By Jenna Moede

I’ve learned over time that life doesn’t always turn out the way that I planned. Sometimes, it turns out even better than I could have imagined.

Life married to a man in the military definitely fits the unplanned bill. Even though I always feel surprised by new things, even after doing this for several years, I found a few twists and turns that surprise me more than others.

I learned pretty quickly that my spouse’s work center and the people he met there became like a second family to him.

A lot of the men and women he interacts with daily live similar situations to our own. They may not have family close by, they might need a place to go on holidays, or they might have just moved here. No matter what the story, it seems that they can quickly bond.

I’ve talked a lot about putting down roots in the community and finding friends outside of the military, but the military has some great built-in friends too. I found that I bonded just as quickly with the spouses, fiancés and significant others of those my husband spends his days with.

This brought us a lot of invites to spend time with friends after work hours, and we got to try things we didn’t know about on our own. Maybe we can bond quickly because we know that this duty station will not last forever, and we need good friends every place we go.

I also found that we benefited from all the events those friends attended. We never felt out of place or alone at command-sponsored events once we started taking advantage of them. We always knew people, and we always had a great time learning more about our friends or meeting new ones.

I’ve never seen anything like the military community before and the way this lifestyle creates lasting friendships.

I also felt rattled when I realized that my husband’s job came before literally anything and everything else. I’ve mentioned before that as military spouses, we need to be flexible, but that didn’t come easily for me.

Many military members have rigid schedules with long work days, and even when I thought my husband had time off, I had to learn to expect the unexpected.

My husband often gets recalled on his days home or leaves for several days at the drop of a hat, and just when I think I have his schedule all figured out, it changes.

I’ve learned to go with the flow, but I still felt taken aback the first time my husband got called in and had to cancel big plans. Now I feel better prepared for the curveballs, but life still doesn't always go according to my plan.

After moving to Wyoming and becoming a military spouse, I started to learn about all the resources that I had available to me.

I used to think that they only had resources for the military members, but military spouses have so many options out there too.

Aside from the benefits like medical, housing, the commissary and Base Exchange, spouses can take advantage of the gyms on base, the child development center, the youth center, the libraries and other fantastic amenities.

My husband joined the Air Force and we have an Airman and Family Readiness Center that will help families, airmen or spouses with just about any question that could come up. They even offered a tour of the base when I first moved here.

They can answer questions about budgeting, employment opportunities and family benefits and classes. Our base even offers a parents’ night out where couples can have a free night of child care. I only found out about it through a class I took at the Airman and Family Readiness Center.

When I first moved, I had no idea how much use and knowledge I could take away from that resource.

I also found out that we have key spouses. Each squadron has a different key spouse and each can answer specific questions. Shortly after I moved to Wyoming, the key spouse reached out to me and offered to show me around and invited me to a couple of events.

I met some nice friends, and I learned a lot about the base, the military, and the opportunities available.

Lastly I learned that not everyone loves the military. While many people we met really have enjoyed living life military style, some have really regretted joining.

While it really surprised me at first, I’ve learned to not concern myself too much with what other people think of the military. I feel grateful for the opportunities the military has given my family, and I try to surround myself with people who also have positive outlooks.

That doesn’t mean that everyone I spend time with has a spouse that plans on making a career out of the military, but I had to find out that I feel more optimistic when I surround myself with people and families who can find the bright side of any situation.

Overall I know it can feel overwhelming when trying to figure out the ropes of a military life, but I really think you get out of it what you put into it. Stay positive and realize that you might never fully know everything about the lifestyle. I learn new information, resources and meet new people daily, and I never really know what the next chapter might bring.