This article is a blog post

Ready to file your taxes? Check out the new laws first

The DFAS website shut down temporarily last week when thousands of military users logged on in an attempt to access their W-2s and finish their tax filing. Technically the IRS isn't open for business until today so you have time to double-check your numbers and peruse the new tax law changes for 2013.

Some of those laws, probably don't concern most military families.

For example, if you made more than $450,000 in 2013 your tax rate is now 39.6 percent.

However, there are many new rules that may change the amount you owe Uncle Sam.

First, the Recovery Act of 2009 that granted everyone with a child a hefty credit has been extended for five years. Say it with me, whoohoo! There are even larger credits now for households with three or more children.

New deductions have been added too. Including,

- deductions for school teacher expenses

- tuition and fees deduction

- mortgage insurance premiums treated as residence interest

If you moved out of housing last year and bought a new home, you may also qualify for tax credits for purchasing an energy-efficient home or appliance. Did you buy a plug-in electric vehicle? That will earn you a credit as will the purchase of an alternative fuel vehicle.

One of the biggest changes for 2013 come as a result of the U.S. Supreme Court finding the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. Now, any same-sex couple, legally married in jurisdictions that recognize their union, will file as married on their federal tax records, regardless of what state they live in.

The details of all these changes and more are available online at the IRS website, www.irs.gov.

Don't feel like wading though the government lingo and red tape? Military One Source has again partnered with H&R Block to provide free access to the company's online filing tool. Once you register with Military One Source you will have access not just to the program but to tax experts who will answer your questions around the clock.

Happy filing!

Home Sweet Home

We bought a house.

Sometimes, I’m still in shock that we did such a crazy thing.

It’s funny, owning a home while we're in the military. We got puzzled looks from strangers when we told them we were house shopping. When we told one acquaintance we were buying, we got the immediate, “So, your time is up in the Navy then?”

I guess it seems funny for military families, whose only constant is change, to set down roots.

But we did.

Financially, it was the smarter choice for our family, and in my husband’s career, we will likely come back here for another tour, possibly several times. The town is full of military families who are renting a home like we once were. But now, we’ll live in our home for the next few years – the rest of our time here – and then we’ll move on and consider it an investment property.

Still, it’s kind of terrifying, owning something in a town I’d never have so much as passed through if it weren’t for the Navy.

Luckily, it’s given me more appreciation for our military benefits. PCS-ing may be horrific, but I would have killed for a military-contracted mover to pack us out and schlep our stuff 10 minutes down the road to the house we bought.

Moving alone, with a toddler and a baby, was an even crazier idea than buying the house.
But we did it, anyway.

We have been wading through a host of firsts, learning what it means to be first-time homeowners: ripping up carpet, painting walls, hanging shelving in the linen closet, erecting a fence, installing a garage door opener, figuring out how to pay our mortgage.

All of it is so new, and so strange, and I am filled with timidity as we face things we’ve never done before.

But that’s not all.

Because now, I’m also unpacking, like we’ve done before, and hanging photos, like we’ve done before, and urging along little repairs and things to make sure it’s all taken care of before he deploys again, just like we’ve done before.

But this time, it’s all ours. Our choice. Our move. Our home.

Maybe not forever, because we are, and will be, a Navy family for a good long time. But it still feels nice to settle into this rite of passage – a little bit of normalcy in our constant world of change.

Homefront Spouse: A Honeymoon, Finally!

I cannot believe the day is here! My husband has almost three weeks of leave for the holidays, beginning in an hour!

This is a big deal in our house. My husband never takes that much leave time. We have been fortunate enough to have him home the last few holiday seasons but that week off usually flies by as we travel to see our families.

This year is special. This year, we are dropping off our boys with their grandparents in New York and taking our much needed, seven years overdue, honeymoon!!

My husband and I have not spent seven days together, without family or our kids, since 2008 when we moved to California. And sorry, driving cross-country in four days is not exactly the honeymoon I was hoping for.

Like many other military couples we know, we were married by a justice of the peace in a little courthouse before he left for training. We were unsure of what our future held in regards to deployment. At the time we had been together for five years and  were engaged for a few months. We decided to run to the courthouse on a whim. Our "big wedding" would be later in the year with our family and friends. But this day, this day was ours and if anything happened, we were married and that was very important to us.

