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A Little Perspective Goes a Long Way

woman sitting on a benchI was at a playdate with “mixed company.”

That’s the running joke we have here in our small military town when you have a gathering that involves military and non-military families together.

A friend of mine, who is married to a police officer, discussed briefly that her husband sometimes still considers enlisting in the Navy. But then she quickly added that she was terrified of that idea. She said she couldn’t do it. She wanted him to come home every night.

I laughed and assured her that being married to a cop scared the pants off me, in fact.

We both were pretty emphatic that it would be hard for us to choose each other’s life, which got me thinking about perspective.

My brother, who is an officer in the Navy, is also married to a sailor. His job sends him overseas; his wife works on submarines, like my husband. 

He deploys so frequently that in the time he is away, his wife had deployed and returned. They’ve been married a few years and only once has he been stateside and home when she went left.

That night, after she deployed, he called me, jokingly calling himself a “horrible Navy wife” and begging to hear tips on how to do this.

“Being left behind sucks,” he maintained.

I couldn’t believe how crazy he sounded. I would much rather be here, in my comfortable house with my children, than underwater in a steel tub or in a combat zone, like my husband and he are, respectively.

It’s all about perspective, I guess.

This week, my husband had a horrible day at work and came home wondering why something around the house hadn’t gotten done during the daytime hours.

I was shocked and offended for a good chunk of time. I felt criticized and unappreciated.

It was only when we discussed it later that he realized why he had said it.

He has no idea what it’s like to work from home part-time while taking care of two little girls and volunteer for non-profits.

On the other side of the coin, I have no idea what it’s like to work in a high-pressure, high-security job where he has little to no contact with anyone but his fellow submariners for months at a time.

And, to be honest, I don’t want to know.

I’m also pretty sure my husband isn’t too keen on taking up the role of stay-at-home dad anytime soon, either. In fact, the last time I left him alone with the kids for 30 minutes, there was blood and tears involved.

A little perspective, you see, changes everything.

While I don’t always love this life, it could be much worse. I could be married to someone else, and we could be stationed somewhere else.

 Heck, I could be in the Navy myself.

It’s not a perfect life, but it works for me. Just like being married to a cop works for my friend. Or being the works-out-of-the-home parent works for my husband.

There are bad days, sure.

But thanks to a little perspective, I realize it could be a lot worse.

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