. (Note for those not familiar: Space A flights are military “space available.” They are free with the exception of occasional minimal fees or taxes, and can literally take you anywhere in the world).

Retirees can travel Space A, but there is a big advantage to doing so while on terminal leave and still on active duty. Active duty personnel and their families get higher priority for seats, meaning it’s much more likely you’ll get on a flight.

I personally know several families who have taken Space-A flights while on terminal leave, as their last “hurrah” before retirement. Once you familiarize yourself with the system – and remain flexible – it can be a great way to travel.

Remember that you can also stay in military lodging while traveling, to include hotels, TLA facilities, cabins and campgrounds. That can be a great way to travel on a budget, especially in the U.S.

“Being able to travel during terminal leave requires a little bit of advance planning,” Montague said. “But it's well worth it!”

This week I took a few minutes to check out the local job boards. The industry I am in is evolving and positions are opening up in unlikely places. My career path is one that can be massaged into several different industries under different titles. I live in a relative hot bed of activity for upscale, edgy, integrative idealism so one never knows what folks are willing to try out.

Two positions are open and both would be a nice addition to my resume while I work my way through my master’s program. I am consolidating a career from several different avenues and both would be a good fit to my progress. Both are as local as they can be in a rural community, with longstanding organizations doing work similar to what I want to eventually do.

Now, it’s time to hone the most important document in the job search, the cover letter. It is especially important in my case since my resume reads like a disjointed hopscotch down the eastern seaboard with no theme or reason.

I have begun to see the themes in my sling-shot, pin-ball career path that took me from lighting design to chef, veterinary assistant to volunteer and now herbalist and nutritionist. What did I learn and take forward into each iteration of myself? What strengths did I discover and what weaknesses were uncovered? Is there anything I have done that I really am not good at?

My first career was lighting designer, which I did professionally for almost 15 years. I learned the importance of leaning on the strengths of each member of a design team. I had the necessity of brevity and organization hammered into me on national tours. I learned that all the bad coffee in the world really can power a 28-foot truck through the Wisconsin winter snow to ensure a fulfilled contract and promised pay day. I learned that Unions don’t always suck.

My leap to the culinary world might seem jarring, but in a cover letter I have an opportunity to explain how it happened. I also have the chance to emphasize the continuity of team work and interdependence on strengths of each team member. A kitchen is nothing more than theater with live fire, sharp blades, and a menu for a script. My time there fostered in me a deep compassion for my staff and developed a sense of the necessity of hierarchy, a difference after the years working toward team equality.

The hardest chunk of time for me to explain are the years spent following my sailor husband on his journey in the Navy. I find it hard to maintain a focus on what I was doing on a professional and volunteer basis, and what I was learning informally. Those years are fundamental to where I am now, but elusive to summarize neatly.

I spent the first part of those years working for an animal shelter as a vet assistant. It might seem like a fill-the-time-as-a-dependent kind of position. As I learned, it is one that takes a whole different strength and compassion that I would never have developed without having been given the chance.

The world of shelter veterinary medicine is not one for the faint of heart, by any stretch of the imagination. Animal shelters are some of the hardest places I have ever been to. My soul was ripped open and shattered so many times, then gently and softly rebuilt with the tiniest of nudges from a furry friend or by the tears of a co-worker at the end of the day. Yet the lines in my resume read like I spent three years trimming nails and shooting vaccines.

How does one fully communicate the magnitude of being the New Mother’s Liaison for the Ombudsman staff for an aircraft carrier during an extended deployment to a potential civilian employer? Among our 5,000 sailors there are 157 new babies born or adopted in nine months including three sets of twins, two preemies, three lost pregnancies, two surprise pregnancies, six adoptions, one pregnant, deployed sailor who didn’t know she was pregnant until five months into the deployment, and my own first daughter?

Did I mention several of the mamas chose to weather the deployment at home – far from all military connections? It was like being the doula for a herd of flying monkeys with a wicked Starbucks/Target habit.

