Do you feel it yet?

The cuts to the DOD budget after sequestration have begun to trickle down to military families.

Last week the Army and Marines announced a freeze in tuition assistance for military members.

No more money for college. None. Need those credits for your promotion points? Oh well.

This week the Air Force followed suit.

In Hawaii the command has announced that base changes due to the cuts will be posted in next week’s base newspaper. I can hardly wait.

I sat with a fellow Army spouse last week and between the two of us we could think of dozens of places that the Army in particular could cut costs, but never did I imagine tuition assistance would be at the top of the list.

However, this is just the beginning.

The National Military Family Association has put together a fantastic list of military families’ daily needs on base and how they will be affected. Check the list here: http://www.militaryfamily.org/feature-articles/sequestration-rumor-fact.html

Think you’re mad about losing tuition assistance? At least your service member can still access their GI Bill benefits to make up the difference. Wait until you’re in a holding pattern in the pediatrician’s office with a vomiting toddler. All thanks to budget cuts.

The NMFA said the military health system will be cut by $3 billion. The DOD civilians who account for 40 percent of the workforce in military healthcare facilities will be subject to furloughs meaning you may not be able to get into the clinic when you need to.

The organization also predicts that Child Development Centers on base and Commissaries will have reduced hours. Military exchanges, however, which are not funded by the military budget will experience no changes in service or hours.

Bummed about not being able to pick up a loaf of bread after 7 p.m.? How about not knowing when, or if, you are going to PCS? I have two friends whose husbands are in a holding pattern, their PCS orders on ice, until the Army decides if the budget cuts mean there is not enough money left to move them.

The NMFA fact sheet said each service will decide how the budget crunch will change their PCS schedule.

Budget cuts are here to stay. Are you ready?  

Cuts to Tuition Assistance do not mean the end of your education. Eligible service members can continue to use their veterans benefits including:

Montgomery GI Bill Active Duty

http://www.gibill.va.gov/benefits/montgomery_gibill/active_duty.html

Reserve Educational Assistance

http://www.gibill.va.gov/benefits/other_programs/reap.html

Montgomery GI Bill Selected Reserve

http://www.gibill.va.gov/benefits/other_programs/reap.html

Post 9/11 GI Bill

http://www.gibill.va.gov/benefits/post_911_gibill/index.html

Military members who are also military spouses may qualify for Bryant & Stratton College Online’s Salute to Spouses scholarship, created after the government temporarily suspended the MyCAA program in 2010.

http://www.salutetospouses.com/scholarship

For me, the last .2 miles of any race is the hardest. I want it to be over. I can see the finish line and I begin to push myself harder than I have throughout the entire race.

The same can be said of deployment.

I have found myself in the last week trying to take on much more than I have all deployment!

My friends, like me, are finding that Murphy's Law of Redeployment is in full effect for the last two weeks of this seemingly endless year! If you have not heard of this law, it states the following:

1. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong and it will affect the most expensive and most difficult to fix items in your life.
2. All of the kids will lose their minds and everyone will plan something for every night for those last two weeks.
3. You will be called on to make decisions that you have no business making and you will misunderstand almost everything that your sweet soldier tries to tell you.
4. The redeployment ceremony time will change no less than ten times in 24 hours.

So, if you are reading this and still waiting (almost impatiently) for your soldier to return, do what I do at the end of a race. Turn on the fire!

Push through with everything you have. In your mind (not out loud for heaven's sake), scream at the top of your lungs that you will make it! You will get there! I will get there! It is time to push harder than you have all year!

Don't take on things that you don't have to. Don't make decisions that you don't have to. Keep breathing in and out. Your sweet soldier doesn't care how clean the house is. He doesn't care what you are wearing. He cares that you show up!

I hope that I have received my 24-hour notification of his arrival by the time you read this, but hang in there! He's almost home and it is almost time for a new beginning!

Strength, Courage and Patience ... sby

We had our second baby last month. Two whole days after our due date, in fact.