Now, to make a long story short, we had our big wedding during a long weekend (a 72 for us military folk). My husband had back to back schools and training so there was no time to take vacation. We figured a honeymoon would be nice for our first anniversary.

Well, deployment came and went. No honeymoon. Then a pregnancy and another deployment. One more pregnancy and five years into marriage, still no honeymoon. It became a joke at this point. I feared if we planned a vacation the two of us, my husband would deploy or I would get pregnant again. Neither seem very appealing right now.

My sweet husband who knows me better than anyone, knew I would find a million reasons not to take a vacation. So instead of planning it together, he just booked it. I am forever grateful for his spontaneity and ability to make me relax!

So here we are, 48 hours before our flight to St Lucia takes off. No deployment, no third baby. I do have a sick three-year-old and a 14-hour car ride through a snow storm to endure before takeoff but it wouldn't be our life if there wasn't an obstacle to jump. Honeymoon, here we come!

Don't Worry About the New Year, Make A PCS Resolution

Our PCS coincides with the start of the new year, what a great time to hop on those resolutions, right? But I think a PCS, regardless of season, is always a good time to set new goals and start anew.

Our family was very active while in Hawaii, with scouts, school and community projects. But I felt like we lacked time at home, together. In 2014, after cross-country flight, we awoke to cold mornings and colder nights, stuck inside far from the Hawaiian sun we learned to love. What better time to build in regular family game nights or read together by the fireplace?

At our old station we had lots of grownup friends but our time with them was spent organizing children's events. Once that ball gets rolling, it's hard to jump out of the way. You become the "go to" people for a lot and we all know it can be hard to say no.

My husband and I have made a pact to be active here but to carve out time for just the adults as well. Last week when I was asked to be a scout leader I politely declined and offered my services in a smaller role. Success, already!

And as much as I miss heading to the beach several times a week to let my kids burn some energy, it burned mine too.  I was left moving several huge boxes of craft supplies that I never took the time to turn into completed crafts.

I'm not going to lie, it was the same box of supplies that was dragged from the duty station before Hawaii to the island. Well, no more. Mama is going to get her craft on! I have replaced just a few hours a week of running from activity to activity to stay home and spend time with me, doing what I want. Crazy concept, right?

The next time you PCS is a great time to reassess how you are using your time and what you want to accomplish. We all hate to leave behind the lives we have built but rather than mourn those losses, celebrate the opportunity to recognize a job well done and move on to the next phase.

Take time to decide carefully how you want your days to be spent. More time focused on running and exercise? More community roles? Heck, more sit-down dinners at home? Your slate is open and hopefully, your calendar is too.  Take advantage of that to reach your goals at your new duty station.

 

Moving Forward After an Associate's Degree

It's finally happened. After two and a half years, I got the email from my community college. You know, the email.  The one that says "Hey, you might want to have our people run through the records of everything that has made the last few years of your academic life suck, because you just might be finished."

Which, as it turns out, I was . I had completed my associate's of arts degree. 

Exciting, right? I mean, it's time to pomp my circumstance, baby! For two and a half years, I worked, and I worked hard. No summers off, no Greek Week, no spring breaking in Cabo. Because let's be real, that stuff is all awesome if you are 18. Which, I am not.  I am 31. And a mom. And a wife. And no one wants to see that mix in a bikini on a Miami beach.

And as a 31-year-old wife and mom, it made sense that if I were seeking a reasonable paycheck, I should secure some sort of secondary education. So I did. But here's the thing:  no one told me about the lack of arrow-shaped fireworks pointing in the direction to which I am now supposed to proceed with degree in hand. 

Now that I have achieved a two-year degree, there seems to be two, pretty clear paths at this junction of academia semi-completion. I can either continue as a full-time student and work towards a bachelor's degree and allow my professional career to languish while I continue in student limbo. Or, I can return to work in the hopes that an associate's degree is sufficient to secure gainful employment. 

It’s like two roads diverging in the yellow wood. Robert Frost wrote that we cannot travel both. But I can't help but wonder which way he would suggest I go. And I know picking the right one will make all the difference.

Sigh. 

Retirement Chronicles: Changes

Retirement, before age 40. Sweet, right? Military members who join at 18, or like my husband who joined at age 17, can enjoy the carefree life of retirement long before their civilian counterparts.

