Salute to Spouses Blog

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The Amazing Military Spouse

About 48 hours into the deployment, Murphy’s Law supplanted itself into my friend’s life. Her husband had been gone about two days when the pain in her hips got so bad that she scheduled an MRI. 

The tech examined her hips, searching for the source of the pain and found a “thing” on her spine instead. Docs called and demanded she return to the hospital, immediately, for another look.

Four MRIs later, she was told her spinal cord was sitting outside of its protective shell and completely exposed. This is not good.

When doctors told her what they found, her husband, a submariner, was underwater.  And a week later, he still has no idea. There is no email or phone capability in the fathoms below – just silence.

His command, however, spun itself into a tizzy when they learned they had a spouse with three small children looking at near immediate spinal surgery and weeks’ worth of recovery.

They didn’t quite know where to begin or what to do to help her. What they knew for certain was that her husband was not going to be sent home, regardless of her medical condition. The mission, they said, would not be compromised.

There was no hesitation from our group of spouses. Without really even thinking about it, we came together and said, “It’s ok. We got this.”

We quickly discussed which family could take her children, what activities we would ferry them to and how we would handle her house cleaning and back to school shopping.

We began to clear a bedroom in our house and move the television so she could rest there post-surgery without worrying about cleaning and cooking.

As far as we were concerned, the only question was when. The rest of the pieces would fall into place. Her children would be fed and loved. Her daily duties would be tended to. She could rest and heal.

I’d like to think that in other communities, the reaction would be the same. And in small towns where residents have known each other for years, I’m certain it is.

But in the military, friendships are often based on just weeks or even days of knowing each other. Families are strained with their own stressors of deployment and injury – things that would break many civilians. But these same families happily reach out from under their own burdens to shoulder those of others.

As a military spouse, I complain a lot by what I feel is unpreparedness by the commands to handle families. I am vocal about the downfalls I see in the military machine.

But I am humbled and grateful for the graciousness and kindness that I see in military spouses every day as they work together to accomplish what no amount of planning and daily meetings at headquarters could.

These spouses are the reason that military units can function on the front lines. They are the reason America wins wars.

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