I spent February doing almost nothing but anticipating our second daughter’s birth.

She was just four days old, nursing in my lap, and I was on the phone with our FRG president discussing ways to help another wife who had had a baby the same day as me.

This spouse was a first-time mom who had just moved to our Navy base. Her husband was a new sailor on our boat.

And while I refused to face the fact that my husband was barely going to meet our new little person before the boat deployed again, it was all I could think about for this new Navy spouse and, now, new mother.

And so, the president and I planned food and support and tried to coordinate ways to help the new family.

As we talked, I remembered having my first daughter almost two years ago and shaking in terror as I sat alone, overnight with my newborn for the first time. Motherhood is harrowing - military motherhood even more so.

I sometimes wonder how I survived those first months. I barely saw my husband and was barely able to handle this 7-pound baby who demanded milk, attention and my constant presence at all times.

Then I remember the spouses who came and sat with me while I learned to nurse her. The women who brought me roast chicken, homemade bread and vegetable soup. The friends who ignored the fact that I hadn’t vacuumed our carpets or combed my hair. The ladies who made me feel a little less alone and, eventually, a little more competent at this kinda, sorta, single parenthood thing.

It may have seemed like it was just me raising my daughter. But back on our first Navy base, that little village raised me as a mother.

This is why I now insist on cooking for new moms in our neighborhood, even as I’m nursing my own newborn. I offer to hold their babies, so they can take a quick shower. I am there to support them.

And they are there still to support me.

After our second daughter arrived, I teared up when I found gifts on the front porch for our newly minted big sister, sewn by a fellow Navy wife. 

I was speechless when another spouse made me three giant jars of pasta sauce. Those will be perfect for a night when things get hairy with two kids and a deployed husband.

There is something to be said for holding your chin up and carrying on while your sailor is away.  But there is no shame in admitting you need help either. We all do.

And that’s what is so incredibly special about the military community. 

Even though it looks, and sometimes feels, like a solitary journey, for those of us left behind waiting, we are truly never alone.

Follow Brittany at www.brittsbeat.com

I hate white walls.

I know that white, Crate & Barrel style homes are all the rage. And yeah, they’re pretty. But I, like many military spouses, have been required to keep white walls for the last decade.

Army housing does not allow paint. Heck, when we moved in to our Army housing in Hawaii the government agent asked us to please not hang pictures on the walls.

Welcome home – don’t touch anything.

Retirement equals a colorful, creative burst of home decorating that many of us have been struggling to contain for years. I personally have the inexplicable desire to paint a room creamsicle orange.

But first, you have to buy your canvas, err, home.

Service members, including retirees, have a fabulous benefit at our disposal: the VA mortgage program. The VA guarantees a portion of your loan so the lender can offer you better terms. Rates are usually lower and you can purchase a home without putting any money down.  The VA also limits the amount you can be charged for closing costs and lenders cannot charge you a fee for paying the loan off early.

Some things to know as you begin your home search:

1. Do not pick a house and then apply for your loan. Each state has a maximum loan allowance set by the VA. You can be pre-approved for your loan. It makes the process shorter and gets you into your home quicker.
2. If you’ve already used your benefit to purchase a home, you can only use the remaining balance of your VA allowance to purchase a second home. For example, if your allowance is $100, and you buy a home for $50 you only have $50 worth of loan left.
3. Money down is great but will not change the terms of your loan. Your debt to income ratio and your credit score are still used to qualify you for the loan and will help earn you better terms.
4. Everyone who applies for a VA home loan must first obtain a certificate of eligibility. This is easy to do and can be done online. Go to http://www.benefits.va.gov/HOMELOANS/purchaseco_certificate.asp for links and instructions

If you already have a VA loan the Interest Rate Reduction Refinance Loan, also known as the streamline refinance loan, can help you lower your interest rate. These loans do not require an appraisal and are done with no money out of pocket.

Disabled veterans can apply for adapted housing grants through the VA to build, purchase or modify a home that will allow them to live more comfortably with their disability.

There are several non-VA affiliated companies that specialize in processing VA loans. You can contact them to begin your home-buying adventure or work with your local lender.

It’s time to enjoy your home. Happy buying and happy painting!

Government furloughs are here. And suddenly, everyone is screaming.

So, what have you been doing since the plan was announced, months ago, signaling the coming of this day? 

Nothing.

And that’s what Americans, especially military spouses, seem to be good at.

Our nation was built by men and women who stood up for their rights, who fought, who were active in their local government, who took part in solving the problem.

We, as their proud descendants, just sit around and complain. We live fat on the spoils of their hard-earned freedoms while a few still work to keep the nation afloat.

And the majority of us never get involved until the problems fall squarely into the middle our laps, messing with our daily schedule.

Commissary hours change. The lines are longer at the airport during PCS season. And, gasp! Our tax returns may take longer to process meaning we can’t run out and immediately buy more gaming systems! Oh, the horror!  

I realize I am minimizing the potential for furlough induced disaster that has been expressed by every federal agency from NOAA to the DOD. However, it’s hard to convince people that fewer meteorologists sitting behind computers really affect them until there is no one at work to push the tornado warning siren as a storm rips through their town.

It’s hard to convince Americans that this really is about them, their neighbors and their way of life.

We’ve forgotten about the thousands of families whose paychecks will now be significantly less through September because of this policy. Same bills - less money.

Last year when the edge of the fiscal cliff meant military families would receive zero dollars in their next paychecks, no one seemed to notice thousands of us scramble, my family included, trying to figure out how we would buy food if that policy lasted more than one pay period.

Luckily, military pay has been exempted from this round of cuts. Government paychecks have not. Our co-workers, neighbors and friends are going to face hard times. Meanwhile, we are fussing about not being able to grab a gallon of milk at the commissary whenever we want.

And for those of us who declare, “Bring on the furlough, cuts need to be made” – sure, our government needs to trim the budget and bring the deficit down. But, across the board cuts, made with a thoughtless, machete slash rather than a well-placed incision, are not the way to go.

Families are going to hurt and suffer. Communities are going to be strained. Eventually, everyone is going to feel this one.

I was on FaceTime with my sweet soldier yesterday when the house phone rang.

Me: Hello

Caller: Is this Mrs. Young?

Me: Yes, it is, and as a matter of fact, I am on the phone with my soldier.

Caller: That's great, Mrs. Young, and I am calling with great news!

Me: That's great! I could use some good news.

Caller: Well, Mrs. Young, is this the best number to reach you when your soldier is scheduled to arrive?

Me: No, please call my cell phone.

Caller: That's great, Mrs. Young! We will call you 24 hours before the redeployment ceremony.

Me: Thank you so much! Have a great day!

Let the madness begin! He will be home soon!

Strength and Courage ... sby

After nine years of service in the Navy, I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

Nursing has always been a career I wanted to try, but I was too afraid to take the first step. My husband is a hospital corpsman in the Navy and brings books home about all sorts of different diseases and treatments. These books fascinate me.

He speaks so passionately about his job. He loves helping people. One night he told me, “You should try nursing. I think you would be great at it.”

So, I took a step. The next week I registered for classes in the medical assistant field. It wasn’t nursing but being a medical assistant taught me a lot about working in the doctor’s office and the basics of the health field.

During my nine months of training I fell in love with the field. I knew this was the career that I wanted.

Love isn’t easy. The school work and the lab assignments are no joke. At times, I had second thoughts about continuing. If it wasn’t for the support and motivation from my husband and my fellow classmates, I don’t know if I would have finished.

The greatest feeling was walking across the stage to receive my diploma. All that hard work paid off. I had earned my degree as a medical assistant. I wanted more.

I decided to become a registered nurse. Now, I’m finishing my first year of prerequisites for my nursing degree.

Yes, it’s hard work. I am up late at night studying and memorizing body parts and medications that I never thought existed. But the end goal is worth it. I look forward to helping another human. That opportunity is priceless to me and I’m happy to do it!

Bad customer service makes my husband cringe. Not because he is offended by the service, but because he fears the scene I might make.

Let me just clarify, I don’t send food back, I don’t snarl at people who seem to be trying their best and I certainly have never made anyone cry.

However, I don’t shy away from expressing my disappointment when I believe a service to be less than it could be. Verizon, for example, and their ever skyrocketing bills and what I find to be miserable service, is my arch-nemesis. We have exchanged unpleasantries more than once via Facebook.

So, this week when USAA’s check-deposit at home feature failed us, and our house payment check bounced as a result, my husband was furious. However, he refused to call and complain. That, he said, was my job.

Nope, not this time. I refused.

So, he called. And as it turns out, USAA gave him everything he wanted.

At some point in the last week the rep explained that JAVA updated their systems, prohibiting our check from being scanned. No USAA customer on any continent was able to deposit a check, the bank representative said.

I envisioned military spouses everywhere swearing at their computers that night, much like I was.

The representative refunded him the bounced check fee. When he then expressed his concern over the late house payment, the rep dialed the mortgage company on a three-way line.

He explained who he was and what happened - problem solved. The payment was resubmitted, late fees were returned.

And my husband suddenly understood. Sometimes, it’s worth calling and asking, dare I say, complaining. There was a logical reason for the difficulty and the company was willing to remedy it.

Had we never called, the late fee would have remained. Our mortgage would have been marked late. We would have paid for a mistake completely out of our control.

I don’t advocate consumer complaining, I advocate standing up for yourself. Ask and sometimes, you shall receive.

The first groups of soldiers have begun to return home from our deployment. As pictures pop up on Facebook of the reunions, it is like seeing the signs of spring in our yard. It gives us hope and reminds us that every flight, every reunion, is one flight closer to my soldier coming home.

I love seeing pictures of the families, signs and soldiers, but my all-time favorite picture popped up the other day.

A very sweet friend's soldier was due home on Valentine's Day. As the soldiers marched into the reunion area, another friend was snapping pictures and captured a shot of him pointing, his arm fully extended, at his family. For any of you who have been though this reunion ritual, finding each other in the crowd is half the battle.

The picture was so poignant that the image just stuck with me.

The next day, I was on the dreaded treadmill, running with my music blasting in my ear. Where You Are began to play, and I tell you, sweet friends, I almost began to cry. I kept seeing the image of my friend's soldier pointing to his chosen.

Well everybody hurts

That's where we're all the same

We drive on through the worst

And push on through the pain

I'm standing at your door

It's been a million miles

I'll be the first to say

I can't take anymore

And that I want to be where you are

I feel the same as I did from the start

Whoa, I want to be where you are

And I'm willing to get there

There won't be any hearts breaking again

This is the part where I stay where I stand

Oh, I want to be where you are

Tell me you're with me so far

It has been a difficult year with many ups, downs and even maybe some sideways. But the one thing that you need to remember, sweet friends, is that they will all come home: whether it is on the first flight, the last flight or any in between. Don't forget to be excited for your sisters in arms. I know that is not always easy when you have spent the year waist deep in the fray of life, but get excited!

Every flight that arrives is one flight closer to my sweet soldier coming home!

Strength, Courage and Patience ... He's almost home... sby

Have you ever dreamed of being a writer? This could be your first step.

Salute to Spouses is looking for a new columnist to write about his or her busy life as both a military spouse and student.

Are you dealing with deployment and finals? Do you schedule study sessions around your spouse’s trip to the field? We want to hear from you!

Come be part of a community built to support our military brothers and sisters-in-arms reach their own goals and be the best they can be.  We’d love to have you.

Contact editor Allison Perkins at adperkins@bryantstratton.edu