Focusing on my schoolwork has been tough lately because my concentration keeps being invaded by thoughts of the impending PCS to Korea that my husband will be making - alone. Even though it is 10 months from now, I am already running through the checklist of what needs to be done and know I am going to forget something. It has been a couple of years since my husband has deployed, so we’ve gotten a break from him being gone every other year since ‘01. When he leaves, he will have been home for three years straight, which hasn’t happened, ever, in our 14-year marriage. I’m already worried about getting things done.
Even though this isn’t technically a deployment, I know the deployment gremlins will show up. They have every other time, why not again? Something will go wrong with the car, an appliance or with anything else that can break down. And I will, for the first time, have the added pressure of trying to sell our house while he is gone.
Deciding on when the right time is to put it on the market is not an easy one. And with the housing market these days, there isn’t even a guarantee it will sell. So, as soon as my husband finds out where we will go after Korea, I will be putting the house up. I figure I’d rather have too much time, than not enough. And if it happens to sell quickly, I will be moving myself, two kids and a dog into a rental. Not something I am looking forward to, but I really, really do not want to rent out our house when we move. I am a worrywart and I will constantly worry about whether the renters will pay on time and if they are taking care of my house. If we don’t have renters, I will have the added worry of paying a mortgage and rent. I just want to be done with it.
The separation is one more reason I need to stay motivated to finally finish my degree, because I don’t want to have to balance everything plus school. Doing battle with those deployment demons isn’t always easy but I’ve done it before and if I’m going to stay on track to graduate before my husband leaves I’ll need to do it again.