Salute to Spouses Blog

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This New Year, Resolve to Toast Yourself, Not Change

New Year’s Eve is a time for renewal, celebration and, yes, those dreaded resolutions that everyone is always talking about. In my house, it’s an extra special time because it’s also when my husband and I got married.

Our wedding was on Dec. 30, 1990. Before you start doing the math in your head the answer is that we tied the knot 25 years ago today, perhaps before many of you reading this were even born. I am what you might refer to as a “senior spouse,” having been married to my husband for his entire Army career.

That wedding day seems like a long time ago. But the good thing about time is that it brings us the experiences and lessons and triumphs and defeats that make us who we are.

Trust me when I tell you this: Twenty-five years from now you will hardly recognize the person you are today. It’s hard to comprehend that so much living happens in a quarter-decade of an adult’s life.

Children are born and grown.  Pets are loved and lost. Parents pass away. Marriages and divorces happen. Friends come and go.

Through it all, we have the potential to become stronger and better and, if we’re really lucky, wiser.

If we let it, time shows us how to be the best version of ourselves.

This New Year’s, forget the resolutions. Salute yourself, past, present and future. And take this advice from someone doing the same:

If you have a career, don’t give it up. If you are lucky enough to have the choice to not work full-time, stay connected through part-time work, networking and professional organizations.

If you want to go back to school, do it. Your life is only going to get busier.

Travel. Live overseas. Embrace the diverse, wonderful people you meet along the way.

Be thrifty with your spending but not so much that you don’t have fun.

It’s OK to not “have it all,” at least not all at once. Give yourself a break if your life doesn’t seem perfect. Remember, it’s a work in progress.

Don’t give up on your family, your marriage, your dreams, yourself. Stay strong. Be proud. Focus on today, but remember to step back every once in a while, reflect on lessons learned and look at the road ahead.

This New Year’s, toast yourself. I’m pretty sure your next 25 years are going to be pretty awesome.

For Military Spouses
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