By Amy Nielsen

I have been going full tilt buggie for the last few months and my candle is truly nearing its middle.

However, in the last 24 hours, I was given the rare opportunity to not be in charge, and instead, focus only on my daughters as we headed to another of my youngest child’s out of town medical appointments.

It also gave me a chance to learn to be a passenger, which I never am.

The main reason I drive everywhere is that I get horrible car sickness if I do so much as glance to the side rather than straight out the front window if I am not in control of the vehicle I am riding in. I took this trip as a challenge to try to beat car sickness once and for all.

I am working on a class to teach calming meditation to children. So, I said, “Self, it’s time to meditate your belly into submission. I know people can sit in the back of a car. Look at those two!” I whipped out some of those lessons from my cranky brain and went to work on calming my unhappy belly.

Because I could not drive this trip, and because the vehicle we were riding in was a passenger van, I sat in the way back behind my girls in the middle seats. In the exact center. For three hours there, and three hours back.

I got to see the trip from a new vantage point, which was fascinating. It gave me time to figure out how I was going to make it to our hotel and then home again today without being totally miserable. Once I did that, it was delightful watching my girls enjoy the trip from their usual vantage point. It was like being a big kid myself.

I use my sense of hearing a lot when I drive. I rarely play the radio except on roads I know well. Sitting in the back was like hearing the music from speakers turned the wrong way around. It felt like everything was a half second in the wrong direction. I never realized how connected my sense of hearing the road was to my sense of movement, which triggers my car sickness.

I found that this imposed rest time, as I focused out the window, traveling on well-known roads, gave me a chance to find an interesting groove. The roads we travelled are not the greatest for adequate cell service for music downloads, so I had to find music in the rhythm of the road. I love these roads, they are fun to drive once you learn them well. They will teach you respect if you are sloppy though.

My meditation let me feel the rhythm of the road, hear it and know when the tactile sensation would come in relation to it. Learning to hear that timing was what helped me be able to not get sick. I was eventually able to interact with the girls, look out the side windows, and even do a little crocheting by the time we reached our destination.

I was exceptionally proud of myself that I didn’t barf in the van. In fact, I felt only a little green.

When I drive, it feels to me like I physical put the vehicle on, like clothing. I have driven a lot of different vehicles in my time, including some larger trucks. I love to drive. I had to learn to put the vehicle on from a different position.

I created tapes yesterday in my head that allowed me to know how the vehicle sounded under certain conditions and how that related in sound to my location in the back seat, then into my body. I found that if I kept the window cracked I could hear the speed better and I felt less sick. It didn’t hurt that it let in a bit of fresh air. I also found that if I sat near the center I felt better than on the sides.

It has always caused me a bit of annoyance that I always have to drive. I envy those passengers the rest time to do things like read, write or crochet. I get plenty of thinking time when driving, and I see some extraordinary stuff that they miss by looking down, but I would like to be able to nap or watch Downton Abby or read my friend Tony’s new book.

The ride wasn’t as successful as I would have liked. I am definitely a bit more groggy today than I was yesterday. And I think crocheting will have to wait. But then I’m still learning. I know that I am much calmer from working so hard on meditating for such a long time. I know that the forced rest where I couldn’t Facebook, or read, or be mentally elsewhere from my kids meant that we got a chance to talk about all sorts of things we were seeing. We got six hours of connected time that we otherwise usually use differently.

I learned that in cases like this I can manage to be a passenger. I think the front seat might be a better option, but I can do it. It gives me hope that in time I might be able to be a good passenger. Kind of like a good customer. If you are a good customer then you will get good service. I know what it is to be the one who has to drive, I know what it takes to be a happy driver. As a good front seat passenger, I can help a good driver be really comfortable.

So if you are one of those souls who is blessed with the ability to be a passenger, be a good one when we unfortunates who have to drive are cranky and sleepy. No, you can’t offer to drive, unless you sedate us or make sure to have a very large waterproof bag. And if you are a driver, there is hope that you too, someday, may be able to let someone else drive. Maybe.