It is hard to parse the dramatic change my life took upon the birth of my second daughter with her rare genetic condition. Her entrance into the world opened doors into a universe I had no idea existed. It changed the wind in my sails and set a completely new course for me. But how to put that professionally?

Those early motherhood years are a struggle for any mama returning to the professional world. There is no accepted convention for, “I took ten years to raise these awesome amazing creatures and I experienced more in those years than I could ever have anywhere else” on a resume. Because let’s face it, the experience of raising children changes a person’s perspective about a whole lotta things from bodily habits to interpersonal sandbox interactions. Moving back into the workforce should have allowances for that growth and conventions for dealing with it at this point.

Ideas that were merely theoretical like access versus inclusion and the insanity that is intensive insurance involvement in care were daily battles. Inter-diagnosis special needs mommy wars became a reality. The cause of a spontaneous genetic mutation drove me to hound doctors to print all the latest research on tangents they hadn’t connected to because I was a mama on a mission. How my very language changed as I learned not only the proper medical jargon but also more compassionate advocacy.

Growing children demand education and with all of the other pieces of our lives, homeschool fit best. So I stepped up to be a founding member of a homeschool cooperative. The experience of creating educational programs with like-minded but equally strong-willed parents to benefit the greater good of our developing children has been one of dramatic successes and abysmal failures.  It rekindled my love of teaching and reminded me that I really appreciate a well-rounded team to explode open small ideas, yet having a proper board meeting with minutes is important to the process too.

This time lead directly to my formal studies in herbal and nutritional medicine, my current path and master’s studies. The underpinnings of my work with teams developing cohesive well thought out complete programs - now using the tools of nutrition, traditional herbal medicine, a deep understanding of physiology, are the focus of my future career in integrative team based medicine. My fear about these letters are that I will overstate myself and end up being overqualified, when I really just want the chance to learn more.

By Amy Nielsen

I have the little black book that I started in culinary school. Get your head out of the gutter. It is my master recipe book. It’s a black heavy cardboard spiral bound thing, four inches by six inches with thick textured paper inside – like those sketch books angst-ridden teens carry around. This one has graph paper inside it and a sticker of the conch republic on the cover. That alone should tell you something about me.

On a left hand page in the last third of the book near the bottom of the page, are the recipes I need this week. My Mom’s stuffing, Alton Brown’s brine, and Chef Keith’s green bean casserole.

The book became somewhat infamous at school when several students approached me to make copies of it as we neared final exams. My master baking instructor did make a copy of it, marking it up with red pen penned errors. I don’t know where that copy went, and I never made the changes in the book – but I know what they are.

I have added my, and other, special recipes to it over the last 15 years. In the beginning I added recipes quickly. I added the best of the best from my classes in school. I added recipes I tasted in restaurants. I read everything foodie and would create something and plant it in the book hoping to use it to impress later. There are recipes for every day and for special occasions. Some I have never used again and some I use almost weekly – so much that I no longer need the reference I put down.

I would add anything that came to mind that I didn’t want to lose, my Mom’s chicken curry and dolmades were among the first recipes I added that didn’t come from school. I went through a cake making phase thinking I would eventually write a book and the back has several pages of recipes I developed, a favorite is a chocolate whiskey cake. Maybe I’ll make that one this week too.

For a while I was collecting flavor combinations rather than recipes and those pages read like an Avant-garde beat poem; radishes, peas, mint - foam. Then there are the shock value recipes; black squid ink pasta, with hot pink beet and ricotta filling served in neon green spring pea and parsley pesto cream or sweet apple aspic over orange and cherry cream cheese “salmon” complete with candied lemon slices and sugared parsley.

After school ended and I landed my first real cooking gig, I recorded information useful to a production kitchen. I have a great recipe for chicken pot pie for three hundred and fifty that requires ten gallons of milk and two pounds of roux. Need coq a vin for a hundred? I have that too. I also have the secret recipe to the most amazing cold curry chicken salad ever, dictated to me in Spanish by my head production cook - closed in the walk in so no one would hear us – and no – I won’t share it.