And for me as a spouse, it's pretty great. No more uniforms, no more deployment books. No more officers' wives dirty looks. The retirement package that the military offers its career service members cannot be beat in the civilian world, even with the recent changes made by Congress.

After 15 years of military marriage and all the red tape, rules and insanity caused by this military life, I was ready to go. I didn't realize, however, how unprepared I was to exit the rigor of Army life.

My husband left our last duty station in Hawaii three months before I did to take care of things on the mainland and prepare for our family's arrival. When he pulled up to the airport terminal to rescue us after 24 hours of traveling, his hair was touching his collar. No, it was below his collar. Unkempt. Uneven. His bangs covered his forehead.

His face was scruffy. He had the beginnings of a beard. His shirt was not tucked in.

He was parked in a no loading zone and dared the authority that wasn't there to tell him to move it. My by the books, strict, E-7 husband was breaking the rules.

There was no uniformed, lower enlisted in tow to help us drag our stacks of suitcases from the curb. There was no paperwork to hand off. No one knew we were there and frankly, no one cared.

At our new home, there was no TA-50 (military equipment) to stash trip over until someone finally stashed it in the hall closet. No one called to remind my husband of PT in the morning or make sure he had signed in.

Our move was quiet. It was lonely. I felt lost without the stack of paperwork that normally greets me at each new place. There were no built-in friends at the FRG calling to welcome us.

We were officially on our own. Retired. Free.

And I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.

I suddenly feel like I don't fit in anymore. At dinner at a local restaurant, we were asked, "Are you military?" Yes. No. Kind of. Used to be?

Younger troops at the gate eye my ID card suspiciously. I can no longer pass for a college student but their raised eyebrows clearly indicate that I don't fit their idea of what a retiree spouse should like either.

When I unpacked a decorative sign we carried for the last 10 years that exclaims "Home is Where the Army Sends Us" I'm not sure if I should hang it, stash it or donate it.

It seems the Army life we dreamed of someday leaving behind is a hard habit to break.

Playing Gatekeeper During Deployment

I spent 40 minutes last night writing an e-mail to my husband that consisted of all the funny things our toddler “cooked” in her play kitchen in a single afternoon.

There were lots of cute details about her pretending to sip a soup made of sugar and tuna fish while yelling, “Yummy!” There was a hilarious tidbit about her running over to my Nativity scene and grabbing the wise men, who she then sauteed with a felt banana.

I’m an old pro at this by now, writing to the man that doesn’t answer me, telling him lots of nothings about our daily lives that he’s missing while underwater. But even for me, this e-mail was over-the-top hilarious.

And that’s because it was hiding something.

A family member is getting divorced.

He would want to know. But I didn’t want to tell him.

My husband has said to me that, when he’s gone, because of the limited contact he does have, he feels like time stops. It’s only when he comes home that he realizes months have passed without him here.

And when he comes home this time, I’m worried it’s going to feel like years.

He’s missed divorces. Deaths. Milestones. Births. Marriages. Crises. Thankfully, his daughters and I are pretty steady. Nothing too shattering has happened to his nuclear family, other than the resident winter flu and a traffic ticket.

But everyone around us is changing and I find myself filled with so much to say in these e-mails late at night – and not all of it is good.

In a way, I’m the gatekeeper.

Does he need to know this? I wonder.  Will it affect him? I ask myself.

And then there’s always the question I already know the answer to.

Can he do anything about it?

No.

Because it’s not that I don’t want to tell him that my aunt’s got cancer.  It’s that he can’t so much as offer his condolences while he’s gone. And I know that eats at him.

It’s bothersome not to be there for the ones you love when they seem to need it most.  And I don’t want to put that burden on him.

At the same time, I want to tell him what’s going on. It’s not like I’m surprising him by refurnishing the living room in a few months. If I don’t fess up, he steps off that boat and I have to tell him we no longer have certain family members.

It’s a bit of a tightrope.

Which is why, tonight, I will tell him about the divorce in the family.

Because at least he’ll know, whether he can do anything about it or not. I can type it out and talk about it, and he can get a glimpse of what’s going on back home, where people are still living their lives - the good and the bad parts.

In a way, it makes him feel more connected, and that’s good.

