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The Reawakening of Self-Esteem

By Amy Nielsen

I have some very interesting friends in my life. Many with deep passions for things well beyond my comprehension. Lately, I have had to make some hard decisions about what I really believe and what behavior I allow to continue in my circle of friends.

This recent political climate has reawakened a personal, and I believe, national understanding of self-esteem that is giving a voice to deeply held passions. The generalized indignation of the nation is setting free the voices of the people. Some of those voices speak unbelievable things.

According to Google, “self-esteem: noun; confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect”.

Ok, what is self-respect? “Self-respect: noun; pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity.”

Notice that nowhere in the definitions does it say anything about morality. That is up to us to make sure that, along with our pride in ourselves, we are raising up the pride in those around us by not squashing them down to climb on top of them.

I began to examine my beliefs and tolerances. I started at the very beginning. To whom was I born? To what was I born? How did that affect me and how I view the world? My young years were ones of some privilege. I understand now much more clearly where I come from. I understand what I learned to believe and what I saw and understood about life. I can now differentiate between the two and I understand why I was taught as I was, right or wrong. I have the ability as a thinking individual to change my mind, ask for forgiveness and formulate a better way of being.

I have lived a life significantly different from the vast majority of people I have met along my journey. Now, I am finally amongst a group of peers to whom I can really relate. I have lived in and with the highest of the high and among those who need the most respect for moving through life in an existence that is beyond unacceptable. That that divide happens within feet of each other, having lived on both sides, I cannot fathom not helping make things better for all.

I have moved forward in my beliefs and in my understanding of the human condition. I know what I can do to help in my small ways. I have learned through reflection and discussion what my worth is in the grand scheme of things. Not my worth in relation to others, but my worth within my understanding of the cosmos. I understand what I have to give and how I can best help heal the divide both inside a person and inside my community.

I swallow my privilege and remember when I wore different shoes. I teach peaceful relaxation and meditation to kids. I help women understand more about themselves. I love my neighbor but tolerate no crud. I sincerely believe that what I put out there will come back to me three fold and that Karma is Murphy’s little kid sister, so watch out.

I respect actions, and things I can see with my own eyes or through the eyes of people I trust who are in a situation. I am a global citizen with deep American roots. I fix it by making sure my every interaction is one of respect and dignity of the human being in front of me first. If I stand by my integrity, then I lead by example.

I have a brain and I am a rational person, I can be reasoned with. I can be wrong. With solid research, understanding, and compassion, I can live a life that makes the world a better place by helping others to live in kindness.

Boiling this down to daily interactions means being a good customer to get good customer service. If you are respectful of the barista, they are more inclined to give you good customer service. Simple as that.

Self-esteem is choosing to smile and make eye contact with your Shop-Rite checkout clerk. Self-esteem is as small as choosing tea over coffee, or greens over fries. Self-esteem is as big as 500,000 peaceful marchers gathered to promote intersectional social justice. Self-esteem is about actions speaking louder than words.

Remember that self-esteem is rooted in self-respect and at the end of the day the only person you accountable to is yourself.

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