My husband is home after a month long TAD. It was our longest time apart since the birth of our second son, a year and a half ago. I admit, in the past I have often compared my life as a military spouse and mother to that of a single parent. From sun up to sun down, I do it all when it comes to the house and kids. We welcome dad as a dinner guest when he can make it. But after the last month, I can honestly say that although my husband was not physically present with our kids as much as we would like, I am far from a single parent.

Leading up to this TAD, I really thought I had everything under control. I wasn’t even sweating my husband being in a different country for a few weeks. The two months leading up to the trip were filled with some long work hours so I figured I was already used to being solo Monday thru Friday, what would a few extra days be like? Difficult but clearly manageable. Right? It’s only a month! Chick flicks on the DVR were saved, wine and breakfast for dinner were on my agenda. I could do this.

I was not prepared for the amount of long days, stress and illnesses that took over our house. The first week I barely slept three hours a night. We had a leak in our ceiling, in our new house, and our builder did not return my call for four weeks. Our cat (who is the source of our allergies I would later learn) had a new bad habit of climbing and breaking things and managed to ruin a wall - and all of our family pictures. The dog ran away (make a mental image of me carrying our 30-pound toddler and 30-pound dog down the street while screaming at my 3-year-old to bring me a leash). My toddlers turned into picky eaters and dinner after dinner went untouched. Then we got the stomach bug. One by one, we all went down. And it’s only been two weeks. No to mention the weather. Oh the cold, rainy weather!!! I couldn’t catch up. Laundry piled up, things were out of their place and my anxiety levels were through the roof.

I had an emotional breakdown. I had not mentally prepared for all of these things to happen one after the other and to be housebound with two active toddlers. I was a bit rusty in this whole TAD thing. Military wife of 7 years? I felt like it was my first month. And imagine a deployment?! No way I could survive! But even though my husband was thousands of miles away, I still had him. I could email him, call him if I really needed him. And I did. I vented and cried and told him it was more than I thought and I took advantage of the fact he was home with us every day. How did I ever complain about his long work day? I would do anything to have him home by bedtime right now! And even though I knew there was nothing he could physically do to help me, just having him listen was all I needed. I wasn’t alone in this military life. We were a team, even when we were apart.

Somehow the emotional breakdown I had was what I needed to put life back into perspective. I stopped trying to do it all and realized I never have done it all by myself. Since we have had our boys, I have always had my husband in some way or another. I have never really been a single parent. Even when he is away working, he is providing for us - financially and emotionally. The boys and I look forward to that break in the day when he comes through the door and goes from Marine to Dad to husband before he does anything. I have always known how lucky we are but this time apart showed me that even when I feel alone in this military life, I always have my Marine. He may not make it home for dinner or to do the dishes, but he is home. And that I will never take for granted again.