Gay men and women are now allowed to serve beside my husband. The DOD now considers their partners to be my equal in the world of military spouses.
Sorry if I offend you, but, it sounds good to me.
About two years ago military spouses across the country received a detailed, long and, let’s be honest, boring, 44-question survey about our thoughts on the idea of allowing gay military members to serve openly and end the don’t ask, don’t tell policy.
I put a huge x-mark across the entire survey and wrote in the comments section, “Please stop wasting tax money on surveys and studies and just let qualified people, all qualified people regardless of sex, race or orientation serve. Gay people don’t bother me, but your surveys are driving me crazy.”
Apparently I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
The policy has since been dropped and gay and lesbian families are slowly making their way into the FRG meetings. Departing Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta also extended several benefits to same-sex spouses and unmarried partners earlier this month. Like traditional military spouses these individuals will now have access to on-base child care, healthcare facilities and commissaries. They will be issued military ID cards.
Grass-roots organizations have claimed that opening this door would demoralize the troops and strip the family support groups of their purpose.
They continue to send surveys, speculate and ask questions.
I have only one: will you be there?
When a military family in your neighborhood or in your unit suffers a tragedy, either on the battlefield or off, will you be there? Will you arrive with a willingness to help with meals, arrangements or just an ear to listen?
Will you pitch in to help decorate and fundraise for all those military balls?
Will you wear the colors of your partner’s unit proudly? Will you volunteer when help is needed, even if you don’t really feel like it? Will you be a team player? Will you be part of our extended family?
Will you have my back, and accept my help and friendship in return?
If the answer is yes, then that is all I need to know.
It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, gay or straight. What matters is that you are willing, in this crazy military life, to support those around you, often put the unit before yourself and be part of our extended family.
This life does not work unless we all work together. If you’re up for that challenge that is all that should matter.
So, welcome. I’m happy to have you here.