When I finally moved on to a new position and place in life, I started adding recipes for household meals. One pot wonders, casseroles, quiche, and quick fixes. I was a military wife and I was in the thick of home entertaining. Let me tell you, military spouses can cook the pants off of some very famous chefs I have studied.

There are recipes for spam musubi, kartoflesalat, kimchi, and lumpia. The most amazing collard greens I have ever had, a recipe from a white chick from Alaska by way of her Puerto Rican neighbor in Singapore. Recipes for ingredients impossible to find outside of the region; mango lassi from mango in the front yard, sassafrass root beer from the trees over the hedge. Delicacies from far flung hang outs; huli huli chicken, sausage gravy, and peanut soup.

Somewhere along the line I stopped being able to write on the pages. I have stuffed recipes in margins, on the bottom of half used pages, and even in the front and back covers. I began to add slips of paper with scribbles ratios and perhaps an ingredient list, rarely any method.

Sometimes I can decipher what I was squiggling and have rewritten a more full recipe out, though usually not bothering to transcribe it to a fresh sheet of paper. Other times, well, it took me three weeks with a slip taped to the cabinet door to figure out that it was for naan. There are clippings from magazines, printed pages, and cards handwritten by friends.

When I began my proper herbal studies, I started adding herbal remedies to the pile. Tonics and teas, formulae for spice mixtures and tinctures. I found a few notes reminding me of forgotten herbs and the occasional change in a long written recipe of an herb that might fit better.

These days it takes a lot to get into that book, both as a recipe and as a researcher. Somehow it has become more of a repository for memories than a place I search for recipes. I have Pinterest for that. This book is a place I go when I need to be reminded of where I come from.

I suppose I should start up volume two but somehow I just keep stuffing scraps of paper into this one instead. It looks more like a file folder than recipe book, with papers sticking out at odd angles and corners bent and fraying. It's held together by a straining silver spiral on one side and a fat hair tie - as is proper.

Maybe next year.

By Allison Perkins

Holiday potlucks in the breakroom are coming, are you ready?

I’ve learned there are two types. First, everyone brings a dish and the smorgasbord sits in the breakroom and is visited by one or two people at a time since everyone is so busy typing away to get done in time to leave for vacation.

Second, the entire office shuts down and gathers for fellowship around the food which can be a hoot at the right companies or uncomfortable at best.

So, whether you love or loathe mandatory company fun time, as it is called in the military, you need to find a way to play along.

First, don’t bring the weird food. You may absolutely love an exotic dish you discovered at your last overseas duty station and have mastered recreating it. That doesn’t mean everyone is willing to give it a try. The less complicated, the better.

Second, don’t feel pressured to cook. Most commissaries have a fabulous bakery and deli. Around the holidays they are flush with dessert trays and meat and cheese spreads. Save yourself the stress, just buy something. 

Third, try not to be a Grinch. It’s the holidays. It’s busy. Everyone is carrying an extra load to try to get done before the door is locked for the week. Try to take a few minutes to be social and make an appearance before you duck back into the cubicle.

And if you are the potluck planner, a few tips for you as well.

First, please, let people know early, not the night before or even a few days before. If you don’t know how hard it is to get to the grocery store for a single item, ask a military spouse whose husband is deployed. We’ve gone without milk at our house for a week simply because I didn’t feel like dragging all the kids into the store after hours to get it.

Second, don’t schedule the get-together the week of the holiday – you are simply asking for meltdowns at this point.

Finally, absolutely never ever make it mandatory – to bring a dish or participate in the festivities. The holidays can be a complicated ball of emotions for people at the holidays, especially military families. Give employees the space they need to deal with what is happening in their household without extra pressure to be merry and bright.

Happy potlucking!