Amazing how a couple weeks can go by and I can go from the highest of highs and then quickly fall flat on my face.
A month into our new, packed schedule and I feel like I may have bitten off more than I can chew. It doesn’t help that this is a very busy time of year for my husband. But in this lifestyle when isn’t it?
When it comes to all the duties on the homefront, I am up to bat. Which normally I can handle. But add carpooling preschoolers and volunteering three days a week on top of it all and I am holding up my white flag and silently shouting, “I surrender!”
But there is no way I can admit to anyone that I am failing. Why? Because I chose this. It’s my job. My house is a disaster, which makes me anxious. My kids are acting out because I am away from home more. And when I am home, I have little to no patience. If I am not disciplining them I am giving into things I wouldn’t normally let slide because its just easier.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t multitasking when I was home with my kids. I feel like I have separate 'to do' lists for every role I have - mom, wife, volunteer #1, volunteer #2 - but can never manage to complete a list in its entirety. I am on a hamster wheel and can’t seem to get off.
I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling. I know it may take some adjusting for all of us but frankly, I am overwhelmed. So my friends, how do you do it? How do you manage it all? Work, home, military life?
It’s time to work out the kinks, get some suggestions and get a little more organized. I thought I would have it all figured out by now. Does something have to go? I am not sure if I am willing to give up anything up quite yet because I truly love all of the things I have going on right now, but, at what expense makes it worth it?
I chose to be a stay-at-home mom, but I am not really at home much any more. Then again, I certainly do not have a paycheck to “prove” my hard work is worth it.
So I apologize, I am not my usual bubbly, optimistic military spouse today. Today I am just exhausted and overwhelmed.
I brought it on myself so it’s a little hard to admit to. I am still loving our military life and where it has brought us (even if my husband will be out of the country for our son’s birthday), but struggling to keep my head above the water.
I am hoping a weekend with my husband at home will be the cure. Or maybe a clean house will do the trick or a good family day at the beach. Or maybe all of the above? For now I will tuck my white flag back in the bunker and push through another day. After all, I am a military wife. We don’t know how we do what we do - we just do it.