Plus, that means I don’t have to tell him about the speeding ticket I got this morning.

In a way, everybody wins.

Follow Brittany at http://www.brittsbeat.com/

A job that is out of this world

Question number one on this job application: Are you willing to relocate? To Mars.

If so, you may want to submit your resume and quickly. There are already 20,000 candidates ahead of you.

The Mars One foundation, a Dutch company, is moving forward with plans to send four humans to Mars. The first step, an unmanned mission in 2018, will demonstrate the technology that could possibly be used in a human colony on the red planet. The company hopes to send the first people to the settlement in 2025 if the unmanned mission can prove basic necessities are available such as the production of water.

Company representatives said the application process is now closed for that first ride skyward. However, once that first crew is established, the company plans to send additional crews of four every two years. Over time, as larger space ships are created, they may be able to carry more people. Those who choose to travel, will never be able to return to Earth.

Organizers do site the price tag, $6 billion, and the current lack of science to back up the mission as potential roadblocks. So, if you do apply, make sure you slide your resume into a few earthbound endeavors as well.

Want to learn more? Visit here.

You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore

When my sweet friend and editor, Allison, asked me to write this column over a year ago, I said yes immediately. A few days later I thought, 'Oh crap! What have I gotten myself into?'

I am not a writer by trade, but I do like to tell stories. I have to tell you that it has been really fun sharing my stories with you, and, do you know what else? I learned that I really enjoyed writing, especially writing for you, my readers. When you click on my links and favorites and ping my articles with “likes,” on Facebook, it really made my heart happy. Every week I hoped to help you not feel as alone or as frustrated, and hopefully, we laughed together a little bit too. But at the end of the day, all I wanted was for you to know that we are stronger together than we are apart.

But in Army life, we sometimes have to leave the comfort of the place we love to begin again at a new post or in a new phase of life.

Having begun a new job and other new endeavors, it is time for me to say 'See You Soon' to this column. As I write these words, I smile at the songs and memories shared, but just like in Army life, I won't be far away. I hope to stop by and see you occasionally when I am passing through, and I would love for you to visit me on Facebook or Twitter. My sisters-in-arms and I always say, 'See You Soon' because the Army is small and there is a better than good chance that our paths will cross a gain on another post. Our paths will cross again over social media!

But before I drive away into the sunset with a soldier, three kids, a dog and a truck loaded to maximum capacity, I have to thank the Bryant & Stratton and Salute to Spouses family for giving me a chance. Thank you for the creative license to write what was on my heart. You gave me a platform to touch so many military and civilian hearts and for that, I am forever grateful.

Allison, you are a true friend and battle buddy. Phone calls, emails and missed deadlines. You have encouraged and listened. And without you, there would be no me. Thank you for pushing me and helping me lose sight of the shore. I would have never discovered my love for writing without you, and I can't wait to come visit you and share some pizza again. Maybe we can redo your next kitchen together! I am so glad to call you friend!

To you, Sweet Readers, thank you most of all for listening to the Deployment Soundtrack. Thank you for laughing with me and thank you for your encouragement.

Thank you for your Strength and Courage ... sby

 

 

More for 2014

Welcome to 2014, friends! Have you dedicated yourself to a New Years’ resolution? Here at Salute to Spouses we have a goal this year that we are excited about.

This year we have dedicated ourselves to bringing you more.

  • More hometown blogs written by military spouses – your favorite blogs by Brittany Casey, Ann Marie Dombrowski and Rebecca Yarros will appear twice a month
  • Facebook updates on important national issues for military families
  • In-depth articles to help you be successful in school and on the job
  • Monthly conversations with the movers and shakers in government and military interest groups who are working to keep benefits for military families
  • Profiles of the spouses with the coolest jobs who are surfing the newest trends in the job market
  • If you are a fan of Pinterest, you will see us there too!

We know you want to be your best in 2014 and the staff of Salute to Spouses is here to help you reach that goal. We are here for military spouses, covering topics that impact the lives of military families, written by military spouses.

Join us on our journey into 2014. It’s going to be a great one!

Pages

$6,000 SCHOLARSHIP
For Military Spouses
Apply for the Salute to Spouses scholarship today and begin your education! You’ll be on the way to your dream career.

© 2013 SALUTE TO SPOUSES ALL RIGHTS RESERVED