It was a few days into this deployment, and I was feeling pretty good.
We were tired, for sure. A 3 a.m. drop-off on a dark boat dock isn’t exactly refreshing.
And my kids were sad that Daddy was gone, as was I.
But we were all fed and clothed and dressed. We even made soccer practice on time that week.
And then, late on a Friday afternoon, I opened my garage door to throw in another load of laundry and found myself standing in several inches of water.
By Jan Wesner Childs
During my husband’s worst deployment, in the midst of the surge in Iraq in 2007, I dreamed over and over that he had died. I had visions of what I would do if that happened, how I would react and how I would grieve.
The deployment checklist is a real thing.
Of course, there’s many things we do before my husband deploys that one would expect. Practical stuff any military command would hope you do, like powers of attorney and getting our taxes filed.
But then there’s the things that you won’t find on any official list.
The things like, “Buy new undershirts and socks,” or “stock freezer with easy-to-defrost-and-reheat frozen meals.”
I’ve made a new friend.
She’s married to a fellow sailor serving with my husband. They just had their wedding. They’re trying to have kids.
Our husbands were positively giddy to get us together.
So, I made my best chicken parmesan, and they came over, and everything was nice. She was sweet and kind and she definitely expressed interest in keeping me company during the upcoming deployment.
My girls inevitably end up in bed with me sometime after 3 a.m. I am never sure when, other than I’m sometimes semi-ruffled by a 3-year-old grabbing an edge of my fleece blanket.
But by the time my alarm goes off, and the sun peeks in the windows, we always wake up together.
Right after Thanksgiving, the story broke.
Women officers were filmed in submarine showers without their consent, and the videos were distributed. In Kings Bay, Ga.
We live there. My husband is a submariner. While that story didn’t personally affect my husband or the submarine he’s stationed on, it hit all too close to home.
Our community was, understandably, up in arms. And, less understandably, at each other’s throats.
The message boards lit up. Facebook statuses were ablaze. People were all over the Internet and whispering behind hands.
I took my 3-year-old to her first soccer practice last month.
It was the little toddler team on the Navy base. Other than ballet, it’s the first organized activity she’s ever done. And it’s definitely the first team sport she’s ever done.
First, the coach rallied them all together and made them pick a team name and taught them a quick cheer. I heard “Go Heroes!” the rest of the way home and on into the following morning. She loved soccer, even if she still had absolutely no idea how the game was played. She just loved the idea of being part of a team.
Deployment is very stressful on families.
But for some families, especially those in the lower enlisted ranks who sometimes struggle to make ends meet, dealing with deployment while struggling with financial difficulties makes life all the more taxing.
I have these down-in-the-dumps moments when my husband is deployed, and I’m playing the single-parent game.
It’s so hard. I’m tired. I don’t get a break. It’s lonely. I’m never alone.
I just want to pee/eat/shower/read a book without the constant “Mama! Mama!” and grabby little hands every few seconds